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Single Dad Livid After Son’s Teacher Tells Reporter About His Surrogacy Without His Permission

A dad walks away form the camera with his twos sons
Rebecca Nelson/Getty Images

Some people just can’t help but get into other people’s business.

But what can be more worrisome than a basic nosy person is knowledge that they acquire personal information.

Case in point…

Redditor Low_Baker_1898 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for cussing at a teacher after she gave my information to a reporter?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I’m one of the few but growing number of single men who foregone marriage and became a dad on my own.”

“In my case, I used a surrogate three times, so I have three boys between the ages of 5 and 10.”

“When they started school and started to make friends, I did tell a few parents because they wanted to know more about me before letting their kids spend time with my kids.”

“Most were intrigued for a few minutes.”

“That went away once they realized how normal we are.”

“I’m neither an advocate nor opponent of single-parent surrogacy.”

“I did what worked for me.”

“I also don’t promote it the same way people promote their personal lives for clout.”

“In fact, I haven’t told anybody about it in years.”

“That brings me to my son’s 2nd-grade teacher, Mrs. F.”

“I got a random call from a reporter asking to interview me for a magazine piece on men resorting to surrogacy to have kids.”

“I thought it was a joke, but he had all sorts of information, including the names of my kids and what I did for work.”

“I asked how he got my information and he said from Mrs. F, who is a friend of his.”

“In fact, she gave him my number.”

“I was pissed.”

“The next day, I told Mrs. F about the call, and she said it would be so exciting to be in a magazine and online.”

“I asked why the f**k did she put my personal life out there.”

“That’s a total betrayal.”

“She said she didn’t know I’d be that upset and simply thought that I’d be open to it.”

“I told her that I didn’t tell her my business let alone give her permission to spread it.”

“She didn’t say anything, so I called her a f**king moron who needs to grow the f**k up.”

“She probably thought I’d complain to the principal, but that’s not my style.”

“I will tell you stuff to your face.”

“Now the V[ice] P[rincipal] is acting like an intermediary between us after she said I cussed her out.”

“He did say that I was out of line, but she was even more way out of line.”

“He asked me to be understanding because she’s young and lives online.”

“I told him that he’s just mad that he actually has to do some work now, and the funny part is that I’m not even mad at her anymore.”

“I don’t like her, but it’s not like she matters in a few months.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA, the VP needs not to be making excuses for her. What she did was disrespectful, rude, and unethical.”

“You do NOT give out other people’s personal info without their permission!”

“If she wanted to give her friend a lead, she could have said, ‘Hey, I know a single dad who might be a good fit. Let me ask him if he’d like to talk to you’ and THAT’S IT.”

“Nothing about your contact info, life, and ESPECIALLY NOTHING ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN!” ~ pinebonsai

“She absolutely violated F[amily] E[ducational] R[ights] and P[rivacy] A[ct] if they’re in the states.”

“Names, phone numbers, and family structure are all protected under FERPA.”  ~ Librarianni

“Wouldn’t it be the principal’s responsibility to teach the staff about FERPA?”

“He could be in serious trouble too. Imagine if you said to the teacher, ‘You violated FERPA,’ and she said, ‘What’s FERPA?'”

“NTA, but I would bring this to the attention of higher-ups if I were the OP.”  ~ FitOrFat-1999

“OP, NTA, but I suggest you follow up on privacy laws because you can’t get a bigger privacy violation than giving out your children’s names and family phone numbers to a freaking reporter.”

“What if that reporter did his article just using data and then mentioned you and your kid’s names and the school they attend?”

“If you are in the US, it’s even more dangerous.”

“We in the US sadly have more than our fair share of terrifying hate groups that want to control everyone else’s choices.”

“The worst of those resort to harassment or actual violence.”

“That teacher should be severely disciplined.”

“What’s next?”

“Her giving out names and personal information about gay or immigrant families?”

“Gay or non-binary kids?”

“You are being far too forgiving because this teacher complained to her boss because you DARED to be upset with her violation of your children’s privacy.”

“What other rules is she violating?”  ~ Capt-Sylvia-Killy

“THIS. OP, you have to report this and take this higher up.”

“Call the superintendent, go to a school board meeting, whatever you have to do to get their attention.”

“What she is doing is dangerous and illegal and puts you and your family at risk, not to mention potentially other families who she and her reporter friend might find ‘interesting.'”

“This is such a violation of your and your family’s privacy. I would have cussed her out too (not that that’s what you really did).” ~ staying-late91

“It’s a serious violation.”

“There is soo much protection on what school can give about children.”

“I had asked for a list of the kid’s names for a Christmas Cards thing my little sister wanted to do.”

“They were not allowed to give it because it was sensitive data.”

“I can not imagine how many were broken to give not only their names but also the parent’s contact info and his occupation.”  ~ Key-Tie2214

“There’s also a moral duty here.”

“As a teacher, she is supposed to protect her students, not give out their personal info to any random stranger.”

“Hell, anyone can claim to be a ‘journalist.'”

“You don’t know if the person asking is telling the truth. This could easily be a predator of some sort.”

“She just cares about getting online clout, and who cares if her students are safe? 100% NTA.”  ~ Derek_Kent

“As a former journalist, I couldn’t agree with you more.”

“I have interviewed a lot of people about their lives, and also children.”

“Sometimes people came to me and said, ‘I know someone you could interview.'”

“And I then gave my number to that person and asked them if they would be okay with asking the other person if I could interview them.”

“Always said they are free to call for more information (without having to worry anything will be published immediately).”

“If not, that would also be fine.”

“I would never ask somebody to give them the number of the other person unless it was already cleared upfront and that person knew about it and wanted me to call.”

“I have also given numbers of people to others.”

“But with any personal information, you always have to ask the owner of the information if it’s okay.”

“Especially when there is a special relationship like a teacher-parent relationship.”  ~ Pollythepony1993

“NTA!!! You need to send this to the school board. Your VP is being extremely passive about this.”

“If someone ever gave my info and my kids’ names to a reporter because they knew something about our life.”

“Let alone my contact info and personal details.”

“Heads would roll.”

“She HAS to understand how big of a deal this is.”

“What happens when she doesn’t learn, and she divulges personal information in an unsafe situation?”

“We actually pulled my youngest from his pre-school because his teacher decided it was ok to discuss her opinions on his ‘developmental needs’ (he has none, but he was the only darker skinned kid in a white school) to me, in detail in FRONT of other parents and my son.”

“Take this seriously. You’re in no way going overboard by doing so.”

“This teacher is young, and she’s going to need to learn a hard lesson in LEGAL confidentiality.”

“The school and she personally are going to be a lawsuit waiting to happen.” ~ mamawheels36

“THIS! I don’t even give out my friend’s contact info without asking first.”

“Even if it’s someone we both know, they might not want that person to have it, and I just don’t know if there’s something going on.”

“NTA. I honestly assumed it was illegal or wrong least a fireable offense, for a teacher to give out information about parents and especially about their students.”  ~ pixiepterodactyls

“Millennials invented living online.”

“This is absurd logic.”

“This is someone who wants to be famous or connected with famous people, and has no understanding that not everyone else wants the same thing.”

“She’s the modern equivalent of the 1950s nosy neighbor who hides in your bushes to overhear personal business to spread around the neighborhood.”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s good news or bad news. It’s your news (life), not hers.”

“And did she ever stop to think about what the consequences of publishing your sons’ personal information online could be?”

“I would be after her job in your shoes!”  ~ Cryptographer_Alone

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

People aren’t allowed to throw out your personal information.

It may be time for a serious chat with the principal.

Do what you’re comfortable with.