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Woman Called ‘Homophobic’ For Trying To Stop Her Sister From Dating Her Sister-In-Law

Photo by Norbu GYACHUNG/Unsplash

It is amazing when we find someone to share out hearts with.

It’s suppose to be a time of joy.

But sometimes not all relationships are going to be embraced.

And that can be a painful pill to swallow.

Case in point…

Redditor Liftedtrcksrus wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for demanding my wife to stay out of her sister’s love life?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My wife has known about my twin sister’s sexuality since we met.”

“We’ve been married for 5 years.”

“About a year ago, my sister confided in me about the feelings she had for my wife’s sister.”

“She thought nothing would come of it since no one knew anything about Jennifer’s sexuality, plus my sister felt weird about it being her S[ister] I[n] L[aw].”

“Regardless, I told her she should go for it since I had noticed them subtly flirting with each other.”

“As things quickly transpired, it turned out Jennifer was in the closet but had mutual feelings for my sister.”

“Their relationship for months was kept well hidden from everyone, but the entire family noticed how happy Jennifer had become.”

“Finally, they were both ready to get things out.”

“My wife, myself and our sisters met for dinner one night.”

“My wife was in shock, having just learned her sister was also gay.”

“She was silent most of the dinner, as we left she spoke her mind in the parking lot as she said, ‘This some disgusting redneck sh*t I won’t support, or even acknowledge your relationship.’”

“My wife was disappointed in me that I had known for months, but never told her.”

“It wasn’t my place to tell and I honored my sister’s request to keep it hidden until they were ready.”

“I came in from work the next evening after the dinner, my wife was on the phone with her father.”

“As he said, ‘If you would have listened to me and not married him, his sister wouldn’t have made my daughter gay.’”

“He’s always hated me and that only angered my wife.”

“My M[other] I[n] L[aw] on the other hand was very happy for Jennifer and my sister.”

“Week went by and there was really no mention of their relationship.”

“I had to stay late at work one night, I received a frantic call from my sister.”

“My wife and her father showed up at Jennifer’s house to talk some sense into her head.”

“My sister was there and things turned nasty with their father.”

“I left work because I could tell over the phone with the screaming in the background how things were heading.”

“By the time I got to the house, their father was already gone, he’s a coward.”

“I pulled my wife out of the house and made her go home.”

“Our sisters were upset, crying and feeling horrible about things.”

“I went home and had it out with my wife.”

“I told her it’s not her place to dictate what her sister does with her life.”

“I furthermore told her if she can’t keep her mouth shut about their relationship, then she needed to stay out of her sister’s life completely.”

“She accused me of trying divide the family along with my sister.”

“Also told me it wasn’t my place to tell her to stay out of their life.”

“But honestly it’s not her place to pick and choose who her sister loves.”

“My wife is not homophobic, she always supported my sister’s sexuality.”

“I’ve tried getting her to see the good in their relationship.”

“I want nothing more than my sister to be happy after the s**tty life we had growing up.”

“But my wife is seriously acting like their cousins or something.”

“I don’t see the issue or feel my wife’s embarrassment over their relationship.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.

It’s a tricky situation.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“Your wife is homophobic. It’s a N[ot] I[n] M[y] B[ack]Y[ard] thing.”

“She’s ok with it being someone else’s sister that’s gay, but not when it’s one of her own.”

“I was all ready to pronounce you the a**hole for using the word ‘demand’ with your wife, but having read this: NTA.”

“I’m super happy for your sister and Jennifer! “

“Continue to support them like you’ve done so far. T can be hard.”  ~ slb609

“It’s not incest as there is absolutely no blood relations between them…”

“My grandmother married my grandfather.”

“My grandmother’s sister married my grandfather’s brother.”

“That were the two happier marriages i’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

“Plus my grandmother and her sister were best friends their entire lives. It was just perfect.”

“They lived in the same village, saw each other all the time and their kids were also best cousins and best friends.”

“Even their kid’s kids were friends.”

“I lived 4 years in the same house of one of the other grandkids while studying.”  ~ smegheadgirl

“I’m sorry, but your wife is definitely homophobic.”

“This is some NIMBY s**t, like people who aren’t racists until their new next-door neighbors are Black.”

“I’m sorry you’ve been blindsided by this.”

“You’re NTA, but you will be if you don’t kick your wife–who was involved in terrorizing your sister and hers just because they’re two women in a relationship–to the curb without delay.”

“There is no seeing both sides here.”

“And there’s no point in staying for you.”

“Your wife chose the side of her father, who thinks she never should have married you.”

“I’m sorry, but your marriage is over.”  ~ religiouslydecaf

“Seriously. OP’s wife TRAUMATIZED both of their sisters, the fact that OP isn’t already out the door is nuts to me.”

“That was some seriously unhinged behavior that will permanently damage their relationship with the sisters.”

“I would be surprised if either of them still wanted to speak to OP if they continue staying with their wife.”

“Even if they do end up breaking up, I don’t think they’re gonna be interested in keeping ties with that family.”

“That’s such an insane line to cross!”

“I cannot fathom how anyone could move past that.”  ~ Aggravating_Weight83

“Your wife is being completely out of line.”

“You say she’s not homophobic.”

“But it very much sounds like an ‘it’s okay if it’s your family but NOT mine!’”

“Situation, hidden under the guise of the sister/sister in law thing.”

“Your wife needs to worry about her own life and stop thinking she has a right to comment on someone else’s life.”

“It is absolutely not her business.”

“There is definitely someone that’s going to divide the family, and it’s not you.”

“NTA.”  ~ FriendlyFraulein

OP had a few things to say…

“I honestly never even considered that before since my wife has always had a good relationship with my sister, she practically lives with us most of the time because we’re close.”

“Well before they hooked up.”

“But now I want to pick my wife’s brain about her sister still being gay without my sister.”

“NTA. Your wife is homophobic.”

“Im sorry if that’s a reality you’re coming to see now.”

“A lot of homophobic people will hide behind the notion of ‘I love everybody and support others lifestyles!!… until that lifestyle gets to my family.’”

“They will then shift that notion to ‘so and so are making them gay/trans!!!!”

“We need to save them!”

“Sounds like she got it from her father.”

“Full offense she along with her father are definitely the a**holes here.”  ~ Psyechic

“NTA. Your wife IS HOMOPHOBIC!!”

“Her reaction was based on bigotry and she also let her father go to the sisters house to yell at her?”

“I would be thinking if I want to stay married with someone so controlling and abusive.”  ~ Obvious-Somewhere-11

OP came to give us an update…

“Edit to add: About an hour ago I started talking to my wife about this.”

“I asked her… why do you have a problem with your sister being gay?”

“Said she has no problem with it.”

“I then asked her, if she was with any woman other than my sister, would you be ok with it?”

“She answered yes.”

“Then an opened ended question, I said so you would be fine with your sister being with someone you absolutely don’t know.”

“Someone that could be a drug addict or a criminal?”

“She said her sister wouldn’t go with anyone like that.”

“So with that being said, apparently my sister has good morals and is an overall good enough person that your sister would choose her.”

“Wouldn’t that make you happy knowing she’s with a safe partner? No answer.” 

Well it looks like OP is plenty supported by Reddit.

This is a sad family situation.

Love is love.

Everyone deserves to be happy.

Hopefully happiness can be found here.