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Guy Upsets His Wife After Berating Her Over Her New ‘Annoying’ Nighttime Skin Regimen

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Marriage or even just living with another human is a balancing act of needs and wants that hopefully is somewhat equitable.

However with marriage the couple have publicly vowed to support one another. So why do some relationships end up so lopsided?

Hoping for validation of his actions but ending up being made an example of what not to do, a husband—using throwaway7531239 on the site—turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

He asked:

“AITA for telling my wife to stop her nightly routine because it’s annoying?”

He added:

“I feel bad that I made my wife cry, and I think I made her mad at me.”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“So since [the pandemic] hit, my wife has been super into watching a bunch of skincare videos on YouTube and stuff. The dumb ones where celebrities show their skincare and makeup routine.”

“Well she got the idea that it was finally time she start taking care of her skin, and she went out and bought a bunch of products (which are kind of a waste of money since I don’t really notice a difference in her skin, anyway).”

“Anyway, every night she pretends like she’s in one of those videos. She gets ready for bed and puts on her special ‘nightly routine’ robe, which is the ugliest robe I’ve ever seen.”

“It’s white, and it has a bunch of holes in it. She says it’s so that she doesn’t get any of her product on her ‘good robe’ and ruin it.”

“She’ll bring all of her products into our shared bathroom and listen to some dumb rainforest sounds really loud. She spends like 30-35 minutes in there every night – for what, I don’t know, because I don’t see a difference.”

“The past couple of nights, the sounds of the rainforest have been irritating me every time I walk by the bathroom (our bedroom is also a few feet away from the bathroom). The first couple of nights I dealt with the sound, thinking it was just a phase and that she’d stop soon.”

“Well, she didn’t, and then I asked her to turn it off completely and just do her nightly routine in silence.”

“She seemed really sad and down at first, and tried to get me to give in with puppy dog eyes, saying she loves the sounds and it really helps her relax and unwind, and that it’s really been helping her mental health.”

“I told her there were other ways to unwind that didn’t involve annoying her partner to death, and that she wasn’t mentally ill or something, so there was no need.”

“Well, she kept listening to the sounds, except with headphones this time, which was even more annoying than me having to sit and listen to it, because now I can no longer get her attention while she’s in the bathroom when I call her.”

“It also takes her twice as long now, and she says it’s because she’s trying to do her skincare without ruining her headphones.”

“I lost it a few nights ago and told her to stop doing her routine all together, and just brush her teeth and go to bed like a normal person. That the sounds were annoying and with headphones, it’s still annoying me.”

“I also told her I don’t see a difference in her face anyway so what was the point of using and wasting money on all those products? She ended up crying, calling me an a**hole, and I feel kinda bad about it, but at least I’m no longer annoyed.”

“Is my wife biased? AITA?”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was the a**hole.

“YTA for:”

“1. Thinking that her skin care is a waste because YOU haven’t noticed a difference.”

“2. Belittling your wife and claiming she is playing pretend.”

“3. Apparently expecting your wife to only wear clothing you find attractive.”

“4. being annoyed at her obvious solution of wearing headphones…”

“…now I think you’re just trolling us, you are complaining that you can’t get her attention for that precious half hour?? She can’t have a half hour just for herself???”

“I’ll just stop there. Why bother.” ~ WritPositWrit

“Right? I can see why this woman wants a half hour of a peaceful routine to wind down, because her insufferable husband won’t leave her tf alone.”

“She’s trying to give this man a hint, hey I need some me time, and god knows what lame bullshit he’s trying to bother her with that can’t wait a half hour.” ~ sunandmoon85

“But wife no come when called 🙁 like a bad dog :(“

“Yeah OP has got an issue. Self-care isn’t just for mentally ill people, though god knows his behavior would drive me insane for sure.” ~ Neurotic_Bakeder

“Reminds me of when my ex would knock on the bathroom door to ‘check on me’ if I had the nerve to float in the bath for longer than 20 minutes. He and OP are both controlling, needy little boys.” ~ Ok_Mongoose_204

“Why is he so angry about everything??? You can feel him seething in every sentence.”

“Does he always talk like this with her??? He seriously needs like therapy if he’s finding himself this mad over, what????”

“His wife doing something to help keep herself happy? I literally can’t fathom what anyone would have against it.” ~ penninsulaman713

“Because it’s not about HIM.”

“Ugh. He’s not even my husband and I want to divorce him.” ~ WiccadWitch

“‘At least I’m no longer annoyed’.”

“I get the impression this dude has next to no ability to manage his own emotions and relies on the people around him to adjust.”

“Like, he seems annoyed, then he seems annoyed that he’s annoyed, and from his perspective everything would be so much easier if people would just clam up and do what they’re told.”

“The lack of self-awareness is impressive and depressing.” ~ Neurotic_Bakeder

“It must be exhausting to be so primed to be annoyed at every single little thing. Almost as exhausting as it is to live with someone so primed to be annoyed at every living thing.”

“I can’t imagine why his wife needs 30 minutes of rainforest sounds to de stress every night, her household must be so soothing the other 23.5 hours a day.” ~ alter_ego77

“YTA – and not even a close call.”

“So your wife is doing something that is fun for her, and apparently relaxes her as a nighttime routine. That’s so wonderful for her.”

“You should be HAPPY for her.”

“Even if it’s not magically improving her skin, it’s still something that she enjoys, clearly, so that should be more than enough to justify it.”

“The rainforest sounds annoyed you (which I find odd, but I’ll give you that one) so she is using headphones, which is a big compromise on her part.”

“And now you have the nerve to be annoyed because she doesn’t listen when you call?”

“She’s not an effing dog, dude. What do you need her for during her night time routine? Give the woman her me-time.” ~ Annelisandre

“This is the part that gets me – like, if you NEED her for something then get up off your a** and tap her on the shoulder.”

“You want her to answer you, then you go to her instead of demanding she come running at your every call.” ~ Justanothergamerwife

“The part where he bitches about her ratty robe really got me. I feel like if I told my husband I was wearing a ratty, hole-riddled robe so I wouldn’t ruin my good one with my nightly routine creams, he’d probably get me a special ‘nightly routine’ robe as a gift.”

“This guy isn’t just an a**hole, he’s a deeply unpleasant human being and I feel so sorry for his wife. I want to buy her a nightly routine robe, myself.” ~ Flower-of-Telperion

“Can he really not deal with not having her accessible to him for that short amount of time? He sounds controlling and must be exhausting to live with.”

“No wonder she doubled the amount of time she spends in there after he got on her case about it. I’d want to avoid him for as long as possible too.” ~ Ok_Mongoose_204

His wife’s nightly routine honestly didn’t negatively impact OP’s life in any way.

If he didn’t want to see or hear it, he was free to enter the bedroom after she was done or wear headphones of his own.

Reddit pointed all this out to OP, but it seemed to fall on ears that only could hear their own voice. He didn’t respond to any comments and later deleted his post.

Written by Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka Haudenosaunee and Metis Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. She considers herself another proud Maineiac.
Member of NAJA.