Our first college roommate is truly luck of the draw.
For all we know, it might be someone who will remain our greatest friend for the rest of our lives.
More often, it might be someone we can’t wait to say goodbye to at the end of the year.
In some cases, a roommate situation might be so bad that they might not even make it through one year together.
Redditor CaptainMacAlfie thought they were getting along fine with their college roommate.
Until, somewhat abruptly, the original poster (OP)’s roommate announced she was no longer comfortable living with them.
Unluckily for them, the OP was less than willing to oblige; the more they learned about why their roommate wanted them out.
Wondering if they were being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“WIBTA if I refused to move out of my dorm room after my roommate had a dream that made her uncomfortable to be in the room with me?”
The OP explained why their roommate wanted them out, but they wouldn’t budge:
“I’m currently in college dorms, only a couple weeks into the semester, and I share my dorm room with one other person.”
“We’ve been getting along great so far and haven’t clashed at all, but last week she abruptly stopped staying in our room, and I’ve barely seen her the last few days, so I knew something was up.”
“A couple of days ago, she asked to talk and said she had a dream that’s made her uncomfortable to be in the room with me, so she put herself on the wait-list for a single room, but now she’s asking me to take that room and to let her stay in the room we’ve been in.”
“I told her yes, but we’re still waiting on confirmation that a room will even be available, and I’m now starting to feel off about having to switch rooms.”
“She also brought up her religion in the same conversation, which is just rubbing me the wrong way since I’m starting to think she is making the whole dream thing up and just didn’t like that I’m not religious.”
“I dabble in tarot so have a tarot deck on my desk and I listen to metal music so I’m slowly starting to think that she may just be assuming I’m some crazy antichrist or something since it just seems to odd that she’s saying she had a dream that effected her so deeply and that she’d also randomly feel the need to bring up her religion.”
“Now I just feel like it’s not her place to tell me to move to a different room if she’s the one who’s uncomfortable.”
“It’s not even actually moving rooms that’s bothering me, it’s just the principle of it that it almost feels as if she’s making it a punishment for me, like I need to leave the room for making her uncomfortable or something.”
“I’ve done nothing intentionally to her to make her uncomfortable, and if I did something on accident, I’d expect her to bring it up and mention it made her uncomfortable, so I’d know not to do that.”
“I know I am still worked up right now and not thinking the most rationally, which is why I’m making a post asking for others’ opinions and waiting to talk to her about it until I feel like I’ve calmed down.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community stood behind the OP, agreeing that she was not the a**hole for refusing to move out of her dorm.
Everyone agreed that the OP was correct in feeling that if it was their roommate’s dreams that were the source of the problem, then she should be the one who moves out.
“Not on you to move because she had a dream.”
“It’s on her to move if she feels uncomfortable through no fault of yours.”
“I am also suspicious that this dream might be a fabrication to get you out of the room.”
“If one of you moves out, will the other be left alone with a spacious double room?”
“Perhaps that’s what she’s after.”
“NTA.”
“Don’t let her force you out, unless the single room is the better option.”- sublime_369
“You’re right, if she’s uncomfortable, she should be the one who has to move.”
“It’s crazy that she’s judging you for not being religious while simultaneously using a dream she had (did God send her a warning about you?) to be a reason she’s uncomfortable with you.”
“NTA.”- CaliforniaJade
“NTA.”
“It was a DREAM she had.”
“Not real life.”
“Your roommate needs to get over it.”
“You aren’t in the wrong.”
“I even insist that YOU stay in the room cause she is the one with the made-up issue.”-Different_Ticket9904
“NTA.”
“Tell her you’ve reconsidered, and since she’s the one who has manufactured an issue with her dream, she is the one who should go.”
“She has some nerve to want you to go to a single room while she’d get the extra space of remaining in a double.”
“When she is literally the source of the problem in the first place.”
“Ignore her and live your life and enjoy your school year.”- WhatInTheAssPepper
“NTA.”
“You absolutely should not be entertaining the idea of being the one to move out.”
“Whether this is due to a dream or her not liking your religious beliefs or lack thereof, or some other thing, they are her problem.”
“If anyone is going to be moving out it should be her. I’d get ahead of this and talk to an RA or your equivalent.”
“You might want to make sure you have anything really important in a lock box.”- No-Assignment5538
“NTA.”
“If you don’t want to move, don’t.”
“You aren’t the one that has the issue.”
“Are you sure you want to pass up a single room, though?”
“Yes, it would be a hassle to move, but think of the peace and quiet.”- Donutsmell
“NTA.”
“College is a great place for her to learn that the world doesn’t revolve around her.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”- cydril
“Omg.”
“No.”
“Tell her to move out.”
“This is her nonsense made up problem.”
“NTA.”- lkvwfurry
“NTA.”
“You don’t have to move out over a dream she had.”
“If her own dream made her that uncomfortable or even if she’s making it up because she doesn’t like things you do, she can move out.”
“This is her problem, not yours.”- Stranger0nReddit
“NTA.”
“It’s on her to move out.”- JurassicParkFood
“NTA.”
“Tell her you’ve consulted the cards and spoken with the spirits and they’ve unanimously declared you need to stay in that room.”- Dependent_Title_1370
“NTA.”
“F*ck that, that’s a her problem, let her move.”- PraxicalExperience
“NTA.”
“If she’s uncomfortable she should move.”- goldbunnybrain
“NTA.”
“Roommate can move out.”
‘She wants a double to herself while you get the single and she tells friends you are weird or unsafe etc ( whatever narrative she supplies).”- witchspoon
“NTA.”
“But I would probably move into a single room because the next one maybe worse than this one.”
“I wouldn’t let it bother you though she is the one with issues not you.”- Aggressive_goats
“NTA.”
“Aside from the fact thar she’s the one with the issue, so she should be the one to move, there’s the financial issue as well.”
“Most colleges charge quite a bit more for a single room – often several thousand more.”
“Are you wanting to pay that, or in a financial position to pay that, because someone you met 2 weeks ago decided they aren’t comfortable?”
“And, for what it’s worth, I’m saying this as a Christian whose Christian husband – and several others I know, including at least one Pastor – all like metal.”
“Your beliefs are just that – your own, and you are just as entitled to them as she is hers.”
“What she isn’t entitled to do is force you to relocate and or pay more because she isn’t comfortable with others having different beliefs.”
“If it was that big an issue, she should have selected a Christian College.”
“Lord knows there’s plenty to choose from.”- justanotheropinion72
“NTA.”
“It’s on her to leave if she’s uncomfortable.”
“However, I would highly consider the single dorm.”
“Having no roommate is pretty peaceful for studying.”- FisherManAz
“NTA.”
“You’re not responsible for her dreams.”
“If she wants to act on them, that’s on her.”
“I’m guessing the single room has a higher cost, that’s why she wants you to move there.”
“You can, if you want to and can afford it.”- OldGeekWeirdo
Some dreams feel so real that it can be genuinely hard to shake them in the real world.
Even so, as it was the OP’s roommate who was struggling to process her dream in reality, and since she was the one who made the room request, it seems only right that she should be the one who moves out.
The only question is, what will happen if these dreams continue when she’s living by herself?