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Woman Balks After Partner Criticizes Her ‘Power Plays’ During Interviews For Engineering Jobs

Woman on Zoom call
Luis Alvarez/Getty Images

Looking for a new job is a very stressful endeavor.

Sending out resumes, filling out applications, and then, of course, the dreaded interview.

Even though you have no idea what they might ask you, you always want to be as prepared as possible, making sure you’ll answer all questions in a way that highlights your skills, and make them want to hire you.

That is, of course, if this is a company you want to be working at.

When Redditor Fun-Construction-112 overheard their girlfriend interviewing for possible new jobs ahead of their move to a new city, they were appalled to hear how she was handling them.

But when the original poster (OP) confronted her about this, she had plenty to say in return.

Wondering if they had done anything wrong, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for criticizing how my girlfriend takes job interviews? She basically interviews them, and I feel like she isn’t taking it seriously.”

The OP explained why they felt compelled to intervene with their girlfriend after overhearing a number of her job interviews.

“My girlfriend is at a job she can’t do remotely, and we’re planning to move to another state together, so she’s job hunting right now.”

“Her first interview, she had a call with a top company whose recruiter had messaged her on LinkedIn.”

“I was expecting her to treat it normally, but she spent an hour grilling the company on its engineering practices then withdrew her application.”

“And the next few calls with companies she had, she basically grilled them all and decided against moving forward with four of the six.”

“I told her around then, that I feel like she’s making a mistake, being so picky, and she’s gonna ruin her reputation in the industry if she’s going around taking interviews and cutting the process off early.”

“She said she wasn’t making any enemies, hell, the companies she dropped had been emailing and calling constantly, wanting to bring her in for another interview or asking her to reconsider.”

“If anything, she was a hotter commodity.”

“I felt like she was probably still hurting her reputation long term, even if her little power play was working for a bit.”

“She said it wasn’t a power play, it was professional, she just didn’t want to waste anyone’s time.”

“But the next interview I overheard started a big argument.”

“One of her final two companies had her taking a Zoom interview and she was laughing it up with an interviewer and he was telling her this story about how he and his coworkers fell off a barge into the river working on a project.”

“And she just was like ‘waiiit they had y’all doing that, not tied off to anything?'”

“‘Look as funny as that is, that’s honestly kind of f*cked up they put y’all in danger like that – I’m honestly gonna have to withdraw my application’.”

“She got off the phone and said ‘Damn, people really tell on themselves if you just listen and smile, did you hear that sh*t?'”

“And I said that I thought she ended it a little prematurely like didn’t even ask if they’d changed anything there, just ended the call.”

“I said it felt like she was trying to delay getting a new job, was she getting cold feet or something?”

“She said no, this is literally how people at her level interview, she was serious about the interview process and she wasn’t interested in walking into a sh*t show.”

“I said that was BS, she was sabotaging herself on purpose basically haranguing the companies who want to hire her on the phone.”

“And she was like “why do they keep coming back for more then?”

“Like I’m critical, but I’m not wrong, and they know it.”

“We had this big fight where she insisted that anyone who was at her level of a career ‘interviewed’ by interviewing companies to see whether they were worth their time, just as much as the other way around, and I said that was BS.”

“She got mad I was telling her about her own career and said she knew it better.”

“I feel like she’s dragging her feet, she says she’s interviewing normally for her field.”

“AITA for arguing with my girlfriend about her interviews?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The OP received little to no sympathy from the Reddit community, who agreed that they were definitely the a**hole for the way they talked to their girlfriend.

Everyone agreed that the OP’s girlfriend was handling all her interviews completely correctly, and it was not the OP’s place to tell her otherwise.

“YTA your gf is actually doing this right.”

“She should be interviewing the company and withdrawing when they don’t meet her expectations.”

“They need her, she doesn’t need them.”

“I also don’t walk into sh*tshows.”

“I’m at the level and experience I don’t have to.”

“Sounds like she’s in the same spot.”

“It’s also her job, her life, and her decisions on how to manage it – are you going to work at these jobs with her?”


“Keep your nose out of it then.”- joeswastedtime

“I kind of went through this exact situation.”

“We wanted to move.”

“I was applying and got recruited to some.”

“Asked their practices like normal and turned away a few.”

“My husband had the same concern.”

“I had to explain there’s a caliber you have to hold the company to and yourself to if you plan on growth.”

“He didn’t get it until I got this job.”

“I’m making double what was expected, moved, and my husband doesn’t have to work.”

“He’s dancing in grocery stores.”

“I’ve never seen him like this.”

“Not going to say you’re an a**hole.”

“It’s a genuine concern.”

“But if y’all aren’t in the same industry, she may know what’s best.”

“Trust her.”

“Good luck.”- Dizzy_Philosophy_198


“Your girlfriend is actually approaching it well, and making sure she doesn’t end up working for a sh*tty employer.”

“She seems to be in a field that has leverage, so good for her.”

“You’re supposed to ask questions.”

“Compatibility goes both ways.”

“Also, it’s HER job.”- crispyfishd*cks


“Not only does her approach work for her, but she’s also being selective about taking the role that’s the right fit for her at the right price, and that’s the best thing you can do in a job search.”

“You are giving her terrible advice, and you really need to stop before she decides that you are telling on yourself and dumps you.”

“If you are going on interviews and not viewing the process as you also assessing them, you’re doing it wrong.”- rainyreminder


“Interviews are to determine if the position is a good fit for BOTH parties.”

“That is why it is called an interview and not an audition.”- Bitter-Conflict-4089

A contrite OP later returned with an update, confessing that they didn’t handle the situation as well as they should have.

“Welp, you’ve convinced me.”

“Plus all the other comments lol.”

“I apologized to her, and we talked stuff out a little.”

“TBH it’s a lot of culture shock for me.”

“I’m a first-generation college student, and I’ve never heard someone speak in an interview the way she did, and TBH I think I’ve been kind of hurting over how easy it is for her to go ‘thanks but no thanks’ to roles offering 150k – 300k yearly.”

“In my field, the most I’ll probably ever make is like 70k, and that’s at senior levels.”

“And I feel like I was just so incredulous that anyone would even consider turning down that kind of pay (she makes 160k now so any of those jobs would have been a great salary!).”

“But she’s a PE, which means she’s liable for whatever work she does and holds herself to a really high ethics standard, and she had real concerns that a bunch of the companies she’s interviewing with could kill someone doing what they’re doing.”

“Which was also a shock to hear TBH, that a bunch of well-regarded companies are apparently sketchy as hell behind close doors.”

“Like I was so caught up in the ‘how tf could someone ever reject 2 or 300k from several top companies?'”

“That it didn’t really hit me that her concerns were literally deadly serious.”

“And I jumped to thinking that she’s dragging her feet on moving, which tbh might be a bit of an insecurity too.”

“So thanks to everyone who commented, I needed the wake-up call that I was being a d*ck.”

“And apparently a dumba** at job interviews too haha.”

No doubt, it’s hard for some people to fathom that others have the luxury to be picky about their jobs.

Perhaps the OP might not have been quite so judgmental towards his girlfriend after giving it some thought.

The fact that the OP’s girlfriend also seems to be moving to this new city for their convenience makes her even more entitled to be picky about her new job.

One can only hope she’ll find one which will make her happy.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.