The Gilmore Girls is a classic show for many.
It can be considered necessary watching.
But the show is not for everybody.
A lot of men seem to ignore it.
Sometimes, if it’s suggested for viewing in a certain way, a new audience member can be born.
Redditor No_Newspaper_559 to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for telling my husband he can watch the show I’d been recommending by himself after he only agreed to watch it when his cousin recommended it?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Hi, just looking for a quick judgment, this might sound petty, and if it is and if I’m behaving like an AH, I’ll drop the issue and apologize.”
“I’ve been recommending Gilmore Girls to my husband for something to watch, since we started dating, really.”
“I even showed him some clips, and he said he’d pass, which was fine with me.”
“I’ve loved it since I was a teenager, and I also understand it’s not for everyone.”
“Since I’ve known him, I’ve probably watched the show twice over, by myself.”
“Yesterday we were at a family dinner, where a lot of his extended family were as well, and a cousin he’s close to.”
“Anyway, today after dinner, as we were watching TV, he put on Netflix, searched up Gilmore Girls with full intent, and then said his cousin had told him his wife got him hooked on this show, it’s become a guilty pleasure of his.”
“I honestly thought he was messing with me.”
“I told him I’d suggested it countless times, and my vouching for it had never been good enough, but his cousin’s word was gospel.”
“He was just like, ‘Are you sure this is the same show?’ which just made me madder.”
“I told him I’d seen it twice since I knew him because he never watched it with me, so he can watch it by himself, and I just went to our room.”
“I heard him put it on for like a minute, and then he seemed to have switched to something else.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“I’m sorry for posting something so petty, but really, AITA for my reaction?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared that it sounded like OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. Anyone saying you’re an a**hole hasn’t experienced the incredible frustration of having men only listen to other men whilst dismissing or outright ignoring women.” ~ Klutzy_Start708
“No kidding, and not just men who listen to them.”
“I’ve been telling my mum for 18 years that she plays her radio way too loud, but she’s not believed me.”
“My brother stayed over for one night a month ago and told her the same, and she believed him the first time.”
“I’m irrationally irritated with both of them.” ~ Sinvisigoth
“Exactly.”
“This isn’t about Gilmore Girls, this is about having your opinion or even knowledge straight up invalidated by men and then suddenly treated like pearls of fucking wisdom when it comes from some other man.”
“This happens to women constantly, and it makes me ragey as hell.”
“100% NTA.” ~ Comfortable_Bath3953
“I agree OP is NTA, but I have experienced basically the same situation as the OP, but as a man with my male friend.”
“I had recommended Peep Show to my friend and played an episode on his TV when we were hanging out at his place, but he was not interested at all.”
“He moved out of state, and we lost touch for a few years, and the first time I visited him, he recommended it to me!” ~ comingabout
“Exactly this!”
“I recommended a movie to my husband when we were dating, and he dismissed me.”
“A month later, he told me he saw this really great movie (the one I told him about) and recommended it to me!”
“I was livid to say the least.”
“We joke about it now, but, yes, this is an infuriating thing men do.”
“NTA for getting mad.”
“It was justified.” ~ bluesuedeplaid
“Dead on.”
“I’ve had several exes pull this on me, me recommending a show and them just flat out refusing (shows like Bojack Horseman and Game of Thrones too, not even something that might be considered ‘feminine,’ not that that excuses it) only to have one of their bros recommend them to be totally down to watch.”
“It always felt like a very personal slight.” ~ kati8303
“The people calling you the a-hole are missing the point.”
“NTA, you’re upset because your husband ignored you for years about something, yet listened when it was presented by someone else one time.”
“I’m willing to bet this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this.” ~ buffhen
“NTA. I bet he got turned off at the thought that it was a female-oriented show, and only opened up to trying it when a male recommended it.”
“You don’t mention ages, but it sounds like the kind of thinking that young men use.”
“It’s annoying and immature, but it’s not a big deal unless you make it so.” ~ TheWacoFogey
“I agree, although both hubby and I are guilty of dismissing a show then when the other is watching it by themselves, just half listening, and the next thing we know we are hooked.”
“The difference being we don’t only want to watch after someone else recommends it as well.”
“Oh, and NTA.” ~ Environmental_Art591
“NTA, I totally get where you’re coming from. “
“The number of times I’ve been in this situation with men it’s too many to count.”
“There’s an episode of Modern Family that does the perfect job of showing this VERY common scenario – Phil has a wedge salad at a restaurant and Claire is pissed because she’s been telling him how good it is for years and he doesn’t try it till he’s at that same place with a buddy who recommends it – it’s always something simple like that.” ~ Careless-Being-4427
“NTA, but the cousin is a red herring. It’s not really about him listening to his cousin; it’s the fact that he kept rejecting you and wouldn’t try something that you’re obviously interested in and asked to share multiple times.” ~ fndnvolusrgofksb
“NTA. The Wedge Salad episode of Modern Family.”
“This is something men do so much to us; we all think of the same episode of a TV show when it happens.”
“I would be SO annoyed/pissed, and want a real talk/understanding of how he listens to me.”
“Honestly, he may not realise he’s doing it, but that doesn’t make it okay.” ~ Straight-Nerve-5101
“NTA. It can feel hurtful to recommend something over and over to someone, and the second someone else does, they acknowledge it.”
“I think just have a calm talk with him when you’re less heated because realistically it’s not even fully about Gilmore Girls, it’s about the way it made you feel.” ~ Medical-Rain-8614
“NTA. Does he do this about other stuff, too?”
“I’d be really upset as well.”
“If I were in this position with my husband, I’d feel like he doesn’t value my opinion.”
“I do think you should talk to him about how it makes you feel and resolve the issue.”
“Hopefully, he’ll be more willing to listen to you and consider your opinion moving forward.” ~ Huntsvegas97
“NAH. His cousin told him that her husband got hooked on it.”
“That’s just excellent marketing.”
“Don’t compare your simple suggestion to that.” ~ Remarkable-0815
“NTA OP!”
“My ex used to do this s**t all the time.”
“We’d been together for 14 years and pretty much thought everything I ever suggested was dumb or beneath him.”
“But when his gaggle of buddies would suggest the same f**king thing… he’d act like he was told something magical.”
“I hope this isn’t a consistent thing across the board… otherwise, that really won’t be healthy for you.” ~ jojosouhaite2
“NTA… I’d be upset, too.”
“It sounds to me like your husband had convinced himself or heard somewhere that this was a show that is geared toward women, that women were the only ones who liked it, and certain men said certain things about other men who liked it.”
“Then, when another guy said he liked it, it became okay to watch, and that’s why your husband is willing to give it a shot now.”
“I obviously don’t know your husband, but that’s the vibe I get when Gilmore Girls is brought up in mixed gender settings.”
“It doesn’t make him an AH necessarily, it makes him a little socially dependent on other people, though.”
“That said, this is your chance to watch your show with your husband.”
“Do you want to do that?”
“This may be your only chance to do so if you drop it and create a safe space for watching the show.”
“Right now it’s ‘the show that my cousin said was good, but my wife yelled at me for it’ which doesn’t make it conducive to watching.”
“That’s my 2 cents anyway.”
“Good luck!” ~ Bullwinkle932000
“NTA. Not only did he not try out the show you repeatedly recommended until someone ELSE told him about it, but he tried to gaslight you by asking if you were sure it was the same show.”
“He’s doubling down on shi**y behavior.”
“This isn’t a small thing, OP.” ~ pennywhistlesmoonpie
OP came back to chat…
“I haven’t gotten a chance to go over all the comments.”
“The first few had made the point that this really isn’t a hill to die on.”
“I told him why I reacted the way I did, he said the way I described it, and the clips versus the way his cousin did were very different.”
“He didn’t mean to blow me off.”
“So anyway, we’re watching it now.”
Reddit is with you, OP.
Some partners just don’t listen closely enough the first few times.
You’re right, this is not a hill to die on.
There are bigger fish to fry.
Enjoy the show!