Pregnancy is an intensely personal experience, and respect for privacy on the part of friends and family is very important to many parents-to-be.
For a woman on Reddit, this conflict came to blows when a friend used her sonogram to play a prank on an ex-boyfriend. So she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by EffectiveLong3 on the site, asked:
“AITA for getting upset with one of my coworkers who used my sonogram to ‘fool’ her exboyfriend into thinking she was pregnant?”
She explained:
“Hello everyone. I am 27F[emale]. My husband and I found out two months ago we are expecting our first child. Last week, we officially announced it via text and phone calls to our friends and family.”
“The next day at work, I found out that one of my coworkers had taken the photo of the sonogram I had sent them in the group text (someone had asked to see it) and posted it on her social media to ‘fool’ her exboyfriend (who she broke up with a few weeks ago) into thinking she was pregnant.”
“I never wanted my sonogram on the internet, I don’t have a facebook or an instagram or anything like that, and i feel extremely uncomfortable that it’s out there without me being able to control the audience of who is looking at it.”
“Also, this seems like an extremely cruel trick to play on someone, and she used my sonogram as a prop for this mean joke.”
“When I expressed that I was upset to my coworker, she said i was being ‘dramatic’ and I am ‘just looking for something to be upset over’. She said she covered up all identifying information, and that it was only up for a few hours and she told her exboyfriend the truth after ‘making him sweat for a bit’.”
“are pregnancy hormones making me more upset about this than I should be? AITA?”
Redditors were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And they were absolutely NOT having OP’s friend’s antics.
“Absolutely NTA.”
“What in the world was she thinking??? This is a huge invasion of your privacy.”
“I mean, I’m not even touching the can of worms of the prank she played on her bf, because holy hell. I’m just focusing on your involvement here. To be completely honest, I’d go to HR about this. But you do you. It’s absolutely unacceptable behavior.”
“And, frankly, I think it’s time to not be on a group chat with her. This is not someone you need having access to your life outside professional boundaries.”
“She took an extremely beautiful, wonderful moment of your life and twisted it for her own sick pleasure.” —idiggory
“I mean, she could have taken a sonogram that is already out there on the internet, but no, she had to involve OP in her sick, twisted ‘joke'”
“ETA : NTA” —GreenspaceCatDragon
“NTA, in addition to being a pretty sick joke, that’s completely out of line to post someone else’s sonogram.”
“I feel bad for her boyfriend. What kind of relationship is built on the foundation of making your SO ‘sweat for a bit?’ Jesus Christ” —marks31
“NTA, you did not post your child’s pic on the net. It was a horrible joke to play. All you have is her word she took it down. It might still be up. Even if she did take it down, it’s possible someone else screen shot it along with her message to show someone else how horrible the co-worker treated the ex.”
“Personally, I would get someone to check her webpage to make sure the post was taken down. They contact the ex and explain what happened and that you would like the picture deleted if any of his friends screen shot the pic.”
“Honestly, if she has done something like this in the past (stalking him) he might be trying to get evidence to get a restraining order against her. And there would be your baby’s first picture….in a police report.”
“Also, never share any pics of your child again with her. Show them to her, but not via the net.”
“On another note…congrats! May your baby always sleep through the night and rarely cry.” —lacitar
“NTA. Your co-worker sure is one. I would never trust her with anything ever again and never share anything with her. She is not someone you want as a friend. Maintain a work relationship and nothing more. If she asks, tell her you don’t trust her and she knows why.” —squirrelsareevil2479
“Assuming she just sent it to her boyfriend, there shouldn’t be too much concern about it being “out there ” but nevertheless it’s a huge invasion of privacy. She stole a very personal photo to do something very inappropriate. Basically she frauded her ex with your unborn’s child’s image.”
“I don’t know how closely you work with her but I would ask your supervisor if one of you can be moved.”
“You’re definitely NTA. Cut off any non work related contact with her.” —sreno77
“NTA. I would go absolutely go mental. I would speak to HR about this. Mainly as that would be the only way to keep myself from completely going after here. This is completely unacceptable.” —Pergamon_
“NTA. idk if there’s any legal ramifications for what she did, but I’d take it up with HR. she took a private photo that belong to you and posted it on her Facebook without your permission just to freak out her ex that she dumped. It was a stupid and petty thing for her to do.” —BlackberryBeetle
“Oh my. NTA in the least! That’s a ridiculous thing to do in general, but to use your actual sonogram is breaking all kinds of boundaries. I’d stay away from that person, sounds like she’s the drama queen to me.” —widefeetwelcome
Let this be a lesson to all of us to respect the privacy of people who share their personal lives with us.