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Mom Called Out For Refusing To Let Aspiring Baker Sister Make A Cake For Her Son’s Birthday

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One would think having a baker in the family with her own business would be a nice benefit.

Unfortunately, that was not the case for this family.

Redditor Subject_Doubt_9132 is a mother with an aspiring baker for a sister.

When they recently clashed over an upcoming event, she visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for not letting my sister make my son’s birthday cake?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained what makes her sister’s cakes so undesireable.

“My sister is an aspiring professional baker. She set up a FB business for it in 2018 and so far has not been able to build up much of a client/customer base.”

“Part of the reason for this is she isn’t the best decorator out there, and sometimes she is downright bad.”

“Before setting up, back in 2017, she did taste and feedback tests with the family. She told us she wanted to know if/where she needed to improve and all that stuff. Cool.”

“A couple of people told her she was great and that she should open her business because she’d be great. The rest of us; me. dad, older brother, youngest sister and my husband all mentioned how she needed to lay off on the sugar a bit (because holy freaking hell was she poisoning those cakes) and we mentioned she would need to refine her skills with the decorating side.”

“She asked for specifics and we gave them. Especially on the kids designs because they were downright terrifying for kids (tested on some of our kids).”

“She didn’t take it on board though, except for the sugar. She told us at the time we had overreacted to the designs and we’d see.”

“My sister has five reviews on her profile. Three of them are 1 star with the same feedback we gave about the appearance of the cakes. One woman had her two year old cry when they saw the cake and another had her five year old say they were scared of it.”

“The other one was more… angry about it and did not hold back. The other two are three star reviews and say could have been a lot better. It frustrates my sister. She tries to grow but doesn’t listen to feedback.”

“My son is turning 8 this year and it will be his first friend party due to circumstances. My sister asked if she could do the cake. I told her we had already ordered one (which is true).”

“She was hurt I wouldn’t go to her over another baker. She offered to cover the cancellation fee and I turned her down. Then she got mad. Said how can she build her business if family won’t even help her out and give her practice and a portfolio to build.”

“I told her that she should start listening to the feedback she has received instead of pressuring family to become guinea pigs for her inventions.”

“I also suggested she practice without getting an order, because it means she can provide a better quality product without using other peoples money/celebrations to do it.”

“She told me a good, not a d*ck, sister would give her the experience and that it would mean so much more to my son to have a cake made by his loving aunt than some random baker.”

“She has me feeling a bit bad because despite her telling me I’m a d*ck if I don’t, I can see she’s genuinely hurt we don’t like her cakes enough to give her this.”


Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Many Redditors sided with the OP as not the a**hole.

“NTA, your sister does not have a business she has a Facebook pipe dream, after 4 years she needs to face reality that she is not capable of baking for profit.” – highwoodshady

The OP replied:

“I think that’s kinda where my frustration stems. She COULD make it a profitable business/side business, if she put in the work to grow and improve in her weak area (decorating).”

“It has never felt like she has put that work in. She expects to grow as she works but people don’t want to pay for that.”

Redditors continued with their NTA judgments and offered some tips on how the sister could improve her business.

“Your sister is trying to walk before she crawls, she needs to refine her skills no one wants a cake from the one star Facebook baker.” – highwoodshady

“She’ll never make it if she doesn’t listen to criticism. The best businesses are the ones that respond to feedback.”

“She can’t rely on family to prop up her business. I honestly would tell her that until she starts to work on the problems that you and other customers have brought up you won’t be ordering from her because she refuses to grow or learn.”

“She knows her problems and she should be working on her craft by herself, like any good business owner. She needs to invest in herself if she wants to make it.”

“Also what kind of cake can actually scare kids into crying. Almost sounds like she should be on a Halloween baking show. Maybe she can advertise herself as a horror baker lol.” – Logical_Ruse

“Honestly, I have a home-baking cake business , and it is tough, and people have really high expectations. I would suggest she look at cake pages for businesses in your area that she is competing with.”

“And if hers aren’t on the same level as them, she needs to ask herself why. 9 times out of 10 someone will go with crappy tasting grocery store cake over a scratch made sloppy cake.”

“She needs to figure out what type of cake she CAN make well, and not take orders for stuff she cannot do. For example I pretty much refuse to do cakes with drawing or piping characters on them, since I’m sure they come out looking zero like the character. I would rather do fondant cutouts or edible image printouts on gum paste.” – Awnya

“NTA. An 8yo wants a good cake.”

“Her cakes are bad.”

“She can be mad about it, but that’s the truth. Family shouldn’t be treated like a captive customer base.” – Kettlewise

Overall, a majority of Redditors agreed the sister needed to be more receptive to constructive criticism and practice making cakes instead of “winging” it on actual customer orders.

Hopefully, she’ll be more open to rising to the occasion.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo