There are a lot of unwritten rules to society. For example, if a pregnant person, someone with a disability, or an older person gets on the bus/train you give them your seat.
It’s an act of kindness.
Redditor Hot-Kangaroo1847 encountered this very issue with her sister. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for not giving a disabled man my seat?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (22F) ride the bus to/from work because I don’t have any other modes of transportation. Every few days, I am joined by a man who has some sort of disability.”
“I don’t know specifics, but there’s something wrong with his legs and he walks with a very obvious limp and uses a cane. Sometimes there’s a seat for him, sometimes there’s not.”
“A few days ago, my sister (18F) was with me and the guy came on. All of the seats were full and he had to stay standing. My sister whispered that nobody was giving their seats up and I mention that I had seen him before and how nobody usually offered him a seat.”
OP’s sister was not happy.
“My sister gave me a weird look and said, ‘not even you?’ And I was honest. I had never offered him my seat because I am simply not obligated to help some stranger, and that he could just get a taxi if it hurt him so much to stand.”
“My sister got all pissed off at me but wouldn’t start a scene on the bus so she just stood up and told this guy to go ahead and have her seat. He thanked her and sat down, which put me in an awkward position, sitting next to him. So, I got angry at her and I called her out when we got off at our stop, and she refused to listen and just said that my empathy was really lackluster and that it didn’t matter if I was obligated or not, it was just basic human decency.”
“I really don’t think that I’m such an asshole for not giving this random guy my seat, but she’s angry about it so I guess that something must be wrong.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was the a**hole.
“YTA. its common decency to offer your seat to people who struggle physically. Most buses even have placards indicating this should be done but not all because it’s an unspoken rule.”
“If you don’t have physical issues, you’re the asshole for making someone less able bodied than you stand and try to ride a bus standing up. Why do you need the entire internet to tell you what your sister already told you?”
“Edit: I appreciate the awards, but your money is better spent donating to somewhere it can make a difference such as Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund (dredf.org).” ~ arboreallion
“OP’s lack of common decency baffles me. Talking about obligation, get the hell out of here. Learn some kindness and maybe your sister won’t be embarrassed of you.”
“Then again, they were on a bus filled with a**holes, rather fitting for OP to be there.”
“Your new family and kinship, OP.”
“Who the f*ck raised these people?” ~ tiny_lolita
“This sub FREQUENTLY trots out ‘you don’t have to do nothing for no one!’”
“Not disabled people, not your kids or spouse, no one has the right to make you do anything! You owe literally nothing, not even the most basic ‘be a freakin adult’ tasks.”
“There’s a reason that meta post from the other year was made. OP, as much of a heel as he is, rightfully expected to be lauded here.”
“Because that’s how people here act.” ~ LeatherHog
Some argued Reddit encourages this kind of behaviour.
“Yeah but thing is people usually say someone has no obligation when the person asking for the favor is acting entitled and offended when the one they’ve asked refuses to do something(usually unreasonable).” ~ Creative-Echo-8406
“I’ve actually noticed that often it is something reasonable (like giving up your seat to a disabled person). There are a lot of commenters on here who are actual children who don’t think they ever need to do anything, ever.”
“There are so many threads that boil down to ‘parents owe their children everything, even adult children have no obligation to their family, and if the parents ever struggle with money/childcare then they’re just losers who should never have had kids’.”
“‘I’m an adult who lives rent free with my parents. I work but spend all my money on video games and snacks. Yesterday my mom, who pays all the bills and buys all the groceries, ate some of my skittles so I freaked out on her because THOSE ARE MY SKITTLES.'”
“‘NTA! It sounds like you were raised by narcissists.'”
“‘I’m being raised by a single parent who works 2 jobs and endlessly sacrifices to make ends meet. They need me to watch my siblings after school so they can afford to pay rent and we don’t end up homeless. I told them I refuse to do so unless they can offer me a competitive employment package with benefits, and threatened to call CPS.'”
“‘NTA! Being asked to help keep your siblings alive and safe for a few hours is abuse! Sounds like your mom is a loser who should go back in time and never have kids.'”
“‘My parents won’t cash out their retirement to pay for my aromatherapy degree at Devry university, so I’m never speaking to them again.'”
“‘NTA! They should support your dreams.'”
“‘My parents did cash out their retirement to pay for my degree, and now I make a million dollars a month and they’re struggling to keep the house. They asked me for help and I told them to f*ck off.'”
“‘NTA! You don’t owe anyone anything ever no matter what.'” ~ jeffprobstslover
“That’s the best summary of 70% of all AITA posts I’ve read so far!” ~ em123harvey
“Given that OP’s own sister – younger sister, even – shows common decency, I’m gonna say OP’s AHness is primarily thanks to OP herself.” ~ FeuerroteZora
We all need to be a little kinder.