Though it’s easier than ever to find someone to date, it’s harder in other ways, because of how easy it is to falsify information. One Redditor found this out when she went out on a date with a guy she thought was in his early 20’s but was only 18.
Redditor “welcome_to_favortown” shared her dating experience in the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit, wondering if she should have just let the guy off the hook instead of making him cry.
The Redditor went on a date with a guy she met on Tinder.
“I (22 [Female]) Went on a coffee date with this guy from tinder after talking for about a week. On the app it said that he was also 21.”
“When I got to the coffee place he looked kinda like his pictures but a little younger making me question his age.”
Something about the situation seemed off.
“So, I decided to ask him if he wanted to get a drink later. He started acting kinda weird and looked nervous before suggesting dinner instead.”
“This was odd to me bc he had previously said that he enjoyed drinking.”
“During the date he also said he worked somewhere else then he had told me via text making the whole interaction seem ‘off’.”
She finally brought this to her date’s attention.
“At the end of the date I asked him to drive me home and when we were in front of my apartment I brought up the inconsistencies between what he texted me vs what he said and asked to see his ID.”
He reacted in a way she didn’t expect.
“He started crying and apologizing and showed me his ID. He was 18. I felt really bad for making him cry esp bc I didn’t plan on going on a second date.”
After receiving negative feedback from a friend, the Redditor wondered if she was in the wrong.
“I told my friend about it and she said I should have let it go and there was no need to embarrass the guy.”
“So AITA (Am I the a**hole)?”
Her fellow Redditors commented anonymously on the OP’s (Original Poster’s) date, using the following scale:
- NTA: “Not the A**hole”
- YTA: “You’re the A**hole”
- ESH: “Everybody Sucks Here”
- NAH: “No A**holes Here”
Some pointed out it was important for the OP to confirm his age, especially since he turned out to be a minor in some respects, like when it comes to alcohol and cigarettes in most of the United States.
“NTA, definitely. You had to be sure. Since his story didn’t make sense the right thing to do is check just to be sure.” – DailyCoffee98
“NTA for sure! What he did is irresponsible! I know that many people under 18 use tinder/lying about age! So you can never be too careful!” – as123199
“NTA. If he had gone along with it and you bought drinks for the two of you, you’re the one who gets in trouble for providing a minor with alcohol. If he was younger and you two decided to have sex thinking he was 21, you know his parents would raise hell on you for statutory rape.”
“You didn’t make him cry. He realized he got caught lying and he felt guilty/embarrassed for his own actions and made himself cry, which he deserved.” – imsohungrydude
Others agreed and said she shouldn’t feel bad for making the guy cry.
“NTA. Never, ever, feel bad about ‘making’ someone cry because they’ve lied to you.”
“Believe me, they’re only crying because they’ve been found out. Most liars won’t give you the satisfaction, so when it does happen, point and laugh. Be happy you’ve seen through them!” – C2BK
“This! Never feel bad because someone is upset about the consequences of their own actions. If he didn’t want to get caught lying, he shouldn’t have lied.” – summebrooke
“This. Lying about your age is the tip of the red flag iceberg. Dodge that bullet.” – WXGirl83
A few also reminded the OP of how dangerous this situation could have been.
“Yeah, but if you already have a sketchy vibe DON’T GO. If you are gonna go home with a stranger, it’s [one] thing, but don’t get invite yourself into their car when you already think they are lying to you.” – Grizzzlysquids
“And don’t call out a shady guy while he’s literally in the driver’s seat! You don’t know how he might react. Yikes!” – IMIndyJones
“Yes ! I did that one time and the guy started stalking me.”
“Also NTA” – SenpaiNoticeYou
In today’s dating culture, it’s almost crazy how much information can be falsified.
Though it may be a little awkward in the moment, it’s best to confirm this information, though, so no one gets in trouble, and so there’s no confusion later in the relationship.