Weddings are a joyous celebration, celebrating the union of a happy couple.
Even so, there are few things singletons dread more than weddings.
Particularly when they don’t have a date.
It often reminds them that they have yet to find their soulmate, and they are often bombarded by people asking the dreaded barrage of questions, such as “Are you married?” and “Are you seeing anyone?”
Leaving many to wonder if it’s worth attending the wedding at all.
The sister of Redditor sheepplove was initially excited about attending their sister’s wedding.
Until, that is, they learned that their sister put some restrictions on the original poster (OP)’s invite.
Leading them to question if they even wanted to attend the wedding at all.
Wondering if this was the right decision, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for refusing to go to my sister’s wedding?”
The OP explained why they were having doubts about attending their sister’s wedding:
“Me and my sister are very close.”
“She got engaged a while ago and is about to have a big wedding.”
“She invited a bunch of people, letting everyone bring a plus one, if they have a partner.”
“Since I do not have one, I asked whether I could bring my best friend, due to the fact that I do not know a lot of people that are coming to the wedding, apart from my family, who I am not really close with.”
“She told me no, since the plus ones should only be the guests’ long-term partners, and I did not have an issue with that because I understand that weddings are expensive and every additional person would mean that they would have more expenses.”
“I was okay with that until recently when I found out that she let one of our cousins bring her boy best friend.”
“I was obviously upset since the said cousin was the only one I got along with, and this would mean that I would be more or less alone the whole time, as mentioned before, she said that the plus ones should only be the guests’ long-term partners.”
“She then proceeded to completely shut me off, by saying that the cousin helped her with coming up with decorations and she is going to be doing her makeup for her wedding.”
“I feel completely wronged, since I help her with her 10-month-old baby that I come and babysit every day for a couple of hours so she can have some alone time, and because she is understandably exhausted, I look after her dog almost every month when she and her fiancée go on a holiday, I helped her pick and find her wedding and after party dress, I helped her with decorations too so I really do not understand how I’ve done any less than the cousin.”
“It’s not just about me inviting my friend. It’s also about the fact that I completely feel unappreciated and dismissed when I devote so much time to make her life easier whilst I’m working and going to school.”
“We haven’t had much time to talk after the argument, but I plan to tell her I’m not coming.”
“I know it’s her wedding and her big day, but I really don’t want to go after feeling completely dismissed like this so AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for not wanting to attend. their sister’s wedding.
That being said, most people still urged the OP not to skip the wedding, agreeing they would regret that decision down the line, even if everyone agreed they had a right to feel hurt and slighted:
“I hate to tell you, but while you may feel close to your sister…she only seems to care about what you can do for her.”
“If she truly cared about you and appreciated all that you have been doing for her, then she would want you to feel comfortable and enjoy the wedding.”
“You should immediately stop doing all of those favors for her.”
“If she’s not going to appreciate you as a sister then you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your time to make her life better.”
“NTA.”- Key-Bit1208
“You are NTA, but I think that you will regret skipping the wedding.”
“Not because of some nonsense about family and blah blah blah but because you will be the bad guy in your family if you do this.”
“No matter how justified, skipping the wedding is a bad look.”
“Doll yourself up.”
“Go to the wedding.”
“Stay until dinner is finished.”
“Stay longer if you’re having fun and leave if you’re not.”
“And slow stop babysitting and pet sitting after the wedding.”
“Your sister does not value you, and she doesn’t value your relationship.”
“She is a user. I am only advising you to play this cool because people like your sister often get over on people by putting them in positions where they become the villain when they finally push back.”
“Don’t push back about the wedding.”- EmceeSuzy
“NTA.”
“But I would attend the wedding and avoid the drama you’ll get from the rest of the family because it’s her special daaayyy…”
“AND THEN refuse to babysit or take care of her dog the next time she asks.”
“When she asks you why, you can tell her that she should ask your cousin for help.”
“This is an FAFO situation, so let her find out after the wedding when you’re no longer there to make her life easier.”- HereWeGo_Steelers
“NTA.”
“But cut her of any future help and let her find out how hard life can really be and if she opens her mouth tell her to ask that cousin that does so much for her because clearly she is more important then you are she doesn’t respect your time or your effort.”
“So tell her from now on you are no longer going to be helping her.”
“You need to start putting yourself first because nobody else will ever bite the hand that feeds you, and that is what you have been doing for her all along, giving her so much help.”
“Well, now she is on her own.”
“Best of luck to you”- Remarkable_Owl_8412
“NTA.”
“Drop the rope.”
“She doesn’t appreciate/recognize all that you have been doing for her.”- LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa-
“Not the a**hole.”
“She’s being extremely selfish.”
“Stop helping her.”- Critical_Cat_8162
“NTA.”
“You are absolutely correct to feel hurt here.”
“Your sister seems to be singling you out especially.”
“Only you can’t bring a friend.”
“You do a lot for her already.”
“Those favors need to stop.”
“Don’t let her keep taking from you because it will only get worse if you let it.”
“As for the wedding, I’m pretty not confrontational myself so I would still go just to avoid the drama.”
“But, don’t let her boss you around during either.”
“Find someone to hang out with and stick to them.”
“Good luck and please let us know what you ultimately decide to do.”- SqueakyPie8969-D
“NTA.”
“But as others have said, be prepared for the long-term effect if you don’t go.”
“For example, if you’re parents are around, how would they feel if you missed it?”
“Also is she expecting you to be the babysitter at the wedding?”
“Definitely stop going over every day.”
“I think it’s amazing that you’ve given her so much help, but clearly, she uses that help and dog sitting.”
“If it were my sibling I think I’d honestly tell them how I feel there may be another reason like she doesn’t like said friend or (and I’ve been to a wedding where the arranged tables for this) maybe they’re trying to set you up with someone.”
“I’m not saying that’s okay, but they might have some unexpected logic other than just long-term partners only (you never know).”
“If it is just that she’s not interested in your feelings, set some babysitting and dog-sitting boundaries.”
“Suggest cousin helps.”
“Or someone else and give yourself space so you can work out what the relationship with your sister is.”
“If she’s not just using you for free child and pet care, then it won’t change too much, and if she is then at least you know.”- ffffffudgeyou
“Stop helping her immediately.”
“Your sister doesn’t even like you, in fact, it seems like she’s just using you AND she is probably going to expect you to help with something, forget being a guest, if you go to her wedding.”
“IMO you are NTA if you don’t attend her wedding.”- DazzlingPotion
Generally speaking, it’s common courtesy for a bride or a groom-to-be to give their sibling a plus one, whether or not they have a significant other.
Making it understandable why the OP feels slighted.
Even so, the OP might want to think very carefully if skipping the wedding is the right course of action.
Instead, perhaps the best thing is to limit the amount of help they provide their sister, at least until. their actions are appreciated.