Being selected as a member of a wedding party can be stressful on its own, especially for a wedding with an accelerated timeline.
But is it wrong to drop out of a wedding due to awful treatment, even if it puts the bride in a bind?
Redditor YellowyEcho recently ran into this issue with her sister’s upcoming nuptials, so she turned to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) to see if she was in the wrong.
“AITA for pulling out of my sister’s wedding as her bridesmaid with only a small amount of time to go?”
The original poster (OP) was initially hopeful after being asked to join her sister’s bridal party.
“My sister (30f[emale]) is getting married in a little over two months. She got engaged in January and everything has been fast moving.”
“She asked me and three of her friends to be her bridesmaids. We all said yes.”
“I was apprehensive but my sister and I always had an okay relationship and I hoped this meant we could be closer. But that has been far from the truth.”
But things quickly soured thanks to her sister’s best friend.
“We had three dress appointments and the last two her best friend has been really sh*tty to me. Making fun of my weight and pointing out that I’m the less pretty sister (which is something I have lived with my whole life pretty much).”
“My sister said nothing. I brought it up to her between appointments and she brushed me off and said I was always too sensitive.”
“Not even when her best friend suggested I wear a trash bag so it would hide my disgusting body. Our brother was there and pretty much was the only person to stand up for me.”
“And then he encouraged me to drop out of the wedding, told me I deserved better, and so that’s what I did.”
Her decision to drop out has only sparked more drama with her family.
“My sister freaked and now I’m left with her making jabs at me and my parents think I should grin and bear it and just do it because it was such short notice.”
“They said they would talk to her and get her to make sure they treat me better. The pressure is on me and I have been called an a**hole for dropping out like this.”
Redditors weighed in on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
They were less than thrilled by the sister’s actions.
“NTA. Your brother is the best. Keep people like him around.”
“In terms of your sister, I suggest you throw the whole sister in the trash.”—ogurzhov
“Yeah keep the brother and dump the sister. She maybe pretty on the outside but she and her friends are ugly on the inside.”
“You don’t deserve them spewing that on you. Your parents shouldn’t be pressuring you to take that abuse.”—Tash8683
“NTA. Your sister should’ve thought of that before letting her friends treat you like garbage.”
“Your brother is right. You DO deserve better.”—brownies671
“NTA your sister doesn’t want you as a bridesmaid. She just doesn’t like the loss of control and you dropping out exposes how badly she was behaving.”
“Likewise, your parents are just protesting because it’s easier for them if you absorb her negativity and they can pretend their daughter isn’t a jerk. No one deserves to be treated that way and I hope you hold firm.”—Nyankh
One Redditor had some tough love for the OP.
“Seriously, it takes $0 and 0 effort to keep nasty comments to yourself. Bestie couldn’t seem to manage that and Sister did nothing to stop her.”
“I get the stress of wedding planning, especially planning one so quickly, but OP isn’t the one causing the issue here.”