Being an adult living at home with your parents is bound to cause a few awkward issues. But it’s something more and more people are having to get accustomed to with the economy and housing markets in the insane spiral they’re currently in.
Since more and more young people are staying home, the awkward horror stories are popping up more and more on social media.
We’re pretty sure this recent one on Reddit takes the cake, though.
It involves a young woman, a self-love session that got interrupted, a toy left out and a mom who meant well but has no idea how awkward she made things.
Buckle up, folks. We’re about to take a ride on the cringe express.
All Aboard…Â
Firstly, let’s identify the players involved:
- We have the Reddit user, who we will call OP. OP is a 20 year old woman who had previously lived alone for several years. She is back at home with her parents and siblings for “personal and medical” reasons.
- Next, we have Mom. OP’s mother who means well, but seems not to realize when she takes the ball and runs it into the awkward zone.
- And finally, we have Toyfriend – the inanimate bedroom buddy at the center of the shenanigans.
Now let’s focus on the incident. OP found herself home alone one morning and decided to indulge in a bit of self-love, as people do. In the interest of getting where she was going, she opted to bust out Toyfriend to help.
Just as things were escalating from good to awesome, she was interrupted by a phone call from a company she had applied to work for. Having her priorities straight, she ditched Toyfriend on her bedside table and took the call.
Apparently her phone interview skills were great, because the company asked her to come in immediately for a secondary interview. Excited about the opportunity she got up, got dressed and headed out.
Unfortunately she forgot about Toyfriend and left it abandoned and uncleaned from being mid-use, just chilling on her bedside table.
Fast forward a few hours and OP arrives back home after the interview. As soon as she walks in the door she gets the “we need to talk” from Mom.
Cue OP’s inner monologue:Â
Mom takes OP to her room where she explains that she had gone in to drop off some mail and noted the used toy on the bedside table. Mom assured OP that sex toys were fine, but she needed to do a better job of hiding them, just like Mom does.
Mom then explains that she saw the toy was dirty, so she took it upon herself to clean it with a toy cleaning solution and just put it back where she found it so that she and OP could talk about it.
OP was understandably pretty uncomfortable with the idea of her mother cleaning her sex toys for her, but mom didn’t seem to make a big deal out of it. #MomLife, you know?
The conversation then steered, much to OP’s chagrin, to a more-detailed-than-necessary account of Mom and Dad’s sexual shenanigans. It’s been days and OP is still not over it.
So obviously she needed to tell Reddit the whole story:
“Obligatory note that this occurred a few days ago, and I’m still fully processing this. (Additionally, this is my first post on Reddit – from my knowledge – after about half a year of snooping in the background.)”
“Some background: I am a 20 year old female. I am currently at home again, after living away from home for about two years. Moved back due to various personal and medical reasons. The transition hasn’t been smooth, as most people who have to move from a more independent state to back with their parents can vouch for; but they’ve kept their distance and respected my privacy.”
“The day I f-ed up begins peacefully. Parents go to work. Sister goes to school. I’m working on some homework for the nearby community college I now go to.”
“I’m suddenly horny. Just pops up out of nowhere. Happens to the best of us. Probably due to me not quite finishing from the night before (another unrelated story). Since I’m alone in the house and the day is still young, I decided to do something about it. Lie down on bed, grab a d*ldo that I had bought online ages ago from my closet (where I keep such things) and pop some porn on. So there I am, blissfully unaware of my surroundings for about 15 minutes and frankly enjoying myself.”
“However, I was rudely interrupted by a phone call which, looking at the caller ID, indicated it was from a job that I had recently interviewed for. I promptly throw the dildo aside onto my bedside table, as more important things have arisen for me.”
“Before the call is completed, they had asked me to come in to complete a secondary interview. ‘Would now be a good time?’ I assure them that it was, being that I was utterly free for remainder of the day.”
“So I quickly changed into more professional clothing and scurry out the door.”
“Cut to the late afternoon, my mother intercepts me when I walk in the door from my interview, asking to talk. She sits me down on my bed, and she pointedly looks at the table beside me. I follow her gaze.”
“F*ck.”
“I had completely forgotten about the d*ldo from earlier this morning. Even though it was only a fifteen minute session, I am someone who tends to (in a way to put it lightly) get wet and orgasm extremely easily. I’ve never had to use lube with any partner I’ve been with. So it’s safe to say that the dildo had been completely coated in [fluids]. Which had, of course, had dried over time, becoming a disgusting flakey and sticky mess.”
“I stammered something unintelligible out, but she interrupts me and states that she had cleaned it for me, so I didn’t have to worry about it. She then proceeded to drill me about cleaning my toys and keeping them hidden.”
“Turns out she had come in to my room to drop off some mail that had arrived for me, and had spotted the d*ldo on the table. Then, she had proceeded to pick it up, cleaned it with toy cleaning solution/water and replaced it back at the same spot.”
“She kindly tells me that it’s okay, but to hide her toys better like she does. She ends her statements saying that my father doesn’t know where she’s hidden her toys and it’s been years. This leads to a more lengthy conversation, unprompted by me, about her sex life with my father and toy cleanliness.”
“This is too much for me, and I’m honestly still processing it. I am also thoroughly mortified on so many different levels.” – xxravenwings1
Take a moment to process.
Lord knows Reddit users needed it before responding. When they did, though … they did not hold back.
The major issue at hand was the cleaning.
“Good lord. I guess your mum is one of those ride or die chicks. No effing way would I touch someone’s crusty d*ldo unless i was sleeping with them. I hope you’re nice to your mum lol” – PatrickNewman
“Okay, so everyone seems to be commenting on how nice it was your mom cleaned it, but I kind of see that as a huge overstep/violation of boundaries. Not that it should have bothered her because it’s your room, but if it did bother her so badly, she should have just mentioned it and left it at that.” – kinetochore21
“This is weird as sh*t. In my opinion your mom has boundary issues.. Who cleans their kid’s d*ldo?” – SalemSalami
“Your mom sounds great. Like, here’s some uncomfortable but relatable issue I’m just gonna goddamn address because you gotta learn some things and I’m kinda the person in charge of that. By the way I hit reset for you, no judge-o, just watch it in the future for everyone’s benefit. She’s seeing you as an adult, or genuinely trying to. Appears to be doing so in a kind (if awkward AF) way. Try to remember this is probably a brand-new situation for her as well. With her attitude I’d imagine your reason for neglecting it will be quite appreciated. Good luck on the job!” – expespuella
“God this is so cringy. I’m a parent. I have 3 kids. If I go into one of my kids rooms, and see a freshly used clam dagger sitting out in my kids bedroom…you close the door and nope the fuck out…like any NORMAL person would.” – PeeTee33
Reddit users couldn’t decide whether mom cleaning the toy was awkward or awesome, and honestly neither can we.
******
Have you listened to the first season of George Takei’s podcast, ‘Oh Myyy Pod!‘?
In season one we explored the racially charged videos that have taken the internet by storm.
We’re hard at work on season two so be sure to subscribe here so you don’t miss it when it goes live.
Here’s one of our favorite episodes from season one. Enjoy!