No matter how old we get, we’ll unlikely stop being scolded by our parents as long as they are alive.
And even though we aren’t technically under their care, being scolded by one’s parents doesn’t get any easier the older we get.
In certain circumstances, should they be expressing their disappointment or disapproval of our life choices, being scolded by one’s parents might even become more difficult.
Of course, the biggest benefit of being an adult, is that should we not be living under their roof or being financially supported by them, we are no also not at all beholden to their punishments.
Something Redditor throwaway372828282 made abundantly clear upon a recent return visit home when she was actually told to “go to her room”.
Making the situation all the more shocking, or somewhat laughable, to the original poster (OP) was that the punishment wasn’t even inflicted on her by her mother.
Worried that she still didn’t handle the situation as well as she could have, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for laughing in my mother’s friends face when she told me to ‘go to my room’?”
The OP explained how her estranged relationship with her mother was met with horrendous disapproval by her mother’s friend, something the OP wasn’t bothered by in the slightest.
“I (25,F[emale]) don’t speak to my mother, like at all.”
‘I had to go to my mother’s house today to pick up an important document that I left behind when I moved out seven years ago.”
“As soon as I got to the house, my mother suddenly had a massive ’emergency’ and realized that it was apparently her friend’s funeral today and she completely forgot about it.”
“I couldn’t help but internally roll my eyes, as there is always some drama hence why I have gone no/very low contact.”
“She asked me if I would watch my two younger brothers (7 and 11) whilst she went to the funeral, and I said absolutely not, as it’s my only day off, I have plans, and I have no relationship with them due to my mother stopping them from seeing me for years.”
“I just wanted to get my birth certificate and leave.”
“My mother asked her friend if she would babysit and asked me to stay for 10 minutes until her friend came.”
“I didn’t even get the opportunity to say no before my mother left the house.”
“I was seething but resolved to wait 10 minutes.”
“My mother’s friend turned up and started berating me for not agreeing to look after my brother’s whilst my mother went to the funeral.”
“I said ‘I don’t have anything to do with my mother, it’s my day off work, and I’m under no obligation to look after anyone else’s children’.”
“My mother’s friend then told me to ‘go to my room’.”
“I laughed in her face and started to leave the house, and she asked me where I was going.”
“And I told her, ‘my room, at my apartment, that I pay for with my big girl job.”
“Because I’m an adult, not a child.”
“And don’t ever speak down to me like that again’.”
“And I left.”
“My mother has left me loads of messages and missed calls saying I’m an AH for the way I spoke to her friend.”
“I do admit I look kinda young but I still am not happy with the way my mother’s friend spoke to me.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for laughing in the face of her mother’s friend.
Everyone agreed that not only was the friend’s punishment ridiculous but that she had no right to inflict it on the OP, no matter how old she was, as she was not her child.
“NTA The audacity to try and send someone else’s adult child to their room.”
“I would have laughed too.”-Fantastic-Focus-7056
“You’re NTA now and you’d have been NTA if you had been a minor.”
“She had no business speaking to you that way regardless.”
“The fact that adults can quite often get away with behaving badly towards children because children don’t usually have the ability to do what you did here doesn’t mean that their behavior is good, it just means they can get away with it.”
“She behaved like an a**, and you spanked her.”-_ewan_
“I think you handled it pretty well.”
“Sounds like you Mum was misleading her friend.”
“Sounds like the friend had been told you were being mean not helping out with your little brothers, suspect she missed out the fact that you don’t live there and barely know the boys because she denied you a relationship with them.”- Is-this-rabbit
“I actually quite admire your refusal to get drawn in.”- NoreastNorwest
“Lol about going to your room.”
“For future reference, you can get your birth certificate at the city hall in the city you were born in.”
“You didn’t need to go to your mother’s house.”- tatersprout
“Your mom’s friend was very inappropriate, and there was nothing wrong with your response to her.”
“I don’t blame you for laughing, either.”-WolfMaiden18
“You handled that beautifully.”- ifallupthestairsalot
‘You stood up for yourself appropriately: you acted like an adult speaking with another adult, your mother is trying to treat you like a child and you’re not allowing it.”
“That’s awesome, and I bet it took a while to get here after your childhood with her, be proud.”-fixinursh*t
“In fact, I think it would have been impossible for you to respond any better.”-mdkroma
“Did she think you were a child/still living at your moms?”
“Makes me wonder what the friend has been told.”- Schnarkysquirrel
“If you speak to your mother again, tell her that you expect the same respect and consideration from her and her friends that she expects from you.”
“Full stop, not up for discussion and age has jack sh*t to do with it.”
“I would have laughed in her face, too.”- SeaWitch1031
“Her friend is ridiculous for thinking she can talk to a grown ass woman like that.”
“And ya mom is nuts.”- chuckinhoutex
“Did she think you were 16 or something and that you lived there and refused to babysit?”
“Is that what your mom told her?”
“Also, you don’t suddenly forget about your friend’s funeral so she probably planned this.”
“How long did it take for her to agree to get her friend to babysit when you said no?”
“I would have just followed her out the house.”- Loose-Fold6570
“Mom’s friend was condescending.”
“You are not a child and she has no right to treat you like one.”
“You did exactly what she said to do anyway.”- AuntySocial1964
“NTA I had a laugh too.”
“So thank you.”- persian_hunter
“I think you handled that really well, and the best you possibly could.”- Gregboi6969
“Although I don’t think you needed to ask anybody here to know that.”- ArtlessOne
“Your mom and her friend are both AHs.”- Admirable-Frog-3748
‘Couldn’t have said what you did better myself.”
“The AH friend was ridiculously out of line.”
“NTA you’ve haven’t talked with your mother a lot or seen your own brothers in seven years ever since you’ve moved out, you are effectively living life on your own only coming to get important documents upon which your mother randomly thrusts responsibility onto you which you have not agreed to then leaves the home and after ten minutes you are then berated not by your mother but her friend like they have any right to parent you and they then try treat you a 25 YEAR OLD adult as a their own child.”
“That’s literally insane.”- darnmanthatsucks
“All I had to read was your age before I decided NTA, because there’s no good reason to (seriously) tell a 25-year-old to go to their room lol.”
“But then I read the rest of the post and wow, yeah definitely NTA.”- PerfectlyChaoticFeet
“Other snappy comebacks include, ‘I haven’t had a room in this house for seven years’.”
“You gave a far more polite response than I would have tbh.”- Malmorz
“I love the my big girl job.”
“And her friend knew dang well who you where and how old you where she was trying to put you in your place but you beat her to it.”
“If you live in the us contact vital statistics.”
“And pay for a copy of your birth certificate.”
“It be a lot easier then dealing with your mothers drama.”
One could possibly understand the friend of the OP’s mother being upset by the fraught, distanced relationship the OP has with her mother or brothers,
Even so, she should know not to stick her business into other people’s noses.
And might have also considered her punishments a little more carefully, as since the OP hadn’t been living in her mother’s house for the past seven years, she technically speaking didn’t have a room to go to.