As fairy tales and folklore have taught us, the lies we tell, no matter how big or small, have a way of catching up to us.
“The Boy Who Cried Wolf” paid the ultimate price for lying about a wolf invading his flock one too many times, while “The Old Woman Who Swallowed A Fly” saw her lies grow and grow until she couldn’t take it anymore.
Even when we think our lies are merely in the interest of protecting someone, the truth will have a way of getting out, and those who were lied to will not be pleased to learn they were deceived.
Resulting in consequences for everyone.
Redditor Due_Obligation_3035 was excited to be expecting her first child.
However, what excited the original poster (OP) less was when her stepsister expressed her excitement about what she would name the baby.
As this information was falsely told to the OP’s stepsister by her father and stepmother, forcing the OP to give them an ultimatum.
After receiving blowback from her father and stepmother, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my dad to correct his and his wife’s lie to his stepdaughter or he can deal with the consequences?”
The OP explained why they were furious at the false information her father and stepmother told her stepsister regarding her baby’s name:
“My dad remarried when I was 12 after the death of my mom.”
“My dad’s wife was a widow also and had a 7-year-old daughter at the time.”
“I didn’t blend the way they wanted me to.”
“I don’t hate my dad’s wife or stepdaughter.”
“I never felt a family bond with them though.”
“But my stepsister can be really sweet.”
“She’s also special needs and behaves very young as a result.”
“She struggles to comprehend things the way someone her age (20) would.”
“And her view of the world is very young.”
“It makes her far easier to manipulate and upset.”
“There were times when I still lived with them that I had to be SO careful about what I talked about because she would get so upset.”
“Movies had to be very happy and cheerful and could not have death or bullying or any sarcasm in them because they could really upset her.”
“Which is why I’m so angry right now.”
“So I’m expecting a baby, and my stepsister was so excited the last time she saw me. She told me she was so excited for me to have a boy named after his dad.”
“I asked her what she meant and she told me my dad and her mom told her that I was going to name a boy after her dad like I’d name a girl after my mom.”
“She told me she hoped I had a boy, and she was so excited and easily believed that I was going to do that.”
“I mentioned this to my dad and he sheepishly admitted they had told her that and that they were going to ask me to consider naming a son after my stepsister’s dad because it would mean so much to her.”
“I told him I wasn’t going to do that, and he should have known that.”
“He told me they figured, but they also really wanted his stepdaughter to be happy.”
“I spoke to him with his wife present and told him to correct the lie they told or he can deal with the consequences of not doing so.”
“She told me I would be heartless to deny her daughter this.”
“My dad asked why I wouldn’t do it and I told him because I’m not the one who told the lie.”
“I told him the choice was up to him, and he can live with the consequences.”
“They said I was blackmailing them and playing games, which wasn’t fair.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for demanding her father and stepmother tell her stepsister the truth.
Everyone agreed that if anyone was doing anything close to blackmailing and playing games, it was the OP’s father and stepmother, who the Reddit community agreed seemed to be guilt-tripping the OP to name her child after her stepsister’s late father:
“Are they delusional thinking that you’d actually want to name your child for a man you never met?”
“Or did they plan to manipulate you into it by telling your sister you would?”
“You have some very strange parents.”
“I hope your late mother had a family you can hang on to because your nuclear family is not sane.”
“NTA.”- WantToBelieveInMagic
“Why would you name a child after your dad’s wife’s ex-husband!?”
“NTA.”- Disastrous-Assist-90
“NTA.”
“YOU’RE blackmailing and playing games?!?”
“You’re not the one needlessly stringing along someone who sounds like they are emotionally vulnerable.”
“That’s all on them.”
“Tell them they have X number of months (depending on how far along you are) to rectify this gently and REPEATEDLY.”- dart1126
“Wait a minute here.”
“You’re playing games and blackmailing them to tell them to deal with the effects of their coldly calculated lie to your stepsister?”
“That is the sort of projection a gamma ray burst could envy.”
“They are completely playing games with your stepsister’s emotions and blackmailing you.”
“That they’ve dared to blame you for this mess is jaw-droppingly arrogant.”
“NTA.”- Ilostmyratfairy
“NTA.”
“What they did was a**holery at a cruel and unusual level, though, given that they know how she would take something like that and not even run it by you first.”
“Who does something like that, who clearly knows the repercussions of such a lie and then tries to turn it on you in a manipulation that defies logic?”- hqubed
“NTA.”
“Nobody is blackmailing anyone.”
“Nobody is playing games, either, unless it is your dad and his wife, by telling her daughter something they didn’t know would come to pass.”
“This wasn’t your story they told her. It was theirs.”
“Unfortunately, she believed them, and now it will probably make her unhappy to find out that your baby will not be named as she was told.”
“No one has the right to name your child but you and the child’s father.”
“Your stepsister would have been excited for the new baby anyway. Why did they have to interfere and tell her something like that?”
“It’s just silly.”
“It’s too bad she lost her father, but he wasn’t even known to you, so you would have no reason to name your baby after him.”
“Your father and his wife need to own up to what they did and tell your stepsister the truth.”
“Yes, she might be unhappy about that, but she’ll get over it, and by the time the baby is born, this crisis will have passed.”
“That’s IF your dad and wife do the right thing and tell her NOW.”
“Congratulations on the new baby, best wishes for you all.”- TabbieAbbie
“NTA, obv.”
“As unfortunate as it is, you are going to have to be the one to tell her the truth if you want to continue having a relationship with her.”
“There’s no way those two are going to admit their fault when they tell her — you will be made out to be the bad guy forever, and by forever, I mean for the rest of your child’s life.”
“It’s perfectly fair for you to be angry to the point of being completely disgusted with them, but the question is what do you want, pragmatically?”
“Do you want to walk away from this mess?”
“Because you certainly can.”
“Do you want to continue being friends with your stepsister?”
“If so, think carefully about how you’re going to handle this.”
“There’s no way to avoid hurting her feelings, but you’ve been in each other’s lives long enough that there’s no one better equipped to get you both through this than you are yourself.”
“As far as your feelings, talk to your partner and/or a therapist or other bff you can trust.”
“How you deal with your family should be about your goals and how you want to come out at the end of this.”
“Your parents clearly aren’t interested in your feelings or your well-being, so my advice is to not even bother taking your anger to them.”
“It won’t do you any good.”
“Deal with them pragmatically, as a problem to be solved.”
“What do you want for the future, and what’s the most effective way to get you there?”-Treefrog_Ninja
It’s not uncommon for parents to name their children in honor of a loved one who may have passed away.
But what any parent chooses to name their child should be their decision, and their decision alone.
No doubt the OP’s stepsister will be devastated when she learns that the OP’s baby will not be named after her late father.
And the OP’s father and stepmother have no one to blame for her distress but themselves.