Choosing the perfect name isn’t always easy.
Whether it’s a pet, a stuffed animal, or a stage name, the name lottery can take lots of thought.
Picking a child’s name can be the most difficult.
Many parents agonize over it.
And then some people know the perfect name from the beginning.
Redditor AcademicPop7165 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for walking out the room after my brother told me the name of his baby?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I am only a teenager, but my mother had my brother at 16, making him in his 30s.”
“Ever since I was young I have always talked about naming my future daughter Scarlett.”
“I don’t know why, but I have always adored the name.”
“Every time the topic of babies, names, and children comes up I always say that my daughter will be called Scarlett, everyone in my family knows this.”
“Last week, my sister-in-law gave birth to a healthy baby girl, as you can probably guess, they named her Scarlett.”
“I was really upset at my brother because he knew that was my top name. I didn’t make a big deal about it; I just left the room, obviously upset.”
“Scarlett isn’t a family name or anything and my brother has never mentioned liking the name, one time he said he wasn’t a fan.”
“I asked him why he would name his daughter that, and he told me to stop overreacting and get over it and that I don’t own the name.”
“I get that It doesn’t belong to me but just because I am a teenager doesn’t mean that I am not allowed to have plans for my future.”
“EDIT: When I say I walked out I didn’t like storm out or anything I just excused myself.”
“A lot of people are saying that it’s common for cousins to have the same name, but not here and in my family.”
“And Scarlett isn’t a common name here ❤️❤️.”
“Some people are confused, I’m a girl.”
“And I’m not sixteen 😂❤️.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NAH… you’re young so everything feels stronger.”
“Stepping away was probably the right thing to do.”
“While your brother should have given you the heads up, the likelihood is that his wife picked the name.” ~ Remarkable_Table_279
“I don’t know if this would help or not; it’s just my experience.”
“I had an idea since I was a teen of certain names I would use. 100% certain.”
“Had my babies in my 30s, and my taste had completely changed.”
“What they did was shady, and downplaying your feelings and telling you to get over it is rude.”
“They know what they did.”
“That’s why people on here always say to keep your future baby names to yourself.”
“Another common suggestion is to get a pet and name it that name. Seems to really piss off the new parents. 😉” ~ gimmetots123
“I did this.”
“My S[ister]-I[n]-L[aw] had her daughter before I was pregnant with my son.”
“She knew I liked the name Isabel. My name ends in Elle, so I thought it would be similar to my name but not too similar.”
“She used it as a middle name, then told me I couldn’t use it anymore.”
“My husband (her brother) bought me a ferret which we named after her daughter lmfao she hates it.”
“I got pregnant and we had a son pretty recently.”
“My SIL and her husband were bitter AF because we had a boy, and they didn’t (we didn’t have a preference, just healthy).”
“It’s petty, but she’s the golden child, so I think my husband just got sick of her s**t.” ~ BakedMasa
“Another perspective on childhood dream names…”
“I loved the name Jasmine growing up.”
“Even to this day, I still love that name.”
“My husband hates it, and therefore, even if we have a girl next (the first was a boy… lol) I won’t use that name.”
“There’s also no guarantee you’ll ever have a girl to use the name Scarlett.”
“My sister had 3 boys before she finally had a girl.”
“I clearly wanted a girl, but now my heart has been completely stolen by my son.” ~ fantasynerd92
“That’s my thought too!”
“NTA. OP, I am proud of you for the way you handled yourself – making a calm exit under duress.”
“Keep calm and carry on Name your future baby girl Scarlett.” ~ Babziellia
“They all heard you talking about that name, probably, for years, and that got in their mix, and they went with it.”
“I think it’s pretty shi**y.”
“I also think someday, if you have a little girl, you should also name her Scarlett.”
“I think it’s an awesome name, and just like nobody owns names, there’s no law against cousins having the same name.” ~ Foolish-Pleasure99
“Maybe you can reframe it that Scarlett is such an awesome name that your SIL was also drawn to it/felt it fit your new baby niece.”
“Also, by the time you have kids, having two Scarletts will actually be awesome, if you are still 100% in love with the name.”
“Also, are at the perfect age to be the coolest young aunt/uncle, so chances are little Scarlett will think you’re awesome (whether you want her to or not 😅).” ~ shoujikinakarasu
“Yeah, great point!”
“Scarlett (1) will probably be a young teenager (depending on how old OP is exactly) and having a baby cousin also named Scarlett by her cool aunt that she adores would probably be super exciting and give them a precious bond.”
“Or, OP outgrows the name, or once she gets used to Scarlett being Scarlett she can’t imagine using it for a different kid, or maybe her baby daddy won’t love the name and will want something else.”
“It’s a long way off still, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.” ~ foundinwonderland
“NTA. Your brother is an AH for his reaction. He was really rude and dismissive of your feelings.”
“But since there is such a big age difference between you and your brother, I think you can feel free to name any future child you have whatever you like, regardless of what his kid’s names are.”
“The age gap means they won’t be going to school together or anything like that, so why should it be an issue?”
“If you have a daughter in the future, and you still feel that Scarlett is the name you love for her, then give her that name.”
“He doesn’t own the name any more than you do, so he can’t possibly have a problem with it, right?”
“And if your niece asks you about it then you can tell her the whole story — ‘I have loved the name Scarlett since I was a child, always told everyone I planned to name my daughter that.'”
“‘I don‘t have any idea why your mom and dad picked the same name for you.'” ~ Bookish4269
“You can still use the name.”
“I don’t think it’s odd if cousins have the same name.”
“Like he said, no one owns the name.” ~ Professional-Bat4635
“He was right in that you don’t own the name, any more than they do – so go right ahead and keep it for your child if you have a girl.”
“Just shorten your niece’s name to Scar in your house, and the problem is solved.”
“There’s really no reason in the world you can’t name your kid the same as theirs, especially when you already had the name picked out.”
“You already know what to say when they complain!”
“NTA it as a reasonable reaction, which I’m sure they anticipated.” ~ Drackoda
“When it’s only one name, and your family member has always said they want to name their child that, it’s an AH move to take it.”
“If it’s a list of names, then brother would be NTA.”
“If OP never had told anyone her favorite name, that would also be ok for her brother to buy his daughter that.”
“But it’s one name. How hard was it to pick any other name?” ~ hummingelephant
“NAH. He’s right that you don’t own the name.”
“There’s no guarantee that you will have a daughter or that she and her cousin will socialize.”
“However, he doesn’t own it either, and so if you go ahead and name your daughter Scarlett, and he freaks then he would be the AH.” ~ Brother-Cane
“I keep seeing NAH because she doesn’t own the name.”
“But I disagree the brother is totally an a**hole.”
“If you love your family and you know they love a name.”
“You talk to them before you use it.”
“I’m not saying that he couldn’t name his daughter that, but he should’ve had the conversation with her privately about why they wanted to use it.”
“I love the s**t outta my sister and if there was a name she was super attached to I probably wouldn’t use it (unless it meant a hell of a lot to me).”
“And if I was going to I’d have the respect for her to have the conversation, not expect her to manage her emotions about it in a group setting when it’s announced.”
“So yeah full-on NTA.”
“‘You don’t own a name’ doesn’t mean choosing a specific one doesn’t make you a d**k in some circumstances.” ~ Ok-Factor2361
“NTA. Your brother is right, you don’t own the name.”
“Which doesn’t mean that your disappointment is not a valid reaction.”
“It would seem that your brother does not feel an obligation to consider you as a sibling when making important decisions in his life.”
“Fair. But by that same logic, you, therefore, have no obligation to consider him when asked to provide free babysitting.”
“Fair is fair.” ~ DrTeethPhD
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Your brother could’ve at least offered you a warning.
We hope this doesn’t tarnish your relationship with your niece.