Many of us have either had a difficult romantic partner, or we’ve been in proximity to one because of someone a friend or sibling was dating.
But one guy on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit was in proximity to quite the character.
Redditor RevaliSerge regularly made dinner for his whole family on family nights.
But when his brother’s girlfriend started attending, the Original Poster (OP) considered backing out.
He asked the sub:
“WIBTA if I were to refuse to cook for my sister-in-law?”
The OP made a habit of doing most of the cooking for family nights.
“Every Friday my (18 [Male]) family likes to get together for a meal and I usually cook it.”
“My brother, Cody (24 [Male]) got himself a girlfriend, Kimberly (23 [Female]).”
“Cody told me the day before that Kimberly can’t have much salt in her food.”
At dinner, Cody’s girlfriend became difficult.
“Alright, I asked to use his phone to confirm with her. She told me that was the only dietary restriction or allergen she has.”
“Here comes the dinner, and we had some spaghetti and meatballs and some stir-fried veggies.”
“She asked if the noodles had gluten, which I assumed they did. She then pushed the plate forward and pouted, not eating anything.”
“She told Cody that she told me straight up she can’t have gluten, and I must have deleted the message on his phone.”
“OK, no salt and gluten.”
The girlfriend continued to present more allergies.
“The next dinner, she suddenly was allergic and couldn’t eat stuff that was inside of the food.”
“Cody asked her since when she couldn’t eat these things and she just said that ‘I’m your girlfriend, how do you not know?'”
The latest dinner was the worst family night of all.
“Last dinner, she was then allergic to the light garlic in the grilled chicken and asparagus I made, claiming it makes her vision go blurry.”
“Cody confronted her, telling her that she ate garlic knots and eggs in the morning with garlic in it.”
“She then suddenly couldn’t see and begged to go to the hospital, causing a scene.”
“My mom basically tore into me, because how dare I send her to the hospital.”
“But the doctors said nothing was wrong.”
“I’m fine with editing a meal to follow one’s restrictions, but it seems like she’s pulling out different things she can’t eat, even to Cody’s surprise.”
“She eats sandwich bread and other bread just fine but refused to eat the spaghetti for her no-gluten restriction.”
“WIBTA for not cooking for her anymore?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some suggested not cooking for the girlfriend anymore.
“NTA. Never cook for her again. Tell her it’s too dangerous; she needs to bring and prepare her own food. You wouldn’t want to stumble into another of her mystery imaginary allergies again.”
“(Honestly, I doubt it’ll be an issue much longer.)” – Unit-Healthy
“NTA.”
“Send a text to your family, say because of the behavior of Kimberly in the past, and your mom tearing into you for Kimberly’s actions, you will no longer cook if they are there.”
“No wiggle room, just you won’t do it if Kimberly comes, someone else can take the helm.” – FPFan
“I wouldn’t uninvite her but advise her that due to her complex dietary ‘requirements’ she should bring something of her own that you’ll be happy to heat for her. After all, it would be awful if she was poisoned.” – programmerx95
“How about you stop cooking for ungrateful people? Cody isn’t defending you, and how dare your Mother get angry at you for lies from his GF.”
“Seems everyone is an AH in this situation from you. I’d recommend taking a hiatus or letting someone else cook for a while. They don’t seem to appreciate what you do for them.” – Warriormuffinhed
Others recommended making a detailed list of the girlfriend’s allergies.
“3. Prep a menu to send her beforehand with all ingredients. If she has an issue she can mention it ahead of time or bring her own food.” – Jayn_Newell
“Don’t uninvite her. It’s the drama she is after.”
“A couple of options I can think of:”
“1. No longer cook for her. Ever.”
“2. Ask her for a complete written (on paper with ink) list of her allergies.”
“Save this forever. Decide if your cooking skills are adequate to meet the requirements. If not, see #1.” – RainbowDarter
“Have the list laminated and tape it on all 4 sides to the refrigerator in full view.” – GiddyGabby
“Might have to add to it with permanent marker. (She’s being difficult…or wants to be the center of attention… if she can eat regular sandwich bread she’s not allergic to gluten.)” – FyreFly1981
Some recommended giving someone else the responsibility of cooking.
“OP usually cooks this family dinner. It’s time for it to be someone else’s turn, preferably Mom since she seems to be the most suckered by Kimberly’s expanding dietary issues.” – calling_water
“You’re NTA. I’m someone who has food allergies and people like her make people with actual allergies look bad.”
“Now use her ‘trip’ to the hospital as a reason to not cook for her. I’d phrase it like ‘I’m not comfortable cooking for her as I’ve already caused a reaction so bad she had to go to the hospital. Maybe she should just bring her own dish from now on.’ Make it a family potluck.”
“And if she gets annoyed with this, plenty of us allergy people do this daily…” – thefoxandthealien
“Alternatively, make the GF provide recipes for the food you cook. Or – better yet – make her cook for you. Ask her to show you how it’s done so you can protect her health and safety.” – MNVixen
“Better yet, make sure SHE hosts every family gathering from here on out so she is 100% in charge of the food and won’t make anything she’s ‘allergic’ to. Then make sure everybody throws a huge stink about it every time.”
“And if she does make something she’s claimed to be ‘allergic’ to, make sure to be VERY concerned and very loudly point it out.” – Desperate-Poem-8077
A few hoped this situation wouldn’t go on for much longer.
“My question is why is Cody still dating this girl when he clearly knows she’s full of s**t?” – nyorifamiliarspirit
“Tbqh (to be quite honest), if your brother has an ounce of sense, she won’t be a problem for much longer. Who the h**l wants to date someone like that? If this is a pattern, she’s gotta go.” – HugeDouche
“She’s obviously making up allergies on the fly for attention, or because she wants to distance her boyfriend from his family by claiming they keep trying to poison her.”
“The fact that her boyfriend doesn’t seem to know about anything except low salt until she pulls the rabbit out of the hat during the meal is a dead giveaway, plus suddenly faking an allergy attack many hours later when told what she had eaten for breakfast.”
“The girl is seriously in the too crazy to date basket.” – Far_Administration41
Food allergies are a very real problem for many people, but there are those who abuse the concept of having an “allergy.” The subReddit was pretty certain the girlfriend was, for whatever reason, the latter option, which the sub hoped the OP wouldn’t have to deal with for much longer.