People with allergies often find themselves in awkward conversations when eating with friends or family.
Sometimes, they find themselves unable to eat food being served to them, as their host innocently forgot about their allergy.
Other times, people might find themselves intimidated to order a certain food, knowing someone has an allergy, sometimes making the one with the allergy feel bad.
Redditor throwra29375629 found themselves in a somewhat precarious position, as she happened to be severely allergic to one of her husband’s favorite foods.
But after one too many instances where she found herself suffering an allergic reaction, the original poster (OP) felt there was only one solution.
Worried she was being too unfair to her husband, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for banning avocado from my house after my husband forgot I’m allergic for a second time?”
In a short, concise post, the OP explained how her husband’s forgetfulness proved to be the final straw in allowing a certain food in their house.
“For context we’ve been together 5 years.”
“I (28 F[emale]) am also pregnant with our first baby.”
“My husband (30 M[ale]) loves avocado.”
“Which I get, and have allowed in our house this whole time despite being allergic to it.”
“It won’t kill me but I have oral allergy syndrome and the main culprit is avocado.”
“I get hives when I even eat avocado oil, and sometimes when using any skin care products with avocado in them.”
“My husband walked into the bedroom tonight to give me a taste of the salad he just made.”
“He didn’t actually give me a bite with avocado so I didn’t think anything of it until my gums started burning.”
“I walked into the kitchen and saw the grocery receipt which said two hass avocados on it.”
“I asked him if he put avocado in the salad and he said ‘oh yeah don’t freak out, I totally forgot I put avocado in there’.”
“The first time was when he cooked tuna steaks with avocado oil and my entire arm broke out in hives.”
“I took two Benadryl and am now waiting for my gums to stop feeling like hot fire but in the middle of yelling at him I told him no more fucking avocados in this house.”
“He can eat them at restaurants and literally everywhere else but if he can’t keep it from me then they’re banned.”
“He just said he was sorry he forgot.”
“I feel like this is my only solution.”
“So AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community agreed the OP was not the a**hole for banning avocados from her home.
Everyone agreed since the husband demonstrated he couldn’t reliably prevent contaminating her food, banning avocados from the house was definitely the only choice. Many also urged the OP to drive home how dangerous her husband’s apparent carelessness is, if not to leave him entirely.
“NTA.”
“However…your husband needs to learn to remember important things like this.”
“What if your child has a food or medicine allergy?”
“Husband can’t just say, ‘Don’t freak out, but I almost killed the baby today’.”
“Banning avocados is a temporary measure, but you need to calmly discuss this with him.”
“Bring up the possibility of your child having an allergy and ask how he’s going to remember?”
“He must do better.”
“Best wishes on your little one! I hope you’re feeling better now.”- columbospeugeot
“NTA.”
“You’re allergic.”
“How hard is it to remember not to give you something to which are allergic?”
“I’m allergic to several foods.”
“My husband, who often can’t recall anything I tell him for more than 10min, always remembers my food allergies and is very careful regarding them.”
“If your husband takes your allergies seriously and cares about you, he would remember them.”
“If you are allergic to other things, be proactive and ban all of them from the house now.”-GreenEyedKittyCat
“Trying to ban avocados from your house will not deter your husband.”
“He simply doesn’t care about your allergy.”
“In your shoes, I would have my medical provider document into the medical file the two instances where your husband knowingly exposed you to your allergen.”
“You have no idea if your child will be allergic, but are you willing to wait for an allergic reaction in the child to document your husband’s disregard for your allergy?”
“Please be proactive about this before something worse happens.”- kxz231
“NTA.”
“But also given that your husband has intentionally tried to expose you to avocado oil to prove that you won’t have a reaction, I don’t think he’s forgetting, i think he doesn’t care.”- hwutTF
“NTA.”
“My spouse gets explosive diarrhea if he eats mushrooms.”
“I don’t feed him mushrooms.”
“No problem.”
“Your husband really needs to get his head on straight.”- Just_A_Sad_Unicorn
“NTA.”
“I don’t think this was an accident though.”
“I think he’s purposefully testing your allergies for some reason.”
“This could harm you and your child so I wouldn’t eat anything you didn’t prepare or watch him prepare.”
“I just wouldn’t trust him anymore.”- Kitkatangel123
“NTA.”
“But I honestly doubt he forgot you were allergic to avocados.”
“He had just made it and then had you taste it.”
“He is either dangerously air headed, or he deliberately had you taste it to test your allergy.”- Aether-Wind
“NTA.”
“He must not think the pain is a very big deal.”
“I’d eventually lift the ban but considering the fact that you’re in pain and he’s not just beside himself with guilt…he’s not going to be careful in the future either.”
“Sorry you are dealing with this.”
“ON TOP OF BEING PREGNANT.”
“Ban ’em.”- maroongrad
“NTA.”
“Either your husband is a moron, or actively malicious.”- JoChiCat
“This is ignorant of him at best, malicious at worst, NTA.”- BookofSacrifice
“NTA.”
“Wow!”
“You say this isn’t a fatal allergy.”
“Each time you have a reaction the chances go up for that.”
“Also hives and gums bleeding is considered a severe reaction.”
“You should have an epi-pen ready.”
“He is dangerous to your health and safety.”- Every-Self-8399
“NTA.”
“Your request seems reasonable if he keeps being negligent.”- stacity
“NTA.”
“Oral allergy syndrome is no joke.”
“It can get worse over time, if he can’t remember the one thing that can harm you then banning it is the only solution.”
“I have OAS with mango and when I spent some time with a friend on holiday they were conscious of foods and avoided it for themselves even though I only have a reaction when I eat it.”
“We were in a place where mango is a staple and could buy them on any street corner so it was a lot of vigilance in terms of food.”- Comprehensive-Ice770
“NTA of course he knows you are allergic.”
“He doesn’t care.”
“He is going to keep on accidentally feeding you avocado.”- Which_Pudding_4332
“NTA.”
“I have a similar allergy and my spouse actively scours ingredient lists for food that would trigger my allergy.”
“I’m also pregnant and he never orders food, even for himself, that would be an issue for pregnancy.”
“I say all of that to make it clear that your husband isn’t just mistaken, he’s behaving malevolently.”
“Banning avocado is just a stop gap when it comes to the fact that he’s actively poisoning you.”
“He’s choosing to buy things you’re allergic to and to expose you to them.”
“He’s choosing to harm you.”- baconcheesecakesauce
“NTA.”
“Your husband is an AH.”
“He doesn’t care enough to remember you are allergic.”
“How difficult is that to remember?!”
“t’s a very simple allergy.”
“Much easier than peanuts, because tons of processed foods have peanuts in them.”
“It’s his own fault!”
“Does he even have a job?”
“Is he forgetting important things at his job by any chance?”- Coco_Dirichlet
“Oh honey, you have got way more problems than him trying to give you avocados every once in awhile.”
“I just read your post history, your husband is on drugs and refuses to quit because he’ll ‘do what he wants’ and doesn’t believe that you were pregnant or that you’re not doing drugs.”
“You said you have financial difficulties and you can’t afford to leave him right now, honey I understand it’s hard but you should not be with somebody who doesn’t care about whether or not you’re allergic to something, doesn’t believe you about very important things, and who doesn’t care what you think about his very hard drug(cocaine) use and obviously doesn’t give a f*ck about you or the baby if it doesn’t benefit him.”
“Run, run far.”-ButterflyDead88
“NTA.”
“You have to work within the boundaries of what your spouse is capable of doing.”
“If he is not able to remember about avocado, then he shouldn’t bring it into the house.”-Jazzlike_Crew_3956
One mistake could be understandable.
But after multiple allergic reactions, it’s hard to think the OP had any other choice.
Perhaps living in an avocado free home for a few weeks will be just the lesson her husband needs to be more careful, possibly allowing him to enjoy his avocado toast in the morning once again.