There are very few people who don’t have elements of their past which they aren’t proud of.
It’s also understandable when people become outspoken in how glad they are when these elements have changed for the better.
As long as it comes from a place of truth.
Redditor Throwaway_11112021 found themself somewhat at their wit’s end when their sister continued to bemoan her family’s history, in spite of the fact just about everything she was complaining about wasn’t true.
But concerned they may have overstepped, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my sister we were not poor because that’s a lie??”
The OP first filled readers in on their sister’s newly acquired employment, as well as the upbringing they shared as children.
“I have a sister that’s a lawyer.”
“She finished law school and passed the bar exam last year.”
“In January of this year she started working at a law firm.”
“To make my post make sense I want to explain that the type of law she does is called ‘Big Law’.”
“This means her starting salary was over $200,000 a year. “
“I didn’t even know there was such a thing until she got the job.”
“Since she got her job she won’t shut up about how much money she has now, how she isn’t poor anymore and how she can’t believe how her life was before her job.”
“The thing is though, she was never poor.”
“Both our parents had well paying jobs.”
“They are homeowners.”
“We always had enough food and new clothes.”
“We took a vacation to places like Disney, national parks or the beach in Florida.”
“When her and I got our licenses our parents helped us to each purchase a used car.”
“Our parents assisted her with college her bursary and scholarship money didn’t cover so she has not a lot of debt.”
“Our parents paid her credit card.”
“Besides summer internships during law school this job is her first job.”
“We never had to work as teenagers and students because our parents helped us.”
“We didn’t have a mansion and servants and millions but we hardly lived in poverty.”
The OP then explained how their sister’s ongoing tendency to bring up her current salary and poor childhood began to wear on them.
“Normally I honestly wouldn’t care if she talked about her salary.”
“I’m admit I’m slightly envious she makes almost 4x my salary right out of school [though I’m well paid for this area and doing fine] but her talking about it doesn’t bother me.”
“I only got annoyed when she started telling everyone she used to be poor or questioning how my parents, myself and other relatives can live on so little.”
“I also thought the novelty would wear off but it has been 10 months and if anything it has gotten worse.”
“She told my mom she is glad her future kids won’t grow up wanting anything like her.”
“I had to mute her on social media because all she talks about is her money and how she isn’t poor now.”
“The last time she asked me how I could afford a plane ticket to California when I ‘barely make any money’.
“I responded she needs to stop pretending she was ever poor because it is a lie.”
“Now she is claiming I’m jealous of her money and that I’m poor when she isn’t.”
“I don’t see her online because I muted but my cousin said she’s been posting about sibling jealousy and family being envious of her money.”
“It’s grating on me for months.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors were unanimous in agreeing that the OP was not the a**hole in this situation.
Several Redditors were appalled by the behavior of the OP’s sister, believing she had no idea what it was actually like to be poor.
“Hard NTA.”
“From the sounds of it, your sister doesn’t know the meaning of the word poor, let alone what it’s like to actually be poor.”
“I’m not trying to ruffle any feathers here, but I can remember going without food on multiple occasions growing up so my younger brothers could have a full meal that night.”
“I can remember having the water and electricity cut off until we could get an emergency payment made, because my mother was between jobs right after my father passed away.”
“I remember a conversation my mother had with the vice principal of my school, telling him that if it came down to choosing between putting food on our table and buying clothes to comply with the new school dress code, she would choose the former.”
“Your sister sounds like she wants to enjoy the high life while pretending she’s overcome some sort of hurdle.”
“A hurdle, I might add, that is no laughing matter for those of us who actually have had to experience it.”
“Again, NTA.” – thatonefallenangel
“NTA.”
“I think continuing to ignore it is the best, anyone who knows anything about how you grew up will know she is being ridiculous.”
“Chances are most people see her posts and judge her, not you.”
“If she wants to continue to embarrass herself, let her.”-photosbeersandteach
Some felt the need to point out that the OP’s sister’s job is highly taxing, and will likely take its toll on them physically and emotionally, but still firmly took the side of the OP.
“NTA.”
“She’s being a major brat.”
“She will hopefully stop being so insufferable soon.”
“Keep in mind that she will be working such insane hours to meet her billables that she will be spending her money on shoes from NeimanMarcus.com at 11 pm from her office on a Friday night.”
“Big law ain’t pretty. (Don’t ask me how I know this lol).”
“Anyway, muting her is understandable until she stops trying to convince herself and everyone else that the money is worth it.” -psatty
“Nothing wrong with what you said.”
“Keep in kind that most Big Law lawyers are miserable.”
“A good salary and impressive title are about the only consolation they have.”
“Chances are she keeps focusing on money, because that’s all she has going for her.” – mt_guyot
For their part, the OP admitted to being grateful in learning more about what their sister’s job entails, and expressed how they don’t have any ill will directed at her, merely her falsely complaining about her unlucky childhood.
“Oh wow. I didn’t know that.”
“Of course what I know about law could fit in a thimble as evidenced how I had no idea about Big Law until my sister got her job.”
“I don’t wish her to be miserable but that’s good information to know so thanks for sharing that.”
At least one Redditor expressed how money is a fairly common issue of tension amongst families, and expressed hope they could eventually find an understanding.
“NTA sounds like she could use a bit of a reality check and imo it’s a little tacky to always be talking about how much you make.”
“However, I would also say try ur best to work it out with her because money related things coming between family is the worst.”
“There is a point though where you can only put up with so much, so I hope it all works out and wishing you the best of luck!” – een476
Indeed, here’s hoping the OP’s sister will soon realize how her constantly talking about money could jeopardize her relationship with her family.
Something money can never replace.
And based on everything the OP mentioned about their childhood, it seems the OP and their sister were fairly lucky with the family they were given.