Some people are very particular about their food.
Not even what they like and don’t like, but need their food to always be prepared a specific way, with precise measurements, even served in a specific dish.
So picky are these eaters, that they can’t or won’t eat food that isn’t prepared to their exacting standards.
Such was the case for the husband of Redditor throwaway16274482736 who needed to prepare her husband’s meals to very specific parameters.
Making things even more frustrating, the original poster (OP)’s husband almost always found something to complain about in everything she served to him.
Indeed, the OP’s husband simply could not control his temper after she accidentally strayed from the recipe only ever so slightly.
Wondering if she really had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not counting raisins.”
The OP explained how a few extra raisins in her husband’s oatmeal was simply more than he could tolerate.
“Ok so I make my (30 F[emale]) husband’s (30 M[ale]) breakfast and lunch every night so he can bring it to work the next day.”
“He goes to the gym a lot, and is trying to be more health conscious.”
“We have always had an issue with me making his breakfast.”
“He literally only eats plain oats with raisins..sometimes I’ll spice it up with some cinnamon so it’s not dog food.’
“He always has a complaint.”
“There’s either not enough water, sometimes too much oats, and LATELY he wants me to count out exactly 12 raisins because that’s the serving suggestion.”
“I’m pregnant, I work on my feet, and honestly not in the mood to count out 12 f*cking raisins every night.”
“I think it’s asking a little much, and it’s not like he’ll make his own breakfast.”
“He counted the amount this morning and texted me freaking out that there were 18 raisins in his stupid oatmeal.”
“AITA for not counting raisins?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Everyone agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for accidentally adding six extra raisins to her husband’s oatmeal.
Everyone agreed that the behavior of the OP’s husband was shockingly childish, with many feeling that if he cared so much about his health and fitness, he should be preparing his meals himself, not asking his pregnant wife to do it for him.
“Of course NTA, but why in the world are you making this for him?”
“You said ‘its not like he’ll make his own breakfast’.”
“Ok.”
“Then he’ll be hungry.”- purplewoodcarver
“No.”
“If he wants his oats a certain way, he can make them himself.”- SignificantWork3616
“NTA.”
“You’re his wife, not his mother.”
“If he’s having a panic attack over 6 raisins, he needs a therapist.”
“It’s good to be health conscious, but thinking that 6 raisins is going to disrupt his diet smells like either OCD or an impending eating disorder.”- TarantulaPets
“Tell him to make his own damn breakfast or go hungry.”
“NTA but your husband sure is.”- Lastwespoke
“NTA, but why don’t you just leave out the box of oatmeal and the box of raisins and let His Highness make it to his liking?”
“Because if he’s being this picky now, you are going to explode when you’re sleep deprived with a newborn and he’s flipping out.”
“Also – is he OCD?”
“Has he seen anyone about this?”
“He should.”- Straight-Singer-2912
“Does he have an eating disorder?”
“You’re absolutely NTA, and you should make him start making his own breakfast, but also just be aware that men can get eating disorders, even when they’re less likely to admit it.”- BreRaw
“He will when he has no other option.”
“NTA.”- NesssMonster
“NTA.”
“And a timely reminder men can get EDs and this sounds like it could veer in that direction if he’s genuinely feeling panic at there being 6 raisins too many in his breakfast.”
“May be time for a conversation OP.”-bumbleb33-
“NTA.”
“I think I’d use as many raisins as it took to spell out F— YOU in his oatmeal and then tell him to go make his own meals.”- Jerseygirl2468
“Omg how have you not smothered this man in his sleep?”
“NTA NTA NTA remind him he’s lucky to have you but he shall be making his own food from now on.”-RushuHohm975
“NTA.”
“Sounds obsessive.”
“Tell him to count his own raisins and make his own oatmeal. Its less than 5 minutes in the microwave.”
“He is a big boy now and can learn the task.”
“Next, he can learn to wipe his own a**.”- tatersprout
“NTA (almost N A H).”
“get him a pill box that has compartments for the days of the week.”
“He can count his 12 raisins into the compartments and then you can dose each day’s oatmeal.”
“Being particular/fussy is fine, but he’s got to participate a little if he’s asking for something so specific.”- SadderOlderWiser
“NTA.”
“If he has time to count the raisins, he has time to make the oatmeal.”- Forward_Squirrel8879
“NTA.”
“Put the box of raisins next to his breakfast and he can count his own raisins.”- gastropodia42
“NTA.”
“He can make his own breakfast if he’s going to play childish passive aggressive games.”-WholeAd2742
“NTA.”
“‘It’s your new job to make your own breakfast. Good luck’.”- bobledrew
“NTA, he’s an adult and you aren’t his mom.”- Lemonade_Masquerade
“Holy f*ck NTA and please stop making this man breakfast immediately.”- poeadam
“NTA.”
“Does he cook dinner or do the other chores?”
“Sounds like you are the housewife while also working.”- CakeEatingRabbit
“No NTA, dude sounds at best unbearable and honestly a bit crazy.”- DontBAfraidOfTheEdge
“NTA.”
“Count out his twelve precious raisins and measure out EXACTLY how much water and oatmeal he demands.”
“Go to bed before him and before you go to sleep, squish the raisins into his side of the bed, soak his side of the sheets with the (cold) water and sprinkle the oatmeal on top.”
“Best if it’s crushed first.”
“If he dares to get upset, let him know you prepared ‘overnight oats’ for him and that it’s the final time that you’re preparing oatmeal or any of his meals for him until he contributes fully to the family.”- Next_Astronomer_2166
“NTA.”
“Why are you still making his GD breakfast?”
“My wife would have given me one time and if I complained she would have told me to make my own.”
“If he has time to go to the gym and do ‘me time’ he certainly has time to make his own breakfast.”-IamAustinCG
“NTA.”
“He’s old enough to make his own breakfast.”- illuminalice
“NTA, he can do it himself.”
“Tell him to weigh his food too instead of counting out each individual raisin.”- brencartoons
“NTA.”
“This feels like OCD.”
“It also feels a lot like it’s time for a visit to a marriage counselor for an initial assessment.”
“And it definitely feels like it’s time for him to start making his own breakfast.”
“Hard stop, no more indulging this.”- capmanor1755
“NTA.”
“In our household anyone who complains about meals is given the job of cooking.”
“He can meal prep his own breakfast to his exact specifications.”- blueavole
“If he wants 12 raisins EXACTLY then he can count them and put them in himself.”
“And make his own breakfast and dinner.”- summerbackthen
“NTA.”
“Stop making his breakfast.”- International-Fee255
“NTA Your husband needs a reality check.”
“He’s capable of making his own breakfast.”
“If he wants 12 raisins, he can prepare his breakfast the night before.”- Saraqael_Rising
“Omg.”
“Tell him to make it himself.”
“If he doesn’t, that’s on him.”
“He’s an adult.”- mflowrites
“NTA as I’m sure everyone agrees- but this isn’t about the raisins.”
“He is a big boy and he can make breakfast any way he wants but to get angry at you for an additional 6 raisins tells me this isn’t about the Iranian yogurt.”- iNEEDyourBIG_D
“NTA.”
“He can make his own breakfast if he’s going to be picky!”- EveningSleep2234
“NTA.”
“Tell him to make his own damn food.”- imothro
“NTA but you will be if you don’t get your husband help.”
“He has an eating disorder.”
“He’s suffering and if you keep letting this progress he might die.”
“It’s the deadliest mental illness.”
“It’s not your fault, it’s nobody’s fault, not even his own, but he needs help now.”
“You can’t help him alone he needs a professional.”- ratakat
It’s shocking enough that the OP’s husband seems to expect his pregnant wife to prepare all his meals for him, when one feels it should probably be the other way around.
But even more shocking is that he would actually lose his temper over a few extra raisins, which he could have easily picked out.
It seems that it would probably be best for everyone if the OP stopped preparing her husband’s meals.
Maybe then, he might see how it’s surprisingly easy to add one to many raisins to a dish by accident.