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Woman Who’s On Probation Whines To Sibling About Not Being Able To Drink On Her 21st Birthday


Relationships with alcohol is a worldwide issue.

Something meant to be fun has ruined lives and generations.

So it’s always a miracle when someone gets a wake-up call.

Especially a wake-up call that could’ve ended in tragedy.

Case in point…

Redditor knifetic wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for not sympathizing for my sister who can’t drink on her 21st birthday due to probation?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“Title pretty much says it all.”

“My younger sister got into a near-fatal accident earlier this year due to blacking out drunk behind the wheel.”

“And walked away with only a nosebleed and some bruising.”

“She crashed into a telephone pole though, and took out an electronic crosswalk sign as well.”

“I was both furious and devastated when I got the news.”

“But mostly relieved I still had a sister, and that miraculously, no one else was hit.”

“She isn’t even of age yet, and I’ve been told that is why her charges will be more intense.”

“She is to be on probation and attend weekly rehab sessions for a year.”

“And just came to me upset that she won’t be able to drink on her 21st birthday next year.”

“I, however, am happy that she is finally being taught a lesson.”

“I said that it shouldn’t matter.”

“She is lucky she is alive.”

“And that if she is sad about not being able to drink, it is no one’s fault but her own.”

“I said that I can’t pretend to feel bad about it because I feel strongly about her being sober.”

“She snapped at me for this.”

“But I genuinely don’t feel bad at all, as it actually is no one’s fault but her own, and have tried to steer her away from alcohol for years.”

“It was always kept in a locked cabinet which was then broken into.”

“I tried to suggest removing it completely from the house but my mom did not want to.”

“At the point of this incident, I was living across the country. Thoughts?”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

Let’s hear some thoughts…NTA.

“Your sister shouldn’t be allowed alcohol again until she proves she’s mentally mature enough.”

“The fact that she’s more concerned that she won’t be able to drink than the fact that she could have killed someone is concerning.” ~ IndependentFuel

“She sounds like someone who maybe should never drink.”

“She’s very young, so she could grow into a responsible drinker, but her attitude kind of indicates otherwise.” ~ BaitedBreaths

“As a recovering alcoholic (and addict but let’s focus on drinking) she absolutely sounds like a budding alcoholic.”

“She’s already itching to drink next year after nearly killing herself!”

“She clearly didn’t learn her lesson yet and shouldn’t be trusted around any substances that can be misused.”  ~ Illustrious_Bison_20

“‘Aww poor baby, are you being forced to be responsible for your own actions?'”

“She could have killed herself or others because she is irresponsible, self-entitled, and an all-around stinker of a person!”

“Nope! She does not deserve an ounce of pity from anyone!”

“OP, you are NTA!!”

“Your sister however is a huge AH!”  ~ Betrayed_Orphan

“NTA. If she was willing to drive black-out drunk before she turned 21.”

“I’d hate to think what might happen if she did so when she is legally allowed to buy alcohol from anywhere.” ~ Katonica

“NTA, this is a classic case of ‘f**k around and find out’ she messed up and in a MAJOR way.”

“She should be glad this is ALL she’s gotta deal with.”

“She could have caused so much more damage.”

“These are the consequences of her actions and something she needs to learn how to accept as she moves further into the adult world.”

“Honestly she should be kissing the ground she’s not facing a ‘vehicular manslaughter’ charge.”  ~ LarchStreet

“NTA- good for you not enabling her.”

“Being able to drink on your 21st isn’t a big deal unless you’ve never drank before.”

“I don’t know why people make it seem like some big thing.”

“It sounds like you were just being honest, she should be more upset with herself.” ~ Odd_Hedgehog_7354

“NTA. She made the decision to drink and drive.”

“She could have killed someone else (or herself) due to this decision.”

“The fact that she didn’t and was only sentenced to probation and rehab, is beyond lucky.”

“She’s 20 and depending on where you live, she could have thrown away the rest of her life that night.”

“The fact that rehab was part of her sentencing suggests to me that she may have challenges with alcohol addiction or dependency.”

“Even if this is the case, you’re NTA.”

“However, her distorted priorities and thinking could be a result of that.”

“From one older sibling to another, good luck.”

“It’s not easy watching younger siblings make shi**y life choices, especially when you can see the consequences coming from a mile away.”

“Hopefully by the time she completes her rehab counseling, she’s able to understand how f**ked up her priorities are and start getting her life back on track.”  ~ SpookyHec

“NTA, and I would remind her that she was lucky back then.”

“The next time she gets behind the wheel drunk, she could get herself killed.”

“Or worse, get someone else killed.”

“The world already has too many families broken by drunk drivers.”

“We don’t need anymore.”  ~ sonicANIME2019

“What her sister did was awful. And there is nothing wrong with what OP said to her.”

“But if her sister is an alcoholic it makes sense that she would be struggling with the idea of being sober on her birthday.”

“It’s likely most of her social interactions and friendships revolves around drinking.”

“OP was right to bring her back down to reality.”

“But it doesn’t mean her sister won’t be successful in rehab.”

“People giving up addictive substances or behaviors often go through a grieving process.”  ~ Frosty-Ad8676

“NTA. If anything her reaction is a sign to enlist family in increasing the pressure to get her problem under control.”

“What’s the point of drinking on your 21st if you’re already getting blackout drunk semi-regularly before then, anyway?”

“How is it different from partying any other night?”  ~ inkpaperdream

“NTA- your reaction was understandable.”

“I get that her talking about her 21st would be frustrating and baffling.”

“It also sounds like she has a serious issue with alcohol.”

“And I hope she’s talking about this with her therapist or support group.”

“If she’s an alcoholic then letting go of alcohol means letting go of how she has been coping with life.”

“It’s terrifying.”

“It also means grieving the fantasy of what she thought certain moments of her life would be.”

“I don’t say this because I think you should have responded differently.”

“The people that love her need to ground her back in reality and the incredibly reckless thing she did.”

“But it’s helped me to understand what loved ones with addictions are dealing with.”

“If her rehab has a family night it could be helpful to check it out.”  ~ Frosty-Ad8676

“NTA. I’m about 2 and a half years sober, and even though I was making myself very very ill towards the end of my drinking.”

“I am still thankful that I had just enough sense to avoid getting behind the wheel while drunk.”

“Your sister f**ked around with a car – which is heavy machinery and all too easily lethal.”

“And her desire to drink does not even compare to the potential loss of life, disability, and damage she could have caused.

“The fact that not drinking on her birthday is what she’s focused on suggests big, BIG problems with alcohol for her.”

“I hope your sister can get help, for her sake and the people around her.” ~ kromeriffic

OP returned with an update…

“I didn’t expect this to spark so much discussion but I’m glad the consensus is to remain firm.”

“We are STILL fighting about this and it’s hard not to feel guilty for saying I do not feel bad that she has to deal with the consequences.”

“She will also be losing her license for a period of time.”

“For more context, like some of you suspected alcoholism and addiction do run in the family.”

“My father is an alcoholic and the only surviving child out of his siblings due to overdoses.”

“I don’t know how it skipped me but I got some other fun issues as a trade-off.”

“Thanks for the input everyone.”

Well OP, Reddit seems to understand your feelings completely.

It sounds like you have a firm grasp of your decision and the situation.

Hopefully, your sister will soon worry more about what could happen if she doesn’t stay the course rather than when she can grab her next drink.

Either way, she is lucky to have you in her corner, even if she doesn’t see you there yet.

Good luck to all.