Getting a tattoo is a big deal.
A person is marking their body for life.
So unless you're fall down drunk, most people plan out their tattoo intimately.
But sometimes the work isn't what you'd expect.
Case in point...
Redditor TattoodNoobAITA wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
"AITA for getting mad my artist hid their initials in my tattoo?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"This is a short one."
"Names changed for privacy."
"I went to a tattoo shop in my area, with a photo of the tattoo I wanted."
'It was one my dad had gotten to honor my passed grandfather who’s father also had it."
"But the point is - it was important to me that the tattoo looked EXACTLY as it did in the photo."
"I get to the shop, I explain everything, I pay, get the tattoo, and we’re done."
"I think it looks awesome, everything is great!"
"Until a few weeks later when I show my great grandmother the tattoo."
"She’s ecstatic, grabs my arm to look at and compliment it, then asks, 'Who’s AJ?'"
"I ask her what she means, and she points out on the tattoo where the initials A and J or maybe T were hidden into the tattoo."
"I’m instantly pissed, as my artist's name is Alice Trever."
"She tries to assure me it’s no big deal if I hadn’t noticed it til now, but I still reached out to the artist sort of irritated."
"They told me the style of art I got is called traditional and it’s 'pretty trad' for all artists who do that style to do it."
"I demanded a partial refund and they refused, so I complained to the owner who made the artist give me a full refund."
"Now the artist is running a full smear campaign, talking about moving shops, and all kinds of crap."
"My sister says I’m an a**hole for pushing the issue, but I feel like, at the end of the day, I told you exactly what I wanted and you didn’t do that."
"AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
"NTA and I would even consider suing."
"They kind of branded you with their initials."
"And they should get fired." ~ Ok_Possibility5715
"Especially since it sounds like OP told the artist it needs to be EXACT."
"And they still put their initials anyway."
"You get permission before you do that s*it, it's permanent after all who wants a random person's initials in their tattoo?" ~ _ac3_0f_spad3s_
"Here’s the thing: I worked in tattoo for over a decade and I can tell you no one, I mean no one that’s a professional artist would ever consider hiding anything."
"Much less their own name or initials inside someone else’s tattoo."
'It’s not 'trad,' it’s not normal, and it’s not okay."
"I’m horrified some scratcher tried to pass this off as a thing."
"It’s not a thing."
"I’m with some of these other commentators that OP should sue."
"It’s not frivolous if someone branded their name on you without consent. Super uncool." ~ WithoutDennisNedry
"Tattoo artist must be licensed, correct?"
"I’m pretty sure it’s a requirement in each state here in the US."
"I’d also imagine it’s like that in most countries as well."
"Maybe OP should contact the organization that licensed the tattoo artist for possible revocation of their tattoo license."
"OP, NTA and please do go after this artist in any legal manner, so they can’t try the same thing on other unsuspecting customers." ~ Kilran3
"NTA. This person straight up BRANDED you!"
"Not only that, this isn't even the artist's design, it's a copied design!" ~ Pickitline
"Considering the tattoo was supposed to be an exact copy covering the initials would not make this situation right."
"Completely removing the tattoo with laser treatments than reapplying the tattoo as an exact copy without the initials is the only way to make the situation right."
"It would be up to OP if they wanted to go through all that pain to rectify the situation." ~ Proxiimity
"Exactly. If OP went in with a concept and the artist designed the whole tattoo, I wouldn't be mad about a well hidden artist's initial."
"But OP went in with an exact design they wanted copied over, exact is the key word." ~ Revan343
"Not only that, it’s not even their design!"
"It’s be one thing if it was this artist’s original work, but she was replicating something."
"Major *ick move, already, and that’s before we even start the conversation about consent."
"Def NTA, OP." ~ GooseDactyl
"NTA. I remember there was an Ink Master episode where someone had a piece with a clock face and the artist put their time of birth on it as some kind of 'signature.'"
"The judges ripped him up for it. Same basic principle."
"Tattoo artists shouldn't be signing a tat in anyway without first discussing it with the client."
"Your artist definitely shouldn't have done this since it was a particularly meaningful design for you." ~ RubY-F0x
"Not only did the Artist permanently brand you without your permission."
"But it wasn’t even original artwork."
"This artist has to be so full of herself, she must be bursting at the seems. NTA." ~ REDDIT
"I recently got a couple new tattoos and one of them has script in my mom’s handwriting."
"My artist was so careful to make sure it was still her handwriting; she had me ask my mom to do it on a hilly slant since it’s with a flower stem."
"I have a lot of trust in her and I’m obsessed with both of my new pieces."
"It’s nice to work with someone that isn’t super pushy and that I could trust to get what I wanted."
"I would be LIVID in OP’s position." ~ livlivesforbrains
"NTA. I'm a tattooed guy and this thing is incredibly gross, she ruined a meaningful piece of art and she branded your own body without giving you a heads up."
"And now she's trying to play victim over it?"
"Are these details discussed in this 'smear campaign' of hers?"
"If I were you (and with the store owner's blessing), I'd intervene and explain to everyone exactly what she did."
"Because that sh*t will get her trashed pretty bad in the tattoo community."
"ETA: You know what, scratch 'with the store owner's blessing,' she's dragging their name in the mud anyway, and you gotta protect her future clients from this bulls*it." ~ exaltedbythesun
"NTA. The artist put something on your body they didn't have permission to."
"You didn't consent to their initials, and it's really weird to mark another person with your name without them knowing."
"I hope word gets around because what this artist did was definitely not okay." ~ TinyRascalSaurus
"So much NTA."
"My mother's last position before she retired was as a same-day surgery scrub nurse at a teaching hospital."
"She told me warning stories about how there's always a percentage of surgical residents who are... well like this one guy she gave as an example..."
"He would carve his initials into the skulls of brain surgery patients any time he got the chance."
"When it comes to your body, anyone doing anything to it not medically warranted or specifically requested by you as part of a service, should not be in a profession where they put hands on people."
"Your tattoo artist should not be a tattoo artist." ~ HelenGonne
"NTA and I would blow that artist up on social media so her customers know what she's doing."
"You should seriously consider suing the artist and/or the shop for removal of that portion of the tattoo, and the cost of getting another artist to fix it."
"That is unbelievably unethical of that tattoo artist." ~ telepathicathena
"NTA. I'd take the artist to small claims court to pay for a removal personally."
'I'd never want anyone's initials on me without my consent."
"And it is absolutely not standard to initial a tattoo in American traditional style." ~ LoupGarou95
"NTA. I have a LOT of 'traditional' tattoos and traditional or not, no reputable artist would do this unless it was agreed in advance and part of the final, approved design." ~ _WearAllTheHats_
"Former tattoo artist here (9 yrs as one) absolutely NTA."
"When I was training my mentor warned me about other artists who did that."
"It used to be quite a common thing... it horrified me when he told me and I still find it terrible now, you NEVER do anything without consent when tattooing!
"Sorry that happened to you, you deserved that full refund." ~ cashpound
"NTA. I have heard of this- of tattoo artists having a signature, I can think of a few locally."
"One guy (he's retired now) was so popular and talented that having his signature on your tattoo was a big part of the appeal."
"However, I've never heard of anyone doing it without permission, that's bonkers."
"Also, someone else had mentioned, it wasn't even their design."
"Not only did they owe you a refund, but the owner should be getting another artist at the shop to cover it for you free of charge." ~ WellEffItForNow
Well OP, Reddit is in your corner.
Your body, your choice.
It sounds like you may want to talk to a lawyer.
Good luck in the resolution.















Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend Who Worried People Would Think She Was Trans For Using Stand-To-Pee Device
Content Warning: Transphobia, Transphobic Comments
There are countless different reasons that a relationship might end, and a red flag could arise at any time. Some of these might have been learned in childhood and could improve over time.
Transphobia is absolutely a red flag that should be acted on immediately; however, with no option to fly again, pointed out the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor funnelfuss was in the car with her boyfriend when they got stuck in a traffic jam.
She really needed to use the restroom, so since she had a device with her to make the process easier, she decided she'd step out of the car.
But when her boyfriend panicked and thought people might mistake her for a man, the Original Poster (OP) realized that her boyfriend was not who she thought he was.
She asked the sub:
The OP had to use the restroom while stuck in a traffic jam.
"My (26 Female) boyfriend (25 Male) and I got stuck in an insane traffic jam. My boyfriend was driving."
"We were at a standstill. Found out later on, they had closed the highway."
"I had to pee really bad, like bad bad bad. I saw that a couple guys had run to the side of the road to pee, and I decided to do the same."
"It was super open, with a few bushes by the side of the road, really not much cover."
The OP's boyfriend became uncomfortable when he realized she had a pee-to-stand device.
"I have a stand-to-pee device in my car, but when I grabbed it, my boyfriend got all weird."
"He said people would see me pee standing up and think I was Trans."
"I said no one would think that, plenty of women have pee funnels, and that also I didn't care. I have no beef with Trans people!"
"He said I should squat, just to put his mind at ease."
"I said I didn't want to get my butt and c**ch out on the highway in front of everyone, or get pee on my shoes, and I just wanted to be quick and clean."
"He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans and that I should squat, like GIRLS do."
The OP decided she was over it.
"I was dying by this point. I couldn't hold it anymore, and I really didn't want to show the world my butt, so I ran to the side of the road and slipped the device into my jeans and just peed standing up with my back to traffic."
"No one could see anything; it just slides through the zipper. But I guess maybe if someone was looking, they would be confused? But also, who's LOOKING?!"
"When I got back to the car, my boyfriend wouldn't talk to me. He says I disrespected his feelings. But it was 100% an emergency, and I don't get what his problem was."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that there was nothing wrong with using the restroom how she wanted.
"OP, don't think for one more second about this. Your boyfriend is being ridiculous."
"As if you will ever see any of those people again! Plus, holding it in for too long can cause a whole host of issues."
"It's actually genius that you have something like that in your car, just in case. I'm going to order one too now! NTA." - m_alice88
"'Honey, please show all these strangers your c**ch and a** so they know I'm not gay, mmmm'kay?'"
"A weak man, a very weak man." - lefteyedcrow
"You must have a she-wee! Those are so great for women."
"Tell your boyfriend to get over himself. You had to pee. He does not understand that squatting can suck and leave you exposed."
"If he is that upset you did this, rethink this relationship. I would find it hysterical."
"NTA." - Oktodayithink
"NTA, OP. You just needed a makeshift restroom."
"Your boyfriend apparently thought that it was normal for people to stare at strangers who are trying to pee to evaluate who they are, who they're with, and what the status of their relationship is."
"You know, to pass the time while in gridlock traffic." - Pixichixi
"You did nothing wrong, OP! When you have to go, you have to go. It's healthier to go."
"And don't apologize! We're so wired to reduce conflict, even to the point of downplaying how we feel to keep the peace or end the silence. Don't do it."
"It's a him issue. He thinks his feelings on this are more important than your discomfort about showing your naked body on the side of the road. If he can't figure that out for himself and apologize, it would be a dealbreaker for me." - lelawes
Others agreed and pointed out that the ex-boyfriend was very transphobic.
"NTA. Your boyfriend is clearly transphobic. That is 100% on him. And who cares if people think you are Trans?"
"'He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans.' And you don't want people to think you're dating someone bigoted and hateful." - GreekAmericanDom
"He may not consider himself transphobic ('I don't hate Trans people! I just don't want to be associated with them or have anyone think I'm with a Trans person!'), but he absolutely is, probably with a healthy side helping of homophobia."
"Why would he care, unless a) Trans women are not women in his eyes, or b) it somehow would be emasculating or embarrassing to his ego to be with a Trans woman."
"Also, you're in a traffic jam. Who the f**k is even watching close enough to care, and who of those people matters enough to give two s**ts about what they think."
"Not to mention, he's being weirdly controlling about your behaviors and how they reflect on him in a scenario where arguably he's never going to interact with a single person he's worrying about." - maladicta228
"This post reminds me of the time I got dressed to go to a function. It was a casual gathering. My kid (this was solidly on their father, my ex, as he's gotten insanely bigoted as he's aged) said, 'Mom, you're dressed like a Lesbian.'"
"Me: 'Lesbians have great fashion sense, I'd love to be mistaken for one.'"
"They paused for a second and realized that I truly wasn't dressing for men (despite it being my husband's work function), and that being seen as a lesbian was a good thing. I'm so glad I raised them to think for themselves, and realize that one can be wrong, admit it, and work on being a better person every day. They've never said anything like that since." - baconbitsy
"He's so insecure (and transphobic) that he cares more about what some strangers in a traffic jam might wrongly assume about you (and thereby him) than YOUR needs, comfort, and health."
"He expected you to prioritize his insecurities (feelings) above that and then punished you when you prioritized your health."
"You sure you want to be with someone like that?? NTA." - molotovmerkin
"Your boyfriend is so transphobic that he wants you to expose your genitalia on the side of the road to prove that you're not a Trans woman because he can't stand the idea of a total stranger, in a neighboring car, whom he will never speak to or see ever again, thinking he MIGHT be SHARING A CAR (because the strangers in other cars have no idea that you're dating) with a Trans woman."
"You're NTA, but get a better boyfriend." - HighCsummer
"Literally, you have to be super transphobic to think people in traffic are gonna judge you if your girlfriend is standing to pee. Like come onnnnnn, this is some insane insecurity." - Responsible-Pickle-2
Some pointed out that not only was the ex-boyfriend transphobic, but also controlling.
"This won't be the last time he expects OP to sacrifice things or make her life worse so that she can conform to his ideal of feminine stereotypes and keep up appearances for his fragile masculine ego."
"And that he gave her the silent treatment for not obliging his transphobia and misogyny disguised as 'feelings' is also problematic." - blancamystiere
"He's insecure and transphobic. He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort."
"NTA, and honestly, you can do better than this specimen." - PetersMapProject
"NTA. Your boyfriend would have preferred for everyone to see your a** and vagina than have a random stranger think his girlfriend is Trans. He would rather you expose yourself for his personal gain."
"Get a better boyfriend." - Amaze-balls-trippen
"The transphobia? The insecurity? And the silent treatment when he doesn't get his way?"
"So many red flags!" - CarolynDesign
"He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort and safety."
"He would rather you invite unwanted attention and risk by exposing your private parts to the world than have people think he (who most of the onlookers couldn't even see) might be dating a Trans person."
"NTA. OP, he's too insecure, self-centered, and immature to be a good partner to you, given that he's willing to compromise your safety to avoid a single twinge of discomfort. Dump him." - Hari_om_tat_sat
After receiving feedback, the OP was reassured and shared some positive updates.
"UPDATE: Thank you, everyone, for helping me feel sane again!"
"I got quite a few questions about which device I use, and honestly, it's about what fits you best. There are a ton of options. It's what fits you. Check out pStyle, Freshette, and EllaPee."
"I tried peeing standing up in a toilet, and it worked fine. I think my aim was pretty good, but then I saw little droplets on the floor. No thanks, don't need that. Also, it's loud? Awkward."
"But for the outside, it's pretty fun! I drive a lot, that's why it was in my car. Lifesaver."
"Also, I guess in this case it brought out an ugly side of my (ex) boyfriend and clarified some stuff for me. A winner all around."
"And to all the commenters asking, YES, he is an ex-boyfriend now."
"And yes, there were other red flags."
"Ditched the man, kept the pee funnel. Gonna laugh at him every time I pee standing up."
There's no way to imagine just how awkward the rest of the car ride was after using the restroom and returning to the now-silent and very entitled boyfriend, still stuck in a traffic jam.
But fortunately for the OP, she learned something vital about her relationship during a moment that should have been a total non-issue.
By being concerned about this and expecting the OP to prioritize her ex's pride over her comfort, safety, and cleanliness, her ex told her everything she needed to know.