They say there are no bad dogs, just bad dog owners.
An adult child dealing with their mother’s badly behaved dogs turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to ask a hypothetical “Would I Be The A**hole (WIBTA) question for feedback.
Parking-Ratio155 asked:
“WIBTA if I told my mom that her dogs are the only ones not allowed on family vacation?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“My mom has 2 half Yorkie, half Maltese dogs—these dogs are my mom’s world. The problem is they are obsessed with food, they will go to any lengths to get human food.”
“It started with a bag of barbecue potatoes chips on my kitchen counter ripped open and devoured, leaving a huge barbeque dust mess.”
“Next was an entire pizza that was snatched off the table the moment I went to grab sodas from the kitchen. In the span of less than a minute, when I returned, half of the pizza was gone, the dogs were standing in the other half of the pizza, and there was pizza sauce all over my carpet.”
“Next get together, they found their way inside even though I asked my mom to keep them in the backyard. They got into my kitchen and tore open two bags of hamburger buns, and ate around 40 dollars worth of seasoned raw hamburger meat and a block of cheddar cheese.”
“My mom has bragged that her dogs ate half a box of chocolate-covered cordial cherries and didn’t get sick. I’m worried she thinks they can’t get sick.”
“At this point, I told my mother her dogs were not allowed at my home. She has stopped coming by altogether, which does hurt my feelings because if it’s a choice between her kid and the dogs, she will always pick the dogs.”
“I’m planning a family vacation, booked a nice cabin for the whole family to stay in. My sister is bringing her dog (well behaved female Pit) so I know it’s going to be an issue when I tell my mom her dogs are not allowed to come with us.”
“I don’t want to spend the whole weekend making sure not a single scrap of food is left out for even a second, otherwise her dogs with tear it apart and potentially make a huge mess in the cabin I paid the deposit on.”
“My sister told me to just tell my mom that she has to keep a close eye on her dogs, but I have tried that before and she’s proven time and time again that she’s either unable or unwilling to control her dogs’ behavior.”
“WIBTA if I tell my mom her food-crazed dogs are not allowed on our family vacation, even though another dog will be there?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I might be the a**hole because it seems unfair to let my sister’s dog come, but not my mom’s dog.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“Nope, NTA. If your mom is going to insist on her feral destructo-mutts being included, she needs to book the accommodations and be responsible for the deposit.”
“Otherwise, she’s just going to have to be content with staying in the doghouse. Even if she does step up for that, I wouldn’t share accommodations with animals that are so out of control.”
“Sorry, not sorry, but I wouldn’t tolerate every meal turning into a battle to keep my food.” ~ Mira_DFalco
“NTA but your mum is. I get some dogs are incredibly food driven (I have labs), but you need to up the training to teach them not to get into food.”
“It is incredibly dangerous for the dogs to be eating whatever they like. If your mum can’t train them, she needs to employ a professional, for the dog’s sake.” ~ No_Garbage3192
“Very dangerous. Dogs shouldn’t have onions, garlic, chocolate, grapes, or raisins – any of these foods can kill a dog if it gets ‘enough’ of it. Enough might be a lot less for small dogs.” ~ PinkPandaHumor
“And I bet mom would blame everyone else if the dogs ate something dangerous that made them sick or killed them…” ~ SwimAccomplished9487
“At the rate those dogs are going, they’ll die from kidney/liver failure before they ever think of suffering from old age. Just because the dogs didn’t throw up on the carpet doesn’t mean that they aren’t suffering consequences.”
“Poisoning can be done slowly. Your mom is the kind of dog owner that I can’t stand; they give the rest of us a bad name. I’m sorry she’s placed you between a rock and a hard place.” ~ TrelanaSakuyo
“NTA. Good luck, it sounds like you will need it. If your mom showed you before that she chooses her dogs over coming to your house, I’m fairly certain she won’t come to the cabin.” ~ Wonderful-Result2036
“NTA, but you already know your mother won’t come with this restriction. She won’t come to your home if her dogs aren’t welcome—she won’t come on vacation if her dogs aren’t welcome.”
“It’s your mother and your relationship, so you get to choose the hill to die on. Personally, I’d just not invite her anywhere except brief outings like restaurants where her dogs can’t come, if at all.”
“It sounds like she prefers the company of her dogs over people anyway – otherwise she’d train her dogs.” ~ ShannaraRose
“NTA, if you let the dogs go, you’ll ruin any relaxation you’re attempting to get. Can you say something like there’s a strict Airbnb owner pet limit of 1 dog, and you already told your sister that she could bring hers?”
“Or say no dogs altogether and your sister can make arrangements…or just say the full truth—’sorry, mom, I just don’t want to have to worry about your dogs on my vacation’.” ~ MamaMagic18
“Sufficiently motivated small dogs are parkour masters. I’ve seen them get places you wouldn’t think ppossible.”
“I’d bet the ‘ate $40 worth of meat’ is more likely managed to get into and destroy before anyone realized they were missing.”
“OP is totally NTA here. Mom refuses to do the work to control her animals, then Mom can stay home.” ~ notquitetame3
“NTA. No seriously. Tell her if she shows up with the dogs, you will not allow her in the cabin. She will not even be allowed to unpack, just told to turn right around.”
“She will test you. You need to stand your ground. Or, a better solution, don’t invite mom. She’s going to show up with those terrors even if you tell her not to.”
“So just don’t invite her. When she gets butt hurt about not being invited, make sure she knows it’s 1000% because of her little terrors.” ~ R4eth
“NTA, first of all, just from the breed, they sound absolutely adorable, but the fact that she allows them to basically do whatever the f*ck they want is borderline animal neglect, especially when it comes to human food.”
“Not only is that absolutely irresponsible as a pet owner, those dogs could end up dying from eating something toxic to dogs, solely because she refuses to actually train them to leave sh*t alone.” ~ freshdeliveredtrash
“This is a hard one, I TOTALLY understand where you’re coming from. I have 3 dogs, one of which is HORRIBLE around food, so she’s not allowed around it, especially with company.”
“Your mom should understand, after everything her dogs have done, that at some point, enough is enough.”
“She has to take responsibility as well, as they are her pets, and if she’s said she would watch them or keep them outside and couldn’t, then ya, they should be left at home.” ~ Acceptable_Yellow_55
“NTA. Your mom has already proven that she can’t be trusted to watch her own dogs. I wouldn’t even bother telling her that your sister’s dog is coming—it isn’t a ‘no dog’ policy, it’s a ‘no badly trained, unsupervised dogs’ policy, which apparently only applies to her.”
“If she chooses to miss the family vacation for her dogs, there’s really nothing you can do about it.” ~ JenninMiami
“This is your mom’s fault. I have an extremely spoiled boxer. But I know it. So I don’t put him or other ppl in a position where it’s an issue.”
“There’s no way your mom is oblivious to it. But yet there doesn’t seem to be any changes on her part. It’s incredibly selfish of her to assume her pets are automatically invited anyway, but especially after the past incidents.” ~ Usual_Bumblebee_8274
“NTA.If you’re paying for this, you have a right to decide if dogs go or not. Sounds like your mom needs to learn to handle her dogs better.” ~ MyPath2Follow
“NTA. If your mom doesn’t come, she doesn’t come. I assume the cabin is somewhere pretty secluded, which normally means any grocery store is far away or going tk be super expensive.”
“Do you want to try and figure out food because your mom brought dogs that might get in and destroy everything?” ~ Gigi-lily
“NTA, and your mom is a dumba** for letting her dogs get into people food. A lot of that stuff is toxic for dogs, and particularly so to small dogs because the quantity versus body size ratio isn’t great.”
“She could end up with expensive vet bills and/or a dead dog. (and then probably blame whoever the food belonged to!)” ~ NotOnApprovedList
As many pointed out, not only are the dogs a nuisance, but they could also end up very sick or dying.
OP’s mother’s irresponsible pet ownership doesn’t mean everyone else needs to tolerate their behavior.