Telling someone their future dreams aren’t valid is harsh.
Many people try to handle the matter, but end up making a mess of the situation.
One may never know what sparks inspiration in a person.
Maybe try to be glad it’s there.
Redditor homtulce wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for making my wife throw out a whole chicken?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My younger cousin is in her senior year of high school, and when we were talking about her future college and career choices, she told me she wants to go to med school.”
“I was a bit surprised because she had just previously told me she is not interested in any related subject (she likes Arts and History and seems to despise biological sciences), so I kept asking what drew her to medicine, and she said she started thinking about it after binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy.”
“So I said she should maybe do some extra research on the realities of med school and the medical field, because Grey’s Anatomy is fiction and not an accurate representation of the profession and a doctor’s life.”
“I said this with good intentions, but she took it as if I was suggesting she was naive and misinformed, or trying to make her second-guess her decision.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for this?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“YTA. I’m a scientist who works with surgeons.”
“Many of my colleagues got into the field because they watched M*A*S*H growing up.”
“I know a bunch of emergency physicians who first learn about the field from the show ER.”
“And countless people got interested in medicine from Scrubs.”
“It’s a pretty common way to develop early interest in being a physician.”
“Your cousin is years away from making a full commitment to medicine, and she has plenty of time to figure out if it’s right for her without any significant consequences if she changes her mind.”
“She doesn’t need your negativity in her life.”
“And for the record, some of the best surgeons I know were humanities majors in college – art history, history, and classics.”
“It’s possible to enjoy and succeed in both science and art.” ~ mpjjpm
“100% agree, YTA.’
“How many archeologists became that because of Indiana Jones?”
“Our interests have to start somewhere.”
“A movie isn’t a terrible place to start.” ~ No_Salad_8766
“Also agree OP is TA- I majored in anthropology because of Indiana Jones!”
“I loved it and regret nothing, despite life taking me elsewhere.”
“The kid is old enough to know reality from fantasy and know it’s not going to be like that.”
“For me, at least, Indiana Jones sparked a love of ancient cultures.”
“It didn’t make me think I was going to be going on adventures stealing artifacts, destroying historical sites, etc.” ~ Panic-at-the-catio
“You sound exhausted.”
“Let her go to college and take some classes and decide for herself.”
“Her first couple of years of college will be mostly gen eds anyway, so if she hates her science classes and loves the humanities, she can change majors without any repercussions.”
‘But maybe she’ll continue with premed and become a doctor!”
“You’re not doing her any favors by discouraging her now, you’re just being an a**.” ~ BunniesnBroomsticks
“YTA. Do you have any idea how many people have watched horribly inaccurate TV shows and movies only to decide to follow in that profession?!?”
“Seriously… I am 100% sure there are thousands of people out there who are firefighters today cause they saw Backdraft as a kid.”
“I’m sure there’s a bunch more that are nurses and doctors cause they watched ER or another show like it.”
“Bottom line…. who cares WHY someone wants to be a doctor?”
“Be happy that they at least want to try.” ~ SigSauerPower320
“YTA. You basically told her you don’t think she’s capable of becoming a doctor.”
“I didn’t see anything in the post to suggest you’re in the position to do that.”
“As an older cousin, there’s some decent chance she looks up to you, and you telling her that you don’t believe in her would be very hurtful with no possible positive outcome.”
“If it’s not for her, she’ll figure that out on her own.”
“She likely needs people rooting for her while she discovers more about herself rather than doubters telling her she isn’t good enough.” ~ garublador
“YTA. A lot of women have gone into STEM and other fields because of shows (Grey’s, The X Files, Bones, etc.).”
‘And they’re kicking a**.”
“You should not be questioning your cousin or trying to dampen her spirit.”
“Her bachelor’s is what will help her determine if she can do med school.”
“Her family should be supporting her and lifting her up.” ~ friendlily
“I think people are being WAY too harsh in these comments.”
“I don’t see anything wrong with telling someone that they should find out more about the field they’ll potentially be spending tens of thousands of dollars to study, maybe even more.”
“If she said she doesn’t like any of the related subjects to it, yeah, I would question why a show would change that.”
“I’ve seen people go into college to study medicine only to find out they have no affinity for sciences, nor do they have a desire to do all the associated schooling with it.”
“Better to understand sooner than later unless she’s ok with wasting money and time.” ~ articnight240
“YTA. She’s got two years of basic requirements in college to really dial in on what she wants.”
“And, the reasons that ignite someone’s interest in a topic aren’t really relevant, as long as they’ve got the interest and desire.” ~ Possible-Tangelo9344
“YTA. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, champ.”
“Whether you believe it or not, people’s interests change all the time, and we can even be interested in more than one thing at a time.”
“Which means she can be interested in the arts and still want to work in the medical field.”
“You took something that she was excited to share with you and tore her down.”
“Even if you don’t see it that way.”
“My cousin is a big fan of Grey’s Anatomy as well and is almost done with his training to be a surgical tech.”
“A lot of his family and friends were sure that he was only doing it because he was a fan of Grey’s Anatomy, but the truth is that he wants to help save lives.”
“Maybe next time you could try being encouraging instead of putting your cousin down 🥰.” ~ scrntonstranglr
“Healthcare provider here.”
“You did the right thing by speaking up once.’
“Rest is up to her.”
“Ignore the YTAs.”
“It’s not just about interest in biological sciences.”
“The field is extraordinarily hard on the mind and the body, and you need to be clear-eyed going in.”
“I worked 80 plus hours a week during my training.” ~ Mean_Armadillo_279
“Grey’s Anatomy really piqued my interest in nursing.”
“I’ve no desire to be a doctor.”
“And I love it.”
“Also, she’s literally in her senior year of high school.”
“She’s probably going to change her mind before she finds something she likes at least a couple of times.”
“Just let her enjoy what she wants right now. YTA.”
“Also, I’d LOVE to know how old you are.”
“Because your post reads like you’re like 23 and think you know everything.” ~ ButtonTemporary8623
“Yes, YTA.”
“Let people like what they like, and figure it out on their own.”
“If they ask you for your opinion, sure, but unsolicited life advice is usually annoying.”
“Also, a lot of friends of mine who liked Grey’s Anatomy are in the medical field now; it’s a popular show.” ~ Oodietheoderoni
“She’s the one who said she doesn’t like doing the science work that medicine is based on.”
“It’s kind of an important aspect of being a doctor.”
“I don’t understand where this idea to leave people alone comes from.”
“I’d have probably been a math teacher if I were left alone, and that’s definitely not what I would have wanted to do.”
“You’re supposed to ask people questions and make sure they know what they’re getting into.”
“And help guide them to figuring out what’s the right choice for them.” ~ NamelessBard
“YTA. All sorts of careers are filled with people who were inspired by books and shows that weren’t completely accurate.” ~ Eternalthursday1976
“I was going to say watching and adoring You’ve Got Mail made me want to move to NYC and work in books.”
“I remember my mom saying NYC is idealized in the movie, and I wouldn’t actually like that.”
“Anyway, I’ve been here nearly 20 years now and am writing novels as my job.”
“She’s a senior in high school, let her dream! YTA.” ~ AUSTENtatiously
“YTA a little bit.”
“She’s a kid with an unlikely dream, it’s actually fine for her to say she might like med school.”
“She’s not going to waltz into an OR tomorrow morning.”
“She’ll figure out that she’s not that into bio science and choose something else, maybe pharma sales or something, that is healthcare adjacent.”
“Or, she may actually find she enjoys science more in college than she did as a kid.” ~ FairyCompetent
“As an attorney whose career path was impacted by watching and loving Legally Blonde, YTA.”
“It got me interested in the field.”
“So I went to law school to see if I actually liked it.”
“And here I am, finishing my 6th year as an attorney.” ~ Siareen
“YTA. People get inspired to do things to make a difference by what they watch all the time.”
“I think all the reasons she gave for how she believed you were trying to make her feel are accurate, and maybe nobody else has called you out on this sort of behavior before- and you don’t like it!” ~ shelbyeatenton
Reddit has some issues with your actions, OP.
Career inspiration is found everywhere.
It’s not your job to stifle ideas; challenge them, sure, but there are better ways to do that.
You weren’t being malicious.
But a little tact goes a long way.
And in the words of Grey’s Anatomy’s Dr. Derek Shepherd, “it’s a beautiful day to save lives.” And a beautiful goal indeed.