Whenever someone “does us wrong,” our initial instinct is to seek revenge.
“An eye for an eye,” as it were.
However satisfying as revenge may seem in our thoughts, or should we make it that far, how good it will feel in the heat of the moment, revenge ever seldom pays off.
As seeking revenge often results in people stooping to the bad behavior of others.
Redditor Lazy-Status-2209 had a fraught relationship with his father.
Entirely owing to the poor way he treated the original poster (OP)’s mother and the fact that he helped his son’s ex-wife during their divorce.
As a result, when he saw an opportunity to get back at him, he wasted no time taking it.
Wondering if his behavior was justified, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for giving my mom my dad’s tax returns to help her extend her alimony?”
The OP explained why he jumped at the chance to help his mother out at his father’s literal expense:
“I (37 M[ale]) spent most of my adult life working for my parents’ company—a small but successful firm that does litigation support, architectural design, project management, and engineering consulting.”
“Our whole family helped build it.”
“After school, weekends, holidays—you name it, we were there.”
“I started working there full-time right after high school.”
“My parents had a rocky marriage, mostly due to my father’s chronic infidelity.”
“He used the company’s resources to carry on multiple affairs and even hired sex workers for himself and for clients.”
“When my parents divorced in 2011, all this came out.”
“My sister and I sided with our mother, while our older half-brother (our mom’s son from a previous marriage) took our father’s side.”
“A couple years later, I split with my son’s mother.”
“My father then hired a lawyer for her—not just any lawyer, but the wife of a longtime client of his who had also been a close confidant during his divorce.”
“This husband-and-wife legal team took my custody case all the way to trial.”
“During the trial, it came out that they had been given my privileged medical records—by my father.”
“The judge admonished the attorney but didn’t pursue any serious disciplinary action.”
“Ultimately, we ended up with split custody after they racked up over $140K in legal fees.”
“I ended up suing my father over the breach of my privacy.”
“After two years of litigation, I dropped the case because my sister convinced me to—for the sake of our mom.”
“In exchange, my father agreed he would help her out as she aged and dealt with health issues.”
“Fast forward to now: My father makes over $1.2 million a year and has completely cut my mom off from alimony.”
“She has health problems and no other income.”
“Recently, he left his tax returns open on my laptop.”
“I gave them to my mom so she could try to extend her alimony.”
“Now my father says I crossed a line and that I’m violating his privacy and being ‘vindictive.'”
“But I feel like my dad’s the one who broke trust first—years ago.”
“So, Reddit… AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP Fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for giving his mother his father’s tax records.
Many felt that the OP gave his father exactly what he deserved, feeling a punishment for his bad behavior was overdue, even if some were concerned this could have dangerous repercussions in the future:
“NTA.”
“Wouldn’t he have effectively been lying to cease alimony in the first place?”- ghostiecatlol
“Even though I agree with the judgments here, I’m surprised to see people say OP is exactly like his father.”
“Unless details are left out, OP’s father is a serial cheater who embezzled from the company his family helped to build to get prostitutes.”
“When OP was getting divorced, his father vindictively hired a lawyer to make his son’s life miserable, including sending his medical records to the opposing side.”
“Then he agreed to support the mother in exchange for OP dropping his lawsuit but he went back on his word and did not help the mom despite him making over $1M/year.”
“OP sent his father’s tax returns to his mom to help her out since his dad went back on his word.”
“I get this is wrong, and this entire family is f*cked up, but the dad seems extremely selfish compared to OP.”
“NTA.”- Traditional_Bug_2046
“NTA.”
“Your father has repeatedly violated your privacy and sabotaged your life—giving privileged medical records to your ex’s lawyer?”
“That’s beyond betrayal.”
“Now he’s mad that you used his own financial documents (which he carelessly left accessible) to help your mother, whom he promised to support?”
“That’s just karma coming full circle.”
“His complaints about ‘privacy’ are hypocritical at best.”
“He played dirty for years—he doesn’t get to cry foul now.”- _imjustarandomdude_
“NTA.”
“He left the documents open on your laptop, and you didn’t steal them.”
“He broke a verbal commitment he made that he would look after mom if you dropped your lawsuit.”
“But it sounds like your dad isn’t a good person.”
“I would be prepared that he might try to get revenge in some way in the future.”- blueswan6
“NTA – your mother DESERVES alimony.”
“She DESERVES the care he promised, period.”
“F*ck him.”
“Trash father.”- bluboy_Books
“NTA.”
“If your Millionaire father is stupid enough to just leave his tax returns open on your laptop after he tried to screw you over by hiring a lawyer for your wife during the divorce hearing and giving those lawyers your privileged medical information then he deserves what he gets.”
“And also tax returns are not nearly as confidential as medical information.”
“I’m not even sure they’re actually is any confidentiality, legally speaking.”- confused_Struggling
“NTA.”
“He was never loyal and didn’t keep his word.”
“Face!”
“He gave your health documents to f@#$% you.”
“This is unforgivable!”
“But he wants all of that from you to him.”- YouAccording3896
“NTA.”
“Your dad sucks and I get why you did it.”- RedRedBettie
“NTA.”
“He got a taste of his own medicine.”- asblvckasmysoul
“NTA.”
“Because you’re helping your helpless mother, but you played it wrong. he will cut you off.”
“Why didn’t you you talk to him first about helping your mother self willingly?”
“You’re gonna get cut off, your mother not going to get help until the court trial finish and if she win.”
“What is she going to do till then?”
“Your father is some piece of work , I would play it differently I believe.”- Front_Requirement893
“NTA, I like your style.”- Full_Campaign5430
“NTA.”
“Dad taught you by example, why’s he complaining now?”- DangerLime113
“NTA in the slightest.”
“He showed you what was fair game years ago.”- GimmeMuchosMangos
“NTA.”
“Good for you for helping your mom out and by extension yourself and siblings (if you have them).”
“Your dad cheating your mom out of financial support would have eventually cost you, helping her was the right and responsible thing to do.”
“You were never vindictive, you simply followed your father’s example and looked out for your own interests.”- StrangeDaisy2017
“NTA.”
“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”- BSBitch47
“NTA.”
“Hope it helps your mom.”- FoundationFickle7568
“NTA.”
“Best thing you could have done for your mother.”
“Sounds like your dad only cares about himself as his past behavior proves that.”- Anonymous-Cat-24
“NTA.”
“Lmao at anyone getting pissy on behalf of the dogsh*t father.”- Snapplestache
“Your dad has been f*cking over his ‘family’ for over a decade.”
“The records were on your laptop.”
“Open for viewing.”
“On your property.”
“Open.”
“There’s no possible claim to privacy.”
“I suppose you could claim it, but it wouldn’t fly.”
“NTA.”
“It’s called karma.”
“Usually people get justice boners over this.”
“You are not like him.”
“Morally gray, yet for a good cause.”
“Since your father was lying his a** off to screw your mother over financially anyway.”- DoYouNeedAnAmbulance
“NTA.”
“Your father left his tax returns on your laptop.”
“He willingly gave your medical records (HIPPA) violation to his attorneys.”
“After everything your father put you through, I’m surprised you still work for him.”- MaeSilver909
“NTA.”
“F*ck it and drop him.”
“He sounds like trash anyways.”- SnooChipmunks770
There were a few, however, who felt the OP shouldn’t have sunk to his father’s level, even if they felt his father still got what he deserved:
“ESH.”
“He violated your privacy, and you violated his.”
“Two wrongs STILL don’t make a right.”- No_Yogurtcloset_1687
If the OP was hoping to ever make amends with his father, he seemed to preclude that possibility by exposing his tax records.
However, based on his past behavior, the OP’s father doesn’t seem like someone worth making amends with.
Nor does he really seem to have anyone to blame but himself, as he was the one who left his tax returns open on his son’s computer.