Instant Romen noodles are a go-to snack for many.
They can be very filling and perfect on those cold, winter nights.
They are ridiculously simple to make.
However, not everybody seems to be able to manage it.
To which we ask: "Sir, are you good?"
Redditor andromeda_witch wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
"AITA for not giving my partner instructions?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"Hey, first-time poster, I think."
"It's kind of annoying, and I wanted to ask people's opinions because it's been on my mind."
"So there are these instant noodles that you cook on the stove, then add sauce to."
"My partner (M[ale] 25) and I (F[emale]25) loved these so much, but I noticed that he would only eat them when I decided to make them."
"So I stopped to see something."
"Then he started asking me to make them again, but I refused."
"I told him to make it himself, and then he asks, 'How do you make it?'"
"I say to read the instructions."
"He gets annoyed and says, 'Why can't you just tell me? Why be difficult?" Because it's so easy???'"
"Needless to say, he didn't make the noodles."
"I feel bad because I thought maybe I was being difficult with him, but if I had to read these easy a** instructions, why can't he??"
"Why am I getting involved in this simple a** task?"
The OP was left to wonder:
"Am I the a**hole?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
"Sounds like weaponized incompetence to me."
"He knows how to make the noodles; he just wants you to do it for him." ~ YikesBabes
"This is what I came here to say!"
"I had this talk with my fiancé because he would call me frequently at work after moving in to ask how to use or do simple things that I had figured out myself."
"His response when I asked why he had to call me instead of figuring it out as I did was 'Well, why would I do all that when you already put in the time to learn and can just tell me?'"
"We had a talk about learned helplessness/weaponized incompetence."
"But I also had to learn to pick my battles."
"Sometimes, if you're already overwhelmed, it's nice to have your partner to help you, but it shouldn't be an everyday occurrence."
"Since having that convo, he really stepped up and started taking care of things on his own."
"Obviously, we still rely on each other when we need to, but I no longer feel like I'm parenting my partner." ~ PlentyCombination599
"This is how it starts."
"A simple bag of noodles and you end up with a lifetime of emotional and mental load." ~ Maiden_Far
"NTA. It's called weaponized incompetence, and men love to do this to see how much free labor they can get out of a woman."
"Don't fall for it and stand your ground."
"People treat you how you allow them to treat you." ~ brain-goblins
"This is called weaponized incompetence."
"He's pretending that everything is so hard to do so that he doesn't have to do it."
"Stand your ground. NTA." ~ panic_bread
"NTA. Why does he need you to tell him if it's on the package?"
"And it doesn't sound all that complex to begin with."
"This is emotional labor, even when you aren't doing the actual task, you are still expected to do work to teach him how to do the task." ~ Forsoothia
"NTA. I dated a guy a while ago, and I usually kept the mini halo tangerines around (the ones they advertise as easy to peel for CHILDREN)."
"If I ate one, I'd peel it and offer him half, and he'd always be really excited and say he really liked them but never bought them."
"One day, I was working from home, and he kept hinting that he really wanted one."
"I said, go for it, they're on top of the fridge!"
"But no, he 'didn't know how to peel them," and needed me to do it for him… cue our first blow-up fight."
"I won't claim I was super mature for absolutely refusing to do it, but I am very happy to not be in that relationship today."
"Your partner can figure out instant noodles." ~ SavVDW
"You know there's a guy in my life that does this exact same thing... my 12-year-old son."
"Your adult husband is acting like a child."
"NTA unless he doesn't know how to read, and you know that to be true." ~ chaoticly_neutral
"NTA. You did give him instructions."
"You told him to read the box."
"He's definitely having a try at weaponized incompetence."
"Don't feed into that."
"He's supposedly a fully-fledged adult."
"He should be able to fix himself a snack without your hand-holding and doing the mental work." ~ Mrs_Weaver
"It's called the slippery slope."
"Once you start doing the very simplest of tasks for him, he sees no reason to be self-sufficient."
"And you will end up being the person who bears the brunt of most of the household."
"The more concerning thing for me is his trying to bully you by saying, 'Why can't you just do it?'"
"It transfers blame and guilt to you."
"And these kinds of statements, while they seem small right now, escalate over time."
"And you begin to feel it's just easier to do everything yourself than have to debate every little thing."
"In other words... stand your ground." ~ Aging_Gracefully3
"NTA. If he can't be bothered to read a simple instruction, then how is he going to be in other aspects?"
"This is a red flag for me."
"He could, since I imagine he has to read and follow instructions at work, but he chose to be lazy."
"Watch out for this becoming a pattern." ~ Sea_Chocolate_3537
"NTA. He's perfectly capable of reading a noodle package and preparing the noodles himself."
"He just thinks that he shouldn't have to, because you're the woman and it's your job to take care of him like he is your son."
"This will most likely not improve over time." ~ spaghettifiasco
"NTA. When my husband was making us packet ravioli because I wasn't feeling well, I told him the packet was still in the fridge and that the instructions were on the packet."
"He did just fine."
"Your partner can read, so he can make noodles, but he is choosing not to... Which is a joke." ~ CrabbiestAsp
"If he doesn't have a disability (dyslexia, poor eyesight, anything that might make reading and understanding the instructions more difficult for him), then weaponised incompetence springs to mind."
"What would he do if he were single?"
"Never eat the foods he likes again, or work it out for himself?"
"Might be worth reminding him that weaponised incompetence is a really good way of finding himself single and hungry." ~ winebookscats
"NTA. You don't give much information about your partner, but is it possible that he cannot read, and has been going to great lengths to cover it up?"
"I once had a partner who was severely dyslexic."
"They compensated for it by having an excellent memory for the spoken word (much better than my own memory), and engaging in a million subterfuges, such as 'I've left my reading glasses at home; could you do me a favor and read this for me?'"
"I was dating them for quite a while before it dawned on me that they couldn't read much more than the simplest words."
"I can easily imagine them doing what your partner did." ~ ThisWillAgeWell
"NTA - it reminds me of what my son and I do."
"I ask them to make me a sandwich, and they ask me to make them a sandwich, and we both stand in the kitchen making each other's sandwiches."
"Why?"
"They claim to be able to taste the love, so I tell them I can taste their apathy, and it's delicious 😈." ~ esoraven
"NTA, he probably just wanted you to take over and make it."
"If he wanna be a child, I would pick up the instructions and read them to him and let him do the steps." ~ LakeaShea
"Normally, I'm not a fan of testing people to see what's up."
"But he introduced these noodles to you, and now he is claiming you're 'difficult' for not giving instructions?"
"It sounds like he's engaging in some sort of power play and is using noodles to do it."
"Either that or his mommy trained him to never touch a stove."
"Does he cook other things?"
"NTA, and frankly, if he's going to be that manipulative, he should've picked a different food." ~ Floating-Cynic
"NTA. Sometimes one tends to overrule the instructions, and he could've asked whether you ever did anything differently than what you were given. No?"
"Then he should make them according to the recipe." ~ DynkoFromTheNorth
"NTA. I am almost always happy to make something for my husband when he asks nicely, but if he were to play dumb and act like he couldn't do it for himself, there's no way that I would do it." ~ RuinsAndRoses
"NTA... show me becomes do it for me. He can just read the instructions and do it himself, or not eat them." ~ Long_Chemist1203
OP came back to chat...
"He can definitely read."
"I'm not sure how else to prove that he's an avid subtitle user."
"I also don't make the noodles any different from what the package says."
For context, he's also the one who introduced me to this brand of noodles, so he's made them before."
"I probably started eating and buying them a month or two afterwards."
"Honestly, I never thought of it as testing."
"I thought of it as me seeing a pattern, stopping it, and trying to see what the problem was."
"I could've been better at that."
"Definitely never meant it to be taken that way."
Reddit is with you, OP.
Noodles are easy to make.
He can handle making them.
Hopefully, this is just a little issue, and it doesn't get any bigger.
Happy Noodling.
