Perhaps the most dangerous thing about jealousy is how unpredictable it can be regarding your emotions.
Sometimes, when one is feeling jealous about something, consciously or not, it will result in saying or doing something you would never think of under normal circumstances.
Redditor SubstantialHyena6800 found herself somewhat jealous when she was left out of a recent experience with her boyfriend and his sister.
Letting her jealousy get the better of her resulted in her making some fairly serious accusations against her boyfriend.
Having second thoughts about her behavior, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for getting upset at my boyfriend for posting pictures of himself and his sister when they went on a road trip together?”
The OP first revealed while she would have liked joining the OP and his sister on a recent road trip, she found herself unable to tell them so.
“My [25F[emale]] boyfriend[25 M[ale]] of 1 and a half years went on a road trip with his sister[27 F I think?] this past week, and while I wanted to go as well, I knew it wasn’t in my rights to force them to take me so I said nothing.”
Her emotions got the better of her though, when she saw the pictures of the trip his sister shared on social media.
“However, my boyfriend and his sister posted a lot of pictures on her social media of their experiences in the road trip.”
“There are some really weird pictures though.”
“Most notably, one of the pictures show my boyfriend’s sister kissing him on the cheek and some other photos show her with her arm around his neck.”
“I feel like many may interpret them as a couple rather than a sister-brother relationship.”
Upon his return, the OP confronted her boyfriend about the pictures, but he did not appreciate her accusations.
“When my boyfriend got back yesterday, I got pissed at him and asked him about the photos.”
“He said that I was being weird but I pressed on for a couple times and he got pissed and called me a pervert.”
“He hasn’t called or texted me since.”
“AITA?”
“I mean I feel like the pictures were kind of weird.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP found little to no sympathy from the Reddit community, with just about everyone agreeing that the way she behaved made her the clear a**hole in this scenario.
Everyone agreed that the OP was grasping at straws in thinking that a kiss on the cheek or an arm around the neck between two siblings suggested an incestuous relationship, and that her accusations likely stemmed from jealousy.
“YTA.”
“Getting jealous of a sibling, and reaching for it to be sexual when it’s not, is on a whole other level of toxic that I frankly didn’t think was possible until now.”
“Stop caring about what other people think and work on your own sh*t.”-twal1234.
“YTA, they’re brother and sister. “
“Not friends, not exes.”
“Some families show affection a bit more than others but it means nothing.”
“You’re coming off as jealous and needing of reassurance.”- AMobOfDucks.
“YTA.”
“Why are you sexualizing this? “
“Like your family has never kissed you on the cheek.”
“They were having a good time, and you let your jealousy get the better of you.”
“YTA YTA YTA.”-casualselfhatred.
“YTA – That is some next-level jealousy.”
“He won’t stick around long if you keep that up.”- BeepBlipBlapBloop.
“Yes, YTA.”
“His pics, his choice.”
“It’s not as if it’s pictures with someone he’s having an affair with.”
“Seriously, how are you this jealous over his sister?”- lesbian_goose.
“YTA.”
“First, you were hurt you weren’t asked to go along.”
“Second you were jealous they had fun.”
“Third (and many feel this way, you’re not alone) you have issue with showing affection among family.”
“YOU have this hang up. “
“Not him.”
“Your issue.”- tinny36.
“YTA, petty and jealous.”
“The only thing that’s bothering you about the pictures is you weren’t in them.”
“You haven’t heard from your boyfriend because he is assessing either he wants to be involved with someone who thinks untorrid things about him and his sister.”-Shaggymaggie.
“YTA and your boyfriend is totally right to feel insulted and icky about how you reacted.”
“You basically said he’s in an incestuous relationship with his sister because you’re jealous that you couldn’t go on a road trip and of how they take sibling pictures.”
“This is absolutely a ‘you issue’ and one that if you can’t/don’t apologize for, you should know could end your relationship.”-Disneyland4Ever.
“YTA.”
“You’re jealous of his sister.”
“Stop sexualizing familial affection.”- Sword_Of_Storms.
“YTA- wow how dare they show sibling affection.”- shadow-foxe.
“YTA.”
“Imagine being jealous of your boyfriend’s sister.”
“What kind of man do you think he is, and if you think he’s that kind of man, why are you with him anyway?”- cinnamon_everything.
“YTA.”
“It’s clear you don’t know what it means to have a loving sibling relationship.”
“You’re just looking for a reason to be mad at him to get back at him for not inviting you to the trip.”-Scary_Inevitable379.
“YTA and insecure enough to mistake a sibling relationship for something else.”
“I’m a bit uncomfortable for your boyfriend.”-Unkle_bad-touch.
“YTA – you just sound jealous.”-mizfit0416.
“YTA.”
“Get over your jealousy.”
“It’s really weird to assume that.”- whimsyemilee.
“YTA.”
“Majorly.”
“If you can’t handle a loving family relationship between siblings, you sure as hell can’t handle a romantic one.”
“You’re freakishly insecure & it’s not surprising he hasn’t called.”- frick298.
“YTA.”
“If you’re this jealous of a sibling, there is absolutely no way you’re going to be able to make a healthy relationship work.”- Guardian-Boy.
“YTA.”
“If you’re worried about people mistaking them for a couple, then don’t date guys with sisters close to their age!”
“Honestly though, couples and siblings get mistaken for each other all the time.”
“You want him to take down pictures of a fun trip for no other reason than your own insecurity.”-mdthomas.
“YTA, if you don’t have a good relationship with your siblings don’t project that onto others.”
“Kissing your siblings on the check or hugging them is normal.”-n_q50.
“There’s nothing wrong with those pictures, NOT A DAMN THING.”
“Time you refine your porn searches.”
“YTA, disgusting.”-I-Dont_Like_You.
“YTA.”
“Siblings can be affectionate.”
“That’s not weird.”
“It may not be what you are used to, if you don’t have that kind of relationship with your siblings, or are an only child.”
“But there is nothing wrong with siblings who are close.”- guppytub.
“YTA.”
“Nothing wrong with pics os brother and sister hugging or kissing on the cheek.”-TheHominiLupus.
“Nah, YTA.”
“Having grown up with multiple sisters myself, I can guarantee a kiss on the cheek between siblings is normal for some siblings.”
“You’re reading far too much info it and I agree with your BF here, possibly even a bit perverted.”
“If there were pictures of tongues going down each other’s throats, that would be another thing, but cheek and forehead is completely normal.”-AshenPheonix.
“YTA and I’m hoping you’re an only child?”
“If you have siblings and don’t know the kind of appropriate sibling physical affection, that’s really sad.”-Sooozn85.
“YTA.”
“Stop sexualizing them.”-Sensitive-Hurry-4548.
“If i had a dollar for every post I’ve seen recently of an insecure and immature adult sexualizing a sibling relationship I’d have paid off all my student debt.”
“YTA.”
“That’s his sister.”
“What is wrong with you that THAT is where you went.”- b00kw0rm_.
Many felt that the OP’s accusations hinted at a bigger problem, and she should consider seeking professional help.
“You are accusing him of an incestuous relationship with his sister because you think sibling affection is weird, you got some issues you should talk to a professional about.”-DetailEducational917.
“YTA.”
“More to the point, you need help with a really weird type of jealousy. “
“You’re so jealous that normal affection between family members is setting you off.”
“That’s not good for you, or anyone else who’s in a relationship with you.”
“I come from a pretty reserved non-demonstrative family (we do hug, but we’re not super touchy-touchy kissy-kissy), and even I get that this is totally normal for family members.”- canvasshoes2.
“You should seek therapy ASAP!!”-Plus_Market_762.
“Get therapy and YTA.”-Snark_Knight_29.
“YTA you’re so insecure that you’re ready to accuse them of incest because they’re affectionate.”
“Get yourself help.”- CoastalCerulean.
“Seek help.”
“YTA.”- dingthewitchisdeaf.
“OMG are you kidding?”
“You’re jealous of your boyfriend’s sister?”
“YTA – and you need to get help.”-My_genx_life.
Some even went so far as to say the OP’s boyfriend should get out of this relationship sooner rather than later.
“A kiss on the cheek and an arm around her neck?”
“Oh my god in my family we are all lovers then.”
“YTA and if I was him I would seriously have a talk and re evaluate the relationship.”-Facu-Nahu.
“LMFAO!!!!! “
“YTA. “
“Your BF is hopefully trying to figure out how to dump you.”- RugbyJesus.
Indeed, if the OP’s mind went directly to that possibility after simply looking at pictures, she might have a number of issues to work out.
It’s also sad to think this whole situation could have possibly been avoided had she simply been honest about her feelings.
Here’s hoping that the OP will find the help she needs to overcome her jealousy in the future.