No good deed goes unpunished. Once you do nice things for people, some begin to expect that from you.
In this case, a few free meals don’t mean you get a personal chef.
Redditor cookingthrow encountered this very issue with her housemates. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
She asked:
“AITA for cooking for only half of my housemates?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (23f) live in a house with 7 other housemates. We are all in our early twenties, some of us in grad school or college, some of us with jobs.”
“Cooking is one of my favorite hobbies, and a lot of people say that my food is restaurant quality.”
“When we first moved in together a few months ago, I made a huge ‘welcome home’ type dinner: truffle risotto, lobster bisque, and cod filets.”
This became a habit.
“Obviously a gaggle of poor undergrad/grad students don’t have the most luxurious diet, and I felt happy to be able to feed them.”
“Pretty much every day I would cook for the whole house, and in the beginning they were so appreciative. They were saving a TON of money, eating something other than cup ramen.”
“During midterms a few months back, I was so stressed that I didn’t have the energy to cook anymore. It’s a HUGE task to cook for eight people, as it’s an insane amount of ingredients and energy.”
“Everyone got upset, and began making really snide comments.”
“After midterms finished, they asked me when I would start cooking again, and I put my foot down and said that I just couldn’t cook for eight people every night anymore. After that I only cooked enough for four people.”
“Most recipes online yield around 3-6 servings, and rather than letting the food go to waste, I’d invite whoever is in the house at dinner time to join me.”
They didn’t like that.
“The issue: I cook at a certain time every night, so only people with a compatible schedule have been able to eat. Half of them have class, work, or internship around that time, while the other half have busier mornings.”
“So, it was the same three people getting free meals. This pissed the other four off, and they told me this was unfair, as they couldn’t control their schedules.”
“I began to get harassed; Alice said as the poorest one who works two jobs, free food would benefit her the most. Mike said as a college student he had no income, thus he deserved the food. This person would beg me to save a portion for them after their shift, that person would cal me selfish, etc, etc.”
“At a certain point I was done.”
“I told them to stop bothering me; that I was just going to cook what I want, regardless of financial situations, schedules, allergies, sob stories. I told them they could set up their own schedule, a rotation—whatever. Just leave me out of it.”
They came up with an unreasonable solution.
“Well, the seven of them had a meeting, and decided that I was the one creating the problem by only cooking for four. So, they said either I cook for eight people, or I don’t cook at all.”
“Apparently because I am the most financially stable out of all of us, the extra ingredients shouldn’t be a problem. If I didn’t want to, I should stop leaving extra food because that was causing conflict.”
“I lost my shit and called them ridiculous. That I voluntarily cook, serve, and clean up after because I want to, and their inability to cooperate wasn’t my fault or problem.”
“It’s been tense ever since; I’m pretty sure I’m not the AH, but as all of my housemates strongly disagree, it’s causing me to doubt myself.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“Find new roommates.”
“They had a meeting without you, and the 3 you cooked for didn’t even have your back.”
“You are NTA” ~ _1nc0gn1t0_
“NTA. Do not doubt yourself. They are rude. Talk about feeling entitled! I would tell them all to go to hell and go hungry. They’re on their own now.” ~ Leading_Goose50
A Redditor gave OP some advice.
“Yeah they are VERY entitled. Like they feel they are entitled to OPs time and food without contributing literally ANYTHING whether time or ingredients that OP puts into a meal for 8 people daily holy shit.”
“OP gave them a very generous inch and they took an entitled mile.”
“Also, find new roommates because it also sounds like none of them are chipping in food expenses towards what OP makes either.”
“OP are you on the lease? I would be careful about them giving you the ‘boot’ without the lease security because they already had a roommate meeting, who knows what other meetings they would have.”
“Until OP can get a place of their own I recommend this:”
“-Make food for only yourself.”
“-If they get salty then JeEsUs CrIsT they need to learn to ADULT and cook their own food, even if its ramen cups (common with broke college students).”
“-Any leftovers from your cooking put into one container with your name labelled on it and say ‘do not eat, leftovers for [OPs name].'”
“-I also recommend tapping the all sides because your roommates sound petty enough. I wouldn’t doubt that they would spit or mess with it, or outright take the food anyway.”
“-Since they are salty for you not making enough for everyone and you will have leftovers by the sounds of it (and are paying for all the ingredients and cleaning up after yourself) you cooking only for yourself means they cant get on your back about it not bring fair.”
“If they get on your back about their financial situation and how you ‘shouldn’t make nice meals because it’s not fair that they can’t afford nice ingredients say this:”
“‘Its also not fair how I was the one cooking for 8 people. All 7 of you could even of pooled a little bit of money towards ingredients, helped me cook or even offered to help clean up after. But no, you all took advantage of my generosity and treated me like a personal chef rather than a roommate.”
“I am making it fair by only making food for myself using my ingredients I bought and cleaning up after myself.”
“But again I would be careful of them kicking you out of the apartment and I recommend you look for new roommates and a new apartment ASAP.” ~ TheoryAddict
OP’s housemates should be thankful for the free food.