The world would be a much happier place if everyone had complete control of their emotions at all times.
Sadly, we know all too well that that isn’t the case.
As a result, we often lose control of our emotions, particularly our tempers, at many inopportune moments.
Embarrassing ourselves, and those we are with, in the process.
The wife of Redditor throwra37736 had more trouble than many others controlling her temper.
So much so that the original poster (OP) was even starting to get used to it.
Until, that is, she came to his place of work to further unleash her frustrations, swiftly putting the OP’s job and marriage in jeopardy.
Wondering if he handled the situation as well as he could have, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for watching and not doing anything while my wife was being kicked out of my company?”
The OP explained how when his wife accosted him at work, his wife’s fury only grew owing to the way he handled the situation.
“So my wife, (26 F[emale]) and I, (33 M[ale]) been married for 2 years.”
‘I admit that she is a hothead and can be a bit much especially when she’s mad at me.”
“I take responsibility for any mistake I make, like not cleaning the bathroom after the shower or filling her car with gas after using it.”
“I even stand there and let her unload her anger and frustration on me, BUT only at home and not in public.”
“She tends to start arguing with me in public instead of waiting til we get home.”
“Recently she’s been coming to my workplace to berate me over something I did the night before like not getting the stuff I said I would get or doing the stuff I said I would do.”
“It’s embarrassing and humiliating, and has been affecting my job to the point where I started getting a warning after a warning from my superiors who, I believe, have been very patient and understanding.”
“Especially when my wife makes a fuss at the office.”
“Last week I was in the middle of a 2 hour meeting, and next thing I knew I was seeing my wife barge in while yelling at me, asking why I was keeping my phone turned off.”
“I had to turn it off after getting warnings about it since she forbid me from turning it off.”
“I was stunned, because my superior and co workers AND potential clients were there.”
“I didn’t even move my superior dealt with it and called security to get her out.”
“My wide started arguing with him telling him she came for me then started urging me to get off my seat and tell them to back off.”
“But I didn’t I just watched as security escorted her out.”
“It was horrible because I had a fear that my job was lost.”
“She yelled at me repeatedly to get them to stop but she got kicked out eventually.”
“I got told she’s no longer allowed there and that this was going to be my final, last warning.”
“I apologized then went home.”
“She was there waiting then yelled about me watching and doing nothing whole she was getting mistreated and kicked out.”
“I finally snapped and said she was over the line, made a scene that risked my job over few missed calls.”
“She started crying saying I still should’ve defended her after getting humiliated in front of my co-workers, but told her she didn’t have to worry about it because she’s no longer allowed there.”
“She got more furious and went to her mom’s to stay there.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for not interfering when security escorted his wife from his office.
Everyone agreed that the behavior of the OP’s wife was not only out of line, but manipulative and abusive, with several openly urging the OP to seriously consider if remaining in this marriage was a good idea.
“NTA.”
“This is a form of abuse and I would take this with a strong understanding that things are getting worse.”
“You never show up to a spouses place of work like that.”- Obvious-Result6853
“NTA.”
“And this is 100% divorce-worthy.”- KrtekJim
“NTA your wife is abusive.”
“You need to get away from her and get counseling.”- Aunty-Sociale
“See a lawyer.”
“You are married to an abusive manipulative monster.”
“She has no concept of acceptable behavior.”
“What kind of face does she have to show herself in public behaving like this?”
“You are 110% right.”
“NTA.”- BeeYehWoo
“Your wife isn’t a ‘hot head’, she’s abusive.”
“She’s going to violate that ban and get you fired.”
“You need to get out, these things only escalate.”
“NTA x1000.”- IAmHerdingCatz
“NTA.”
“Please contact your HR department and ask for help because you are in an abusive relationship and it is a common tactic among abusers to cause job loss as a method of destabilizing their partner.”
“She isn’t just a hot head, she is controlling and aggressively monitoring your behavior, flying off the handle when you are not reachable 24/7.”
“This kind of behavior only escalates.”
“Your coworkers and your superiors have seen her raging abuse and control, I know they’re frustrated with her disruptions but if this were a man barging into his wife’s office to berate her, they’d be much more concerned.”
“You need to take this wake up call.”
“There is no planet where someone this unhinged does not become violent.”
“Please be safe and find a way to protect yourself.”
“I am glad she left.”
“Sort this out and get the f*ck out.”- wildferalfun
“NTA.”
“Let her stay at her mom’s while you work on getting divorce papers served.”-Comprehensive_Meat57
“NTA.”
“You need to leave this woman, she is abusive to you.”
“Get out now before it progresses further.”- Solaris_0706
“NTA.”
“What the hell, she’s abusive and manipulative, ask her to get some serious help.”
“Why are you still with her?”
“She is clearly not okay?”
“Oh so it’s okay when she humiliates you but not the other way around?”
“The double standards, ditch the woman.”- Mountain-History5848
“NTA.”
“Run away, she’s abusive and toxic.”
“You may love her, but I think you deserve better.”- UchihaSasuke79
“NTA, but my dude, you’re being abused.”
“Your wife is abusive and controlling.”
“You’re acting like this behavior is normal, and on you to manage and mollify.”
“Maybe your parents were the same way, and you grew up learning that people who claim to love you yell, berate, embarrass and shame you.”
“Also, DARVO.”
“Deny: ‘I’m not a bad person for coming to your office and making a scene’.”
“Attack: ‘you deserve to be yelled at and berated for not putting the toothpaste cap back on or whatever’.”
“Reverse victim and offender: ‘YOU should have defended ME when I got in trouble for showing up at your work, again, and causing such a huge scene that security was called. This is all YOUR fault’.”
“My dude, you need to seriously and honestly divorce this woman, then get into therapy and get right with yourself.”
“Nobody should be accepting behavior like you’ve described, let alone making excuses for it.”-Cent1234
“NTA if my husband acted like that he’d get one chance to get some professional help.”
“Then he would get hit with a restraining order and divorce papers.”- CommunicationOdd9406
“NTA divorce her now!”- Julia070000
“My friend, you really need to learn the signs of abuse.”
“NTA.”- attack-ninja
“NTA.”
“You are in an abusive relationship, full stop.”
“This raging at you has got to stop.”
“Nobody should have to go through that, especially at work of all places.”
“The fact that she can’t understand on her own that this is wildly inappropriate behavior is red flag territory.”
“Consider your next moves carefully, think of your self-worth and safety.”- sugarintheboots
“NTA.”
“Why are you still with her?”
“Even 5 year olds are better behaved than her, no shade to kids.”
“Btw, your supervisors are extremely patient.”
“I don’t know which universe your wife is living in.”
“P.S. It’s common decency to not use your phone at work.”
“We leave our phones in our drawers for meetings.”
“How can she not know this?”
“She is 26!”- love_cars_more
“NTA.”
“And you should lawyer up & get a therapist.”
“She is abusing you.”- Responsible_Judge007
“NTA.”
“You are an abused husband.”
“If you do not have kids, you should cut her loose.”
“In fact, you could change the house locks right now.”
“This would help your ability to keep the house during the divorce.”
“Your divorce papers should be served with a restraining order.”- GoonyGooGoo42
We’ve all lost our temper over small, menial things every so often.
But the way the OP’s wife seems to regularly yell at him is disconcerting to say the least.
What’s more, it’s genuinely baffling to even consider what she hoped to accomplish by attacking him at his place of work.
Regardless of what the OP decides to do regarding his marriage, one can only hope his wife gets the help she seems to need.