Often when two people get married, the people around them feel romantic and say things like, “Oh! It’s meant to be!”
But what if the relationship started with infidelity? Would anyone change their tune?
One guy recently struggled with this on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor EstablishmentDue8006 had to watch as one relationship ended and another began because of one boyfriend dating two sisters.
But when he didn’t show avid support, the Original Poster (OP) received pushback.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for refusing to attend my sister’s wedding?”
The OP’s family went through a rough break two years ago.
“My (20) eldest sister Mia (25) has always been the golden child, and my elder sister Ashley (23) is the forgotten middle child.”
“Now two years ago, Ashley’s boyfriend cheated on her with Mia. This caused a drift in our family, which left me and Ashley cutting ties off from Mia.”
“Now in these two years, the majority of the family forgave her and are in contact with her and also have accepted their relationship, whereas I have still not forgiven her, because she caused too much pain to Ashley and I don’t condone infidelity, as well.”
The OP recently received a call from their oldest sister.
“Now yesterday I got a call from Mia, inviting me for her wedding, which is next month, to which I said, ‘I won’t be coming but I wish you the best’.”
“To which she got mad and asked the reason, so I reminded her that the person she is marrying is my sister’s ex whom you stole from her.”
“She said that it was two years ago and I must forget about it and move forward.”
“I didn’t want any further conversation, so I just hung up.”
Since then, the family has been pressuring the OP.
“Later my dad called me and told me that Mia called him crying and told him what had happened. He told me to let go of things and I should be present on her important day because I am her only brother. Again I hung up on him.”
“Now since yesterday, my phone has been blowing up from my parents and other family members because of it.”
“So Reddit, AITA?”
The OP also added a few more details after posting:
“Ashley said that she won’t mind if I go but I know she felt a sense of relief when I told her what had happened and I think I am the only one on Ashley’s side.”
“Growing up I was treated a bit better than Ashley since I am their only son but not as close to Mia, she was everyone’s princess.”
“From what I have known Mia never reached out and apologized to Ashley. Also, she didn’t even invite Ashley.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some appreciated the OP supporting his sister, Ashley.
“NTA…Mia did a shitty thing and doubled down by marrying the guy she stole from….HER SISTER. Good on you for sticking to your guns, I’m sure Ashley appreciates it.” – mmhmm_say-less
“I have read too, too many posts where the OP was told that X amount of time has passed so they should “just get over” some horrible breach of common decency. Hard pass. NTA.” – Fredredphooey
“And this ‘you should move on’ nonsense is bull. Mia hasn’t moved on or Ashley would have been invited to the wedding. There is no way that the OP could go without betraying Ashley, and leaving her totally isolated.” – squirrelfoot
“NTA, OP, and can I just say how happy it makes me that you are supportive of Ashley?”
“The majority of my family has become VERY close with my sociopath ex who abused me for years and sent me into an extreme suicidal depression. It’s something that deeply hurts me, that feeling of betrayal by basically my entire family. It is an AWFUL feeling.”
“I would imagine your sister feels the exact same way, so good on you for sticking by her side no matter what. Brother of the year award” – uhimamouseduh
A few even suggested the two doing something fun together on the big day.
“OP and Ashley should do something fun on the day.” – Adept_Neck_3178
“Do something fun together and post all about on social media” – AmazingSatisfaction5
“Don’t do fun things FOR spite, no, but doing wholesome and fun things tends to create spite ammunition regardless.”
“They’re only 20 and 23. They have a lifetime to be poised and take the high road with their chosen family, whereas posting the spite now will let them know now who needs to be cut off now. The schadenfreude that comes with it is just gravy.” – Elesia
Others wasted no time and shared their negative takes of eldest sister, Mia.
“It is more likely that Mia will cheat and then whine when he breaks up with her for it. She sounds super spoiled so it wouldn’t be a stretch.” – Eira_Bliss
“I think it’s worse/more heartless to do that to your little sister than your girlfriend. They’re both awful but I see Mia as much crueler & more likely to be cruel again, because once you’ve hurt your sister so selfishly, there’s not much you could do that is worse to the people you ‘love’.”
“Honestly, if this happened to me I’d be much more heartbroken by it being my sister than by my boyfriend cheating on me and leaving me.” – appleandwatermelon
“The fact that she didn’t invite Ashley to the wedding shows that she knows everything isn’t alright yet.”
“NTA” – Fraerie
“Mia and your parents suck for their behavior. Your parents favored Mia and she grew into a crappy person. They’re also being crappy by rug sweeping Mia’s horrid betrayal and acting like everything is fine and you should go to the wedding!”
“Stay far far away from your parents and Mia.” – Here_for_tea_
Though time has passed and people make mistakes, the subReddit was clear on this one: there are enough people already supporting Mia. Ashley having someone like the OP to support her, especially during this wedding season, is totally valid.