Practical jokes – pranks – are a time-honored tradition in many friend groups.
Of course, not everyone finds them funny.
What happens when a prank goes from frustrating to insulting?
This was the problem facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) Harmony_345 when she came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for outside advice.
She asked:
“AITA for leaving early from my husband’s party?”
She started with the history.Â
“I(28 Female) and my husband(30 Male) are newlyweds.”
“We got married this August and had a very small wedding.”
“We just bought a wonderful townhouse that is great for us and our 2 dogs.”
“We both work full time and split the bills.”
“All of the families get along very well and we couldn’t be happier.”
Everything was great except…
“The only issue that we have is that his friend group likes to make jokes and pull pranks on people.”
“They post all of their videos on social media and will pull pranks on people that aren’t expecting them.”
“I have voiced my concern with my husband and he will tell them to tone it down.”
“When my husband hangs with them, his personality will change.”
She gave an example,
“My sister(25F) had a birthday party this past June and they decided to squirt invisible ink all over her dress.”
“She was devastated and I spent the rest of the night fighting with my husband.”
“His reaction is always the same ‘It’s just me having fun with the boys’. “
Then to the problem at hand.Â
“We celebrated his birthday on Monday and had his party at his parent’s house.”
“I went over earlier to help set up and baked my husband’s favorite dessert, Dutch Apple Pie.”
“I put some whipped cream on the pie and placed it in the fridge.”
“The party seemed to be going great until I saw one of his friends carrying the pie I made and slams it into my husband’s face wishing him a Happy Birthday.”
“Husband was laughing and went to clean himself off.”
“I was shocked and speechless, I said goodbye to his family and left.”
Later,
“When husband came home, he was pissed that I left and told me to take a joke.”
“I have been giving him the cold shoulder since.”
OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for leaving early from husband’s birthday party?”
Having told the story, she beseeched Reddit for a ruling.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
For some, it was about consent.
“NTA.”
“His friends clearly don’t care how their actions affect others, your husband is completely disregarding your feelings, and wasting the dessert you made especially for him was disrespectful.”
“If he wants to interact with his buddies like this, he needs to do so away from your family and any other innocent bystanders.”
“While his friends may consent to pranking each other, the other victims clearly did not.”~GrymDraig
And,
“NTA.”
“You spent time and effort baking his favorite dessert.”
“What happens if other people wanted some and it’s not available because his ‘friend’ did that.”
“It’s one thing to bring a separate pie to do that with, but they destroyed something you did for him.”
“You can have ‘fun with the boys’ without being a nuisance to people around you, which it sounds like they are.”
“Your sister definitely didn’t ask to be a part of their pranks.”~InfamousAdvice
Others suggested distance.Â
“Why do you spend any time around these awful people?”
“Your husband included.”
“Do you cook for him every day?”
“Stop doing it since he doesn’t appreciate your efforts.”
“Don’t let him off the hook for this or he will keep doing it, dude can eat sandwiches for dinner from now on.”
“And I would refuse to be around them anymore and if dh invites them then you don’t participate, birthday or no.”
“And I also wouldn’t allow them around any of my friends and family, dude wants to hang around with the tweens he can do it alone.”
“*Oops, supposed to be under Op’s post.”~CJSinTX
The husband did not escape scrutiny.
“That ‘change’ is him letting down his guards and being his true self.”
“Don’t ignore that.”
“Don’t ignore him being mad at you when you didn’t do anything.”
“Don’t ignore him ruining your sister’s dress.”
“And most important don’t ignore him not seeing anything wrong with these actions.”
“This isn’t a change, it’s him being himself.”
“You have to decide if you will enable this to continue in your life, or stop it.”
“It’s time to have a conversation with him about limiting the ‘pranks’ to only between the boys and in ways that 100% do not affect anyone else.”
“If he won’t it’s time to leave or decide to have that a part of your life forever and you’re deciding you’re okay with it.”~PsychoTink
There were calls for recompense.Â
“NTA.”
“Tell him he owes you an apple pie.”
“He buys the ingredients, he makes it from scratch, he cooks it.”
“Maybe then he’ll understand how much work you put into it.”
“You don’t prank people by destroying other people’s hard work.”
“You don’t prank people by making clean-up work for others.”
“If his friend had been an ethical prankster and had pretended to bring out your pie but it was actually shaving foam in a pie dish, and done the pie-in-face prank – and had then brought out the real pie for everyone to enjoy, and helped clear stray foam from the carpet?”
“Then it might have been funny.”
“But destroying your handmade present to your husband? That could never be funny.”~Normal-Height-8577
There were also thoughts of the future.
“Please do not have children with this man.”
“Ask him to explain why things that hurt others are ‘fun.’ Ask him why destroying someone else’s hard work is a ‘joke’.”
“He will huff and puff and _not answer_ because there is no answer.”
“He’s either garbage or he’s a child, and either way you shouldn’t have kids with him.”~OneCraftyBird
Pranks have their place for some friend groups.
The problem is that there is never a place for disrespect, cruelty, and childishness.
We hope that OP and her husband work out the issue, of course.
Remember, a joke is only funny when everyone laughs.