Everyone has different relationships with social media.
Some use it as an occasional distraction to see what their favorite celebrities are up to, or reconnect with friends from years past.
Others use it far more seriously, documenting practically every waking moment of their life.
Which can sometimes include roping other people into your social network, whether they wanted to be there or not.
Redditor aitatiktoksister was less than thrilled to discover that their older sister posted a story about them on her TikTok account.
A story which hundreds of thousands of people heard, resulting in the original poster (OP) getting a lot of unwanted attention from their friends and loved ones.
After being called out by their sister for asking her to take the video down, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for asking my sister to delete her trending TikTok videos?"
The OP explained how they were hurt and upset when their sister used her social media to share an embarrassing story about themself.
"I really don't know where I fit on this, because I can tend to be a little emotional at times or easily embarrassed over little things."
"I have an older sister (23) who is obsessed with TikTok."
"She has a decent following, around 5k."
"One of her TikTok videos started trending recently and hit around 300k views."
"What this means for this argument is that many people that I know personally have seen this video."
"The video isn't horrible but it's about me."
"It doesn't include my name, face, or identifying details, I'm just labeled 'sister', but it includes personal information about something embarrassing I've done in the past growing up, basically just telling a funny story."
"But I don't think the video is very funny, cause it paints me in a bad light for something I did when I was 6, no mention of age in the video, just 'remembering when my sister did *thing*' on top of a popular audio."
"A bunch of people I know have sent me the video and asked me if it was true, if it was about me, etc."
"They went through her account and found more stories about the 'sister', and sent them to me."
"More embarrassing stories about myself being shared without my knowledge or consent."
"This isn't the first time she's posted about me but this is her first video to go trending."
"I don't use TikTok ever so I don't know how many she's posted, and I never knew she was posting anything about me."
"If I knew earlier I would've gotten mad before too and asked her to delete them."
"So I went up to her and said it was embarrassing for her to post stories about me without telling me, and that I want her to delete the videos about me since I don't want more people to find those videos and hear those stories about me."
"She also has her Instagram linked to her TikTok and I'm in a lot of photos with her, so it's easy to find me on Instagram if anyone wanted to ."
"I don't know if anyone actually would."
"She responded that since my name and personal details aren't in the stories, it's not tied to me and not embarrassing at all."
"And when I told her people found the videos she just said 'you could've said it was fake, nobody would know'."
"I have autism so I find it hard to lie, and it didn't occur to me that I could've lied about it being real."
"She said that she has every right to share those stories and make jokes out of them and it won't matter because people won't remember it anyway."
"She then called me an AH for suggesting she delete all the videos about me, including her trending one since her TikTok was blowing up with new followers."
"I called her an AH for using my embarrassing stories to get clout."
"She then told me to go away and I left it at that."
"She does have a point that most people will forget and that my identity is protected, so I don't know if I really am an AH for asking her to delete these, because she has been trying to grow her TikTok for so long and now she finally is."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP had every right to ask their sister to take down the video, and was not at all the a**hole for doing so.
Everyone agreed that the OP's sister was being incredibly insensitive, particularly considering the OP's medical condition, and should have noticed how much the OP was hurt by the video.
"'Wow!'"
"'Look at this, TikToker making fun of her autistic sister for followers'."
"'Isn't she the best!'"
"This is what you need to comment on her account."- Typical_Golf3922
"NTA."
"Asking permission to tell a joke that could be painful to another person should be common sense."
"Happy that she has her 300k views, but that doesn't put food on the table now, does it?"-bidens_left_ear
"NTA."
"But social media popularity seems to make an AH out of people."
"Seriously. If you need to tell an embarrassing story about your sibling to become more popular, than are YOU actually popular?"- bunnyhopskip
"NTA."
"She’s the identifying information that keeps you from being anonymous in these videos."
"She’s essentially making you the butt of her online jokes."
"It’s out of line."- pineboxwaiting
"NTA."
"She is getting popular partially by bullying and harassing you, that is gross."
"I'd probably be positing a 'sister here, she is making this up for views' under all of the videos where she mentions me, since she said it's ok to say it's fake, and asking her to remove me entirely from her insta."
"I'd be also enriching the comments with embarrassing stories about her, without mentioning her name ofc, just go to her vids and 'her sis here, she pooped her pants once' or something like that."-tatasz
"She is a complete a**hole. submit a case to TikTok to remove any videos which show your face."
"Go to TikTok and submit a 'Copyright Infringement Report'."- FlyingFlipPhone
"NTA."
"She's discussing what a 6 YO autistic child did without letting her audience know you were a tiny disabled kid at the time of the events she's discussing."
"I suspect because she knows it's hard to enjoy someone actively making fun of a disabled child."
"Poetic justice would making TikTok story times about how distressing it is being disabled, having 'sister' make fun of things you did as a 6 YO and how she's justifying embarrassing you, an autistic, to your friends while encouraging you to lie."
"With the same level of anonymity so that it can trickle through her friendship group."
"I'm sure she feels that living with a disabled younger sibling is hard but she should have the cognitive capacity to realize that having a disability is worse and venting in ways that make your life harder is not appropriate behavior."- HannahAnthonia
"NTA."
"They aren’t her stories to share. it seems that she’s she’s using you for clout."
"You have every right to ask for them to be deleted."- PINKR0SEBUDS
"NTA."
"Get your parents involved."
"She has no right to use your stories to promote her sh*tty TikTok."
"She should respect the fact that it makes you uncomfortable and leave you out of her videos."
"But she's probably too boring to get views on her own."- wordsmythy
"NTA."
"She’s not respecting your privacy, she misrepresenting the situation and your identity is obviously not protected."
"I’d do a reaction video with me rolling my eyes going, "Yeah, when I was 6, I got over it, I hope you will someday too", or something along those lines that fits."
"And maybe stop posting about other people without their permission.”
"I wonder how the sister’s followers would feel if they knew the ‘funny’ story was about an autistic 6 year old?"- tnscatterbrain
The OP later offered an update as to how they were planning to handle the video, as well as their connection to their sister on social media.
"A lot of people are suggesting I make a TikTok and comment that the posts are fake and making fun of me, or to report the videos."
"I did report them about a day or two ago and they still remain up, so maybe there will be some luck there."
"I'm a bit uncomfortable commenting about them being fake or drawing attention to myself, confrontation is not really my thing, but I might ask my friend to comment them for me."
"As for Instagram, I've removed my tag from all of her photos and my last name was not on my profile so someone would really have to search to find me off Insta through her TikTok."
Social media is a very easy way to gain attention for those who crave it.
Something the OP very clearly does not.
Here's hoping that their sister will eventually realize that the OP deserves their right to privacy, and will stop including them in any future videos.
Expectant Dad Of Two Livid After Brother Questions Why He'd Bring Another Kid Into Bleak World
It's no secret that a lot of people are struggling right now, from the cost of living to job insecurity to food insecurity to poor housing. But that doesn't mean we have to stop living.
For many people, that means still starting and growing their families, while planning how to navigate the world we're currently in, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor DesignerOwn1141 and his wife knew that the world around them wasn't at its best right now, but they were eager to grow their family and were excited to bring a third child into the world.
When they announced their pregnancy, his brother's first reaction was to send him articles about how the world was doomed and shame him for bringing a child into it; the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he needed to block his own brother.
He asked the sub:
The OP and his wife were excited to welcome a third child into their family.
"I am 33 and male. My wife is 29."
"We have two sons, a six-year-old boy and a three-year-old boy. Both are happy, healthy, and well taken care of."
"We love being parents to them, and I work very hard to provide a good life for my family."
"My wife is four months pregnant with our third."
The OP's brother's life was very different from his.
"My younger brother has been something of a failure-to-launch case."
"Despite having every advantage, he never got good grades in school, was addicted to 'League of Legends' so severely that he barely scraped by, and spends his days streaming games to nearly no viewers on Twitch."
"I've watched his stream a few times, but he just rages constantly."
"My wife is too classy to ever say so, but I can tell he makes her uncomfortable."
"He's my brother, so I've long wanted to believe he's just bad at communicating with people, but to be frank, he's sort of just an a**hole. He's unapologetic whenever he says something hurtful and more likely to just double down and say, 'No cap.'"
"But if anyone so much as challenges his views, he throws a huge fit."
The OP tried to share his happy news with his brother, but his brother immediately squandered it.
"Recently, we announced she was pregnant with our third child. It's a joyous occasion for us because we wanted three children, and our other two sons are excited about having another brother or sister."
"When I texted my brother the news, he immediately said he couldn't imagine having children with the world the way it was."
"I asked what he meant, and he started sending me these articles about global warming, the plague in Russia, wars around the world, and so on."
"He seems convinced that the world is going to end in ten years tops, and that I'm only bringing up another child to die in the 'water wars.'"
"I was honestly disgusted with him. To tell someone that their unborn child is going to die, that their other children are going to die, is absolutely abhorrent behavior."
"But since he's always been a sensitive s**thead, I just said, 'Whatever, man,' and stopped reading his texts."
"He wouldn't stop. He kept sending me every doomer article. He said that when the clouds evaporate, the earth is going to get 15 degrees hotter. He said that AI is going to hack every government database. He said that China is going to invade Taiwan, and then it'll be war with the US and allies against Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran."
The OP had had enough of his brother's negative feedback.
"Finally, I just told him I was blocking him and thought little of the decision."
"He went and cried to our parents (again, he's the most sensitive s**tbag in the world), and they told me what I did was over the top."
"I know that if I unblock him, he's just going to doomspam me again."
"Am I wrong for just straight-up saying I never want him in my life again?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that they understood why he felt the need to distance himself from his brother.
"NOR. He sounds insufferable."
"He sounds like one of those people who doesn't like his life and so wants everyone else to be miserable too, or makes excuses for why he didn't do more with his life by blaming his problems on some external crisis." - savingrain
"NOR. He's allowed to protect his peace, especially if his brother keeps ignoring boundaries and turning every conversation into another end-of-the-world prediction, and having kids is hardly a reason to apologize for trying to build a good life despite everything going on." - Upper-Cloud9097
"NOR. But your brother is on his way to a full mental breakdown. Send him back cute dog and cat videos. Cute horse videos. Ozzy animal voiceovers."
"Eventually his phone will start thinking he's like me and his feed will calm down." - Present_Original_797
"I mean, my beliefs and thoughts about the future are along the same lines as him, and that’s why I’m an anti-natalist, but there’s something called tact. And personal choice/autonomy."
"If someone chooses to have kids, that’s their choice, and I’d keep my opinions to myself and be supportive, especially if they’re a family member. Spreading doomer content is extremely insensitive and rude. NOR." - EngineerGold4242
"NOR: I wonder whether your brother is displaying sibling jealousy towards you and your family; he recognizes his own shortcomings and can see where he is in life compared to you, and that is his major issue."
"Days filled with unfulfilling computer games and doomspamming others, he has a lot of maturing to do. Block him until or unless he decides to join the adult world and be the uncle he is supposed to be." - iron_redditman
"NOR. I have all those fears and as such actively avoid news about them. I skipped whole paragraphs here for that reason too, lol."
"I’d definitely block my sibling or anybody else who did that to me. I already know all these things; I don’t need constant reminders. All I can do is work on improving my little corner of the world and trudge forward."
"Anyway, protect your peace." - hahagato
"You are not obligated to bond with someone just because you share blood. It’s your peace and your family that you need to protect now. If you decide to go zero contact, it’s perfectly okay!"
"Especially because you and your wife are in charge of two, almost three, little guys, and your mental peace affect directly to them."
"PS. Historically, the world has always been on the edge, but nothing stops us to be what we are, humans trying to get over all the s**t! So don’t let those bad things put you down. We can build a better world by raising kind, lovely people, and it seems you and your wife are doing it. Good luck!" - Camigatoespinace92
Others advised the OP to involve his parents in case they could help his brother.
"Unblock him and then send everything he texts you to both mom and dad. No comments, just forward it."
"They'll think you're sending it, and when they complain, you can tell them that you thought they'd be interested in your brother's articles as well."
"NOR." - No_Address687
"NOR. Your parents don't know the half of it. Forward everything and let them read it for themselves." - Available_Agent3305
"NOR. I’d keep him blocked; your parents are wrong. If you want to be petty, start sending your parents article after article of stuff you know they won’t like. They will get the hint soon enough." - OldieButNotMoldy
"I would also go low contact with the OP's parents. OP is clearly NOT the favorite son. Any boundaries he put up with his brother will be considered wrong. NOR." - Interesting_Novel997
"NOR, but also my first reaction is that your brother isn't a 'sensitive s**tbag,' he is struggling with anxiety/depression and maybe undiagnosed neurodivergence and is drowning in his own ruminations. None of that makes this an appropriate response to a pregnancy announcement; it's clearly not. But he sounds like someone who is clearly struggling here."
"If it were me, I'd be sending your parents anything he previously sent you. If they share your concern after reading a few articles, maybe they'll take steps to help him." - 2kidsnomoney---
"NOR. I'm sorry to say this, OP, but your brother has not been socialized normally. He is a chronically online loser who thinks he can do and say whatever he wants and does not understand there are no consequences because there are often no consequences when he does it in a league match or online."
"It frankly sounds like your concern for him and his future is budding into resentment and contempt, and I feel like, as most brothers would, those are not the feelings you want to hold towards him."
"I have a brother like this. He was diagnosed as an adult with Asperger’s and now just a spectrum autism diagnosis, but he’s a real a**."
"You may have to unblock him to communicate fairly. It may be worth doing this in person because it’s easier for the chronically online to 'craft' their retort rather than be a part of a conversation."
"Before you can do that, though, you need to sit down with your parents. You need to explain and be able to articulate that:"
"1. His reaction to the wonderful news of you having another child crossed the line and was inappropriate."
"2. There need to be reasonable consequences or boundaries because you are no longer willing to put up with that."
"3. It is his call at this point whether or not he wants to be in your life and your children’s lives."
"You have to have their buy-in; otherwise they are just going to continue to coddle and enable this behavior."
"Then you need to sit down with him and your parents, intervention style. You need to present the same argument you did to your parents, and in all honestly, I would question him in return: what was he hoping would have been the outcome of that conversation?"
"Did he want you to say he’s so right, so smart? Did he want you to go to your wife and tell her to abort? Does he feel like he is in a place in his life where he can be your family planner and manager? When he crosses a line, what does he feel should happen?"
"Only when he is directly confronted, and you have the right supports in place, can he be presented with how his behavior affected you and what that could possibly mean for his relationship with you and your growing family." - allison_mossie
The subreddit understood feeling burdened by so much negative information during what should be a happy time of planning and anticipating a new addition to the family, but the OP needed time to think about what he wanted his larger family dynamic to look like.
That might mean removing his brother, so that the OP could protect his own, and by extension, his wife's and children's, mental health, but it might mean minimizing contact with other people, too, if they weren't willing to respect the OP's boundaries he had for his family's life.