There are few things more uncomfortable than being trapped in an audience, forced to watch someone who mistakenly believes they’re hilarious. The secondhand embarrassment is real.
Weddings tend to bring out amateur comedians, usually in the form of overly long, cringe worthy toasts.
A man who officiated the wedding of a friend turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback after taking decisive action when the entertainment at the reception had people waiting for the pain to end.
DayDinking asked:
“AITA for telling the DJ at a friend’s wedding reception to cut the video?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I (33, male) was officiating my friend’s wedding (30s). It was a civil ceremony, so wasn’t like any religious tying of knots.”
“And it was great, which continued into the reception—there were food, drinks, speeches, the works. Then about an hour in, we were suddenly asked to sit at our tables because the bride’s friend & groom’s sister announced they were going to play a video they produced.”
“So, in principle we all knew it was coming—we were all asked to record a message for the couple, and indeed, we assumed the video would be just a lightly edited compilation of those messages.”
“10 minutes or so? Oh, how wrong we were, how very wrong…”
“So every 3rd message or so was interrupted by a message from either the friend or the sister. They grew longer & more elaborate, but also… very boring?”
“Oh, hey, here’s the sister going down a slide. Here’s the friend driving a car… Now they’re at an amusement park! It’s a jet ski! And each elaborate shot ended with one of the two looking at the camera going, ‘Congratulations! We love you!’.”
“This felt a little egocentric to be honest, and not about the bride & groom at all. And it dragged ON—the thing lasted like 20 minutes and the crowd was getting restless. But hey, it was finally over, right? WRONG!”
“Oh no, when the messages were over, and the ‘credits’ rolled, it was suddenly time for a skit! And by skit I mean a terrible pilot episode of a sitcom that never had any right to exist.”
“The sister & friend were pretending to be the couple, and there were… jokes? I think? It was torture. It was hell. I was in Hell. I was paying for my sins. I was being punished for watching Friends one too many times.”
“At minute 38 of this Hell, I—slightly drunk—got up, walked up to the DJ, and went, ‘No! that’s enough! Cut it! Play music!’.”
“The DJ seemed genuinely relieved to be given the go ahead, and as the music started playing, the groom’s sister ran up to me going, ‘No! What did you do‽‽ There were only 15 minutes left!’, to which my reply was, ‘Are you kidding me?! ANOTHER 15 minutes‽‽ F*ck no!’ and went off to dance.”
“According to my friend, the sister tried to get the DJ to resume the video, but by this point, the dance floor was packed, and she flat out refused; God bless her.”
“So now my friend’s sister refuses to attend any event to which I am invited, but honestly? Screw her. Taking over the entire wedding with that video nightmare? She had it coming.”
“Still, my friend agrees the video was absolutely unhinged but says I should have just endured and not have been so rude to her, which, in my opinion, she earned with her magnum opus of crap.”
“So… AITA?”
The OP later added:
“The couple despise the video. They loathe the thing.”
“The groom thought I should have been nicer to his sister about it, though. I’ll take the heat, but in my defense, I had no way of knowing how long it was gonna be.”
“Maybe it was gonna be another 15 minutes, maybe it was gonna be another 30. Maybe it would still be playing to this day.”
The OP summed up their situation.
“Should I not have cut the video? Should I have been nicer to the sister?”
“I was genuinely furious. Like I cannot overstate how self-involved it was—a showcase of their ‘acting’ and ‘comedy’ almost completely detached from anything wedding couple-related.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. Only the producers of the video were upset. Everyone else, including the bride, was relieved. Otherwise, why did the dance floor fill up so fast?”
“Nobody except you was willing to be the ‘a**hole’ and end the madness. You heroically took one for the team!” ~ Irish_beast
“NTA. I don’t understand why it isn’t common practice to have a designated “bouncer” at a wedding.”
“My brother was my best man, and to avoid any headaches for my wife and I on the wedding day, everyone we contracted with (the venue, the band, etc…) understood clear instructions that nothing happened on the wedding day (even something as simple as song requests) unless it came from my brother.”
“He stopped a few ridiculous requests that would have annoyed my wife and me without us even knowing about them until later.” ~ Signal_Wall_8445
“I had a couple of people at my wedding who turn into jackasses when they drink, and my brother was in charge of making sure that if anybody started showing their @ss, they were escorted out before I had to deal with it.”
“Also, my maid of honor was READY with red wine if anybody showed up in white. Wedding bouncers are a necessity 100%.” ~ rabidhemingway_
“You’re the needed a**hole. Yes, it’s on the dickish side, but sometimes that’s required, and you just need to pull the band-aid.” ~ darwinn_69
“NTA. Listen, you saved that wedding reception from being held hostage by an ego trip disguised as a tribute. This wasn’t their personal YouTube channel debut. It was supposed to be about celebrating the couple.”
“The fact that both the DJ and the crowd instantly filled the dance floor shows you read the room perfectly. You weren’t just some random guest causing trouble, you were the officiant who noticed the reception dying a slow death.”
“The sister’s reaction refusing to attend events you’re at shows she cares more about her damn artistic vision than the couple’s big day. The only person upset is someone who tried to turn a wedding into her personal film festival.” ~ Arorua_Mendes
“NTA. The sister knew this was going to be an hour-long production. Guaranteed, she probably said very little to the bride or groom about it because they would have told her an hour is too long.”
“She was making it about herself at that point. ‘Look at this amazing thing I made for my brother. Aren’t I just such a great sister for putting so much effort into this? I know it’s an hour, but I wanted to milk this for as long as I could since the day isn’t focused on me enough’.”
“This stunt caused almost an hour of the reception to be gone when this could have been a gift the couple could have watched later at home.” ~ Becca092115
“NTA! What the hell‽‽ Modern American weddings are like, between 5 and 6 hours in total. Exceptions obviously apply, but a non-church wedding at the same venue as reception is gonna be around 5 hours.”
“So ceremony, cocktails, and assorted other pre-reception hijinks takes about an hour, hour and a half. Dinner service is usually 45min to an hour.”
“So you’ve got at most three and a half hours left for the entire rest of the party. That’s cake cutting, special dances, garter and bouquet, all of it.”
“And these chucklef*cks entitled themselves to an entire hour of it‽‽”
“They should be offering to pay the couple back for turning their once-in-a-lifetime celebration into a Mandatory Film Festival.” ~ Hedgehogahog
“NTA, I couldn’t imagine sitting through an hour-long video at my own wedding that isn’t really about me or the bride. It’s our day, so we get to be self-centered and make it about us.” ~ TheGamerXym
“No one should have to sit through an hour-long video at a wedding, no matter who it’s about! No video/photo presentation should ever be longer than ten minutes.” ~ Alternative-Dig-2066
“Oh my gosh, this reminds me of the wedding I went to when the father of the bride stood up to give a toast and he said something about 6 points of a good marriage. He talked for a good 15 minutes and then said, ‘…and the 2nd point…’.”
“It was so painful. It went on so long and then he even read a children’s book and talked about that. Now we laugh about it, but at the time could have really used an a**hole to cut it off.” ~ No-Acanthisitta-2973
“NTA. No one goes to a wedding to watch 45+ minutes of video by the groom’s sister and various randos. She was hijacking the wedding because she wanted to be a YouTube star or something.” ~ MarionberryPlus8474
If people want to test out their comedy chops, they can join open mic nights at comedy clubs and improv groups.
A friend or family member’s wedding isn’t the time or place to debut their schtick.