People have widely varying tastes when it comes to food.
Some things are regional or cultural, but some are just individual preferences.
A man turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback after getting caught sneaking spices into his aunt’s cooking.
Minecraftdudeofstuff asked:
“AITA for having and using emergency spices at dinner?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I (28, male) was raised by my parents to always smile and stomach it when I’m a guest in someone’s house and they serve food that I didn’t enjoy. I’ve carried this into adulthood because I think it’s just polite.”
“If I really don’t like a meal I’m served, I’ll just eat a little bit of it and maybe grab food on the way home. But recently I was in a store and found little tiny bottles of the spice Tajín, which I love.”
“They were 50 cents, so I got like 12 of them, and now when I have a bad meal, I just wait for attention to be away from me and pop a dose of Tajín in, and that masks whatever flavor I don’t like.”
“Recently, I was at a family gathering, and my aunt served this weird concoction of chicken sausage, peppers, and onions in a cream sauce on plain white rice. It tasted both bland and weird.”
“So when attention was away, I dosed it with the Tajín. But my food had bits in it and looked red, so my family noticed, and I had to come clean and explain.”
“I do taste the food before I add the Tajín. Admittedly, I didn’t have high hopes for this meal, but I did try it before I spiced it.”
“My aunt was very offended and asked if I just hated her cooking. I said no. She has made great food. I just didn’t like this meal.”
“She asked why I didn’t say anything, and I told her I was raised to just smile and bear it when I had a meal I didn’t enjoy as a guest, the Tajín was just my way of helping me do that.”
“This made her more upset and started an argument with my parents. So now the whole family is annoyed with me.”
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
“The action I took was secretly using Tajín to stomach a bad meal I was served as a guest, and also maybe throwing my parents under the bus trying to explain myself. And that might make me the a**hole because I was trying to alter the meal in secret, and that started a family argument.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO – more information needed
Redditors decided the OP was the a**hole (YTA).
“How hard is it to just take out your Tajín in front of everyone and add it to your food? If someone asks what you’re doing, just tell them you really like the taste of it, and you carry it with you to add to your food, just like people who put salt and pepper or hot sauce on the table for every meal.”
“Culinary alteration accomplished, and you didn’t have to insult anyone or throw anyone under the bus.”
“Instead, you decided to be sneaky, rude, and unaccountable. It was completely unnecessary to insult your aunt’s cooking or to implicate your parents as the reason you’re rude and sneaky. YTA.” ~ MohawMais
“Not an a**hole for adding seasoning, but YTA for how you explained this. I can’t think of a worse way to phrase it than what boils down to ‘if I have to bear eating your food without complaining I need to add spices’.”
“Seriously, how hard is it to just say ‘I really like spicy food so I bring this everywhere so nobody feels obligated to make food spicier for my sake’?” ~ agreywood
“I agree, the explanation was really rude! To whatever extent OP was trying to be polite by eating the food he was served, he completely undid that by saying that adding Tajín was the only way he could even pretend to like it.”
“Granted, it probably was better that way, Tajín is magical. But learn to have some tact, dude!” ~ EmilyAnne1170
“I personally feel that adding things like salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, hot sauce, etc is fine as long as you are polite, so I suppose I can extend that concept to Tajín for the sake of this post.”
“But I’m going to vote YTA because of what you said, not what you did. ‘I told her I was raised to just smile and bear it when I had a meal I didn’t enjoy as a guest’. That was rude.”
“You could have said, ‘I just love spicy food and I found these cute mini packs at the store. It’s like powered hot sauce, do you want to try one?’ or really any variation on that that implies you enjoy her meal, you’ve just got a thing for heat, as many people do.”
“Instead, you told her that you hate her cooking so much that you have to bear it. That’s f*cking rude and clearly not in line with how you were raised and the values you proclaim to have, even if her cooking is a**.” ~ Maleficent_Web_6034
“Okay, I was leaning toward a soft NAH, but your proposed alternate response hit the nail squarely on the head. OP really could have prevaricated a bit and saved the drama, so YTA. I plan on keeping this in mind the next time I run into a similar situation.”
“The social awkwardness I most frequently run into is that I’m almost fatally allergic to anything that comes out of the water, so I need to be extra careful when a host serves seafood. A couple were incredibly insulted that I put not wanting to go to the ER ahead of eating what they prepared (even though they’ve known about my allergy for years).” ~ BunnySlayer64
“YTA. My brother-in-law puts (in my opinion) insanely ridiculous amounts of (a variety) of hot sauce on almost every single dish I’ve ever seen him eat. In no way am I offended when he douses the sauce & dried pepper flakes on his plate because he’s never outright said: ‘Man, this is bland, I need to spice it up’ rather he’s always stated he just really enjoys the ‘heat’.” ~ AndStillShePersisted
“Not an a**hole for carrying the Tajín, soft YTA for how you framed it. ‘Emergency spices’ implies the food was so bad you needed rescuing.”
“If you’d just said, ‘Oh, I put Tajín on everything, I’m kind of addicted,’ nobody would have blinked. People add hot sauce and ketchup to stuff all the time, and nobody calls it an emergency as they’re doing it. Because that’s rude.” ~ Ordinary-Conflict401
“100% this. My dad used to carry around miniature bottles or sachets of hot sauce, and sometimes foil with fresh peppers in them in his pockets, literally at all times, because he just enjoyed his meals more with those things added. He was always prepared.” ~ CatsDontHaveNames
“YTA. You dump spice on her food and then tell her it’s the only way you can eat it (excuse me, ‘bear it’) and you’re surprised she gets hostile?” ~ Teamtunafish
“They’re mad because of what you said, not because you brought your own spices. You didn’t have to tell her you didn’t like her food. Just tell people you really love Tajín and put it on everything and no one will care. YTA.” ~ Srawsome
“YTA for how you replied after you were caught. Just say that you have a slight addiction to dousing everything with Tajín at the moment, not that you were taught by your parents, who were sitting right there, to ‘grin & bear it’ while eating your aunt’s food.” ~ HighlyCaffein8edSoul
“My sister and I brought bottles of hot sauce to every event on my mom’s side because most of the food was so bland. But we didn’t sneak it, we just said ‘I like food spicy’ if anyone asked. Just don’t make it a big deal, and most people won’t care. YTA.” ~ apprehensive814
“I don’t necessarily think it’s rude that you added extra seasoning to the food but framing it as if the food would’ve been unbearable otherwise is rude. YTA.”
“Also, when it comes to having been raised to ‘smile and stomach’ foods you didn’t enjoy as a kid, I kinda get it. Unless the food is genuinely inedible or so repulsive you can’t bear it, then why not just eat the meal, even if it’s not your favorite?”
“Not everything in life is gonna be exactly your way, especially if you’re at someone else’s house. As long as the meal is edible and non repulsive, then, ya, just smile and stomach it.” ~ Altruistic-Zone2000
The OP later acknowledged where they swerved into a**hole territory.
“The case against me seems to be that 1. I did it in secret instead of openly, and 2. That when I was caught, I insulted her cooking by saying I had to ‘grin and bear it’.”
“Which are fair criticisms. The insult being a bigger issue I would say.”
There were better ways OP could have handled this, which wouldn’t have offended most people.
A little diplomacy can go a long way.
Same with Tajín!