When people split up after having a child, their lives often remained intertwined for the long haul.
If everybody is civil, it can still function smoothly.
But what if other factors come in to make things difficult even when the two parents have managed to figure it out?
That was the case outlined by a recent post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP), known as Main_Promise1566 on the site, highlighted some of the key moving parts right in the title.
“AITA for saying, I’ll see you there, to my ex’s aunt telling me I’m going to hell?”
OP first gave a brief sketch of the aunt in question.
“My ex’s aunt and uncle help my ex care for our child on his time.”
“Aunt is deeply, fundie religious and loves to preach to anyone and tell non-religious people they are going to hell if they don’t find salvation and get to praying.”
One thing put OP on slight alert.
“I’m not religious but I don’t care if others are.”
“Aunt had been telling my child that mommy is going to hell and will never go to heaven because I don’t go to church and pray like she does.”
But then things moved far beyond “slight.”
“I had mostly brushed that off and told my child that mommy will be ok. (My ex is atheist and I doubt she says the same about him)”
“Ex’s aunt has now started saying it to my face that I’m going to hell.”
OP was locked and loaded with exactly what to say.
“I was feeling cheeky so I gave her my best smile and said, wonderful, I’ll see you there!”
“Obviously the aunt found this to be incredibly disrespectful and offensive as she has dedicated her life to the church. AITA?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors were completely on OP’s side. “NTA.. She mouths off towards you, she should expect an equal return. It’s always humorous when someone continues to do so and when they get a response they are offended.”
If it were me, I’d show up with the windows down and blasting AC/DC’s ‘Hell Ain’t A Bad Place To Be’ or ‘Highway to Hell.’ ” — RabbitOfCaerbonnog
“NTA. That’s the comeback people dream of weeks after and argument. She is trying to hurt you here and scare your child, something I’d say most religions won’t approve, especially as it is towards you not being religious. Her actions matter here.” — Novel_Ad_7318
“NTA If your child is old enough to understand any of this religious talk and is confused, please be sure to explain that heaven and hell are made-up places invented long ago as a way to help control the behavior of poor, uneducated people.”
“Tell them you don’t believe this fairy tale and instead know that it is important to be your best self on earth, because this is all there is.” — Allimack
Some even came from a religious background themselves.
“I was raised hard core Catholic. As I got older and was working, I started noticing people in church that I knew were cheating on their spouses, people who thought nothing of stealing, men who made horrible comments about very young girls and others that hit on every female they could.”
“I saw people in church that I know abused their kids. Yet all of them got up and went to communion. If they went to confession and told those sins, they were still doing them. But when a priest gives a sermon about how we should shun homosexuals, that was it for me. Lots of sinners in church and I guess that’s where they should be.”
“Your husband’s aunt is not the final say on who goes where. You are 100% correct in your remark to her. God didn’t die and leave her as God. A big fu** you to her is what she needs to hear for scaring your child. NTA” — mrshellcat2u
“NTA. She can suck a lemon. Aunt is the one being disrespectful, not just to you, but to your child and to God. (I’m a secular humanist, but I do remember that whole ‘Judge not lest ye be judged yourself’ thing.”
“Even Metallica used it for a their song ‘Holier than Thou.’ Is she saying she can do God’s job better than God? Pretty sure He doesn’t need her help. )”
“If she’s saying this crap around your son, it’s time to revisit the custodial agreement. Or have a serious talk with your ex, because this could lead to some parental alienation if it continues. Kids are too impressionable for us to put up with this BS and let it go.”
“It sounds like you’ve been handling it well, but do you want your kid exposed to ‘Jesus died on the cross for YOUR SINS’ at an early age?”
“I think it’s the guilt trip of all guilt trips– no disrespect for those who are raising their Christian family with loving lessons and saving the hardcore stuff for when they are older– that sort of rhetoric can cause fear and anxiety in some children. You know yours best.” — pdxflwerpwer
A few even advocated for more serious responses.
“NTA and I would be going to court to make sure auntie doesn’t have charge of your child in the future. Dad’s time with the kid doesn’t mean shuffle them off to a verbally abusive relative. Her words won’t hurt you but they will terrify your child.” — BBMcBeadle
“NTA No one should be badmouthing you and your side of the family to your child. No one. If you have a custody agreement, see about getting that added, if it hasn’t been already.”
“Also, make sure they’ve taken and passed child/juvenile CPR and first aid courses. You should def defend yourself and assure your kid that you’re not going to hell and that she has different beliefs.” — LoveBeach8
OP, with the help of Reddit, can rest easy knowing her snarky comeback was in its place.