There are certain events and life moments for which one is never sure how to dress.
Clothing can be a form of self-expression.
Criticism of a person’s fashion can be perceived as a personal insult.
And sometimes… people may be overdressed.
Redditor Tasty_Log3307 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for asking my girlfriend to dress more sensibly on a walk?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My G[irl]F[riend] and I (both 30) go on this trail by the river sometimes.”
“It is about an hour each way, and most people are in casual or sporty clothes.”
“The first few times we did it, she wore a maxi skirt and high heels, and I felt like it was really out of place.”
“I told her after the last time that next time she should dress more sensibly.”
“She claimed it was fine, but it is really out of place, and even if she won’t admit it, she definitely struggles, particularly at the end of the trail, which is not paved.”
“Everyone looks at her, and she even gets a few comments, especially about the shoes, so I wonder if she does it for attention.”
“We went again recently, and she showed up in the same type of outfit.”
“Long skirt, heels clicking on the ground, makeup done like we were going to dinner instead of a walk.”
“I felt embarrassed walking next to her because everyone else was in athletic clothes, and she stood out.”
“I reminded her that I had already asked her not to dress like that for this specific activity.”
“She told me I was being controlling and that she could wear whatever she wanted.”
“I feel like she is deliberately ignoring what I said, but at the same time, I do not think it is unreasonable to expect her to fit the setting.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for saying something?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP WAS the A**hole.
“She’s not ignoring you, she’s just not obeying you.”
“She’s been on this walk before; she knows what the experience will be like in these clothes, and she chooses to wear them.”
“The pros outweigh the cons for her, and that’s her choice.”
“If she was getting hurt, or making her clothing choices your problem by say, taking your jacket to keep warm and leaving you cold, or asking you to carry her, then you’d have a place to say something.”
“Even then, it wouldn’t be ‘you must wear this,’ it would be ‘please wear or bring what you need because I will not be giving up my jacket/carrying you.'”
“Your issue is that you’re embarrassed.”
“You talk about what everyone else is wearing, how others are reacting.”
“Find a way to get over it and love your gf for who she is, including her style choices.”
“Or move on and let her find someone who likes her and doesn’t find her embarrassing. YTA.” ~ SummitJunkie7
“Dude’s trying to control her because he’s embarrassed.”
“She knows what she’s wearing and clearly doesn’t have an issue with it.”
“If she’s not complaining about the heels or asking him to carry her, it’s literally none of his business.”
“Let the woman dress how she wants.”
“YTA all the way.” ~ BDevil15
“I’ve done about 10 years of intense LARPing, most of which happened in open fields with unpaved and uneven ground, exposed to rain and other elements, and there were a couple of ladies who were notorious for wearing high-heeled boots all the time, 3-5 days straight, no matter the intensity of the event and weather conditions.”
“They were the exception for footwear, but basically everyone was wearing some form of medieval-fantasy maxi dress and makeup, and we still managed to walk and run around easily (the guys were actually stoked about ditching trousers for a few days).”
“None of the things OP described are ‘inappropriate’ for a walk.”
“I also prefer a comfortable and breathable dress to a fitted workout attire for a simple walk.”
“There is nothing wrong with wearing makeup before physical activity, and if the girl can handle high heels on unpaved roads, more power to her.”
“This is the first time I’ve seen a man complaining about their partner being too well-dressed.”
“I guess we just can’t win with some people. OP YTA.” ~ the_V33
“People keep saying hike, but in his comment, he says it’s a pavement by a river.”
“So an hour walk on a flat pavement by a scenic area- I’d call that a leisurely stroll, it doesn’t require particular clothing attire.”
“I’ve walked around my town for this duration in wedge heels; if they’re comfortable, it’s fine.” ~ notthiswaythatway
“Right? I can’t be the only one pointing out that this ISN’T A HIKE and OP is being incredibly misleading.”
“They describe it as a flat, paved path with occasional gravel sections.”
“A f**king road fits that description.”
“This is not a hike, it’s a normal walk.”
“People wear dresses for those all the time.”
“To be honest, I think it’s weird that ‘everyone’ wears athletic gear for what is essentially a stroll down the street.” ~ lordmwahaha
“For real.”
“I hike as a hobby, and wearing athletic clothes to walk on pavement by a scenic river?”
“That sounds dramatic to me.”
“Girlfriend definitely considers this a romantic activity and is dressing for it.”
“And as someone who hikes, you can roll your ankle in any kind of shoes.”
“Everyone keeps acting like there are magic shoes that’ll prevent you from it.”
“OP himself could roll his ankle, too.”
“If they’re worried about it, they should make sure they can get an Uber home.”
“Girlfriend is hot, and OP is self-conscious. YTA.” ~ CenterofChaos
“YTA. You mentioned it once, but she didn’t want to wear what you suggested.”
“That’s her right.”
“If you don’t want a GF who dresses over the top for a hike, find a new girlfriend.”
“Somewhere out there is a guy who’ll like that she dresses the way she does.” ~ IHaveBoxerDogs
“YTA. It’s odd to hike in heels, but you don’t get to demand she wear something different so you’re not embarrassed.”
“Yes, you are being controlling.” ~ flattened_apex
“I feel the conversation could have gone better if you had focused on her safety and the mutual enjoyment you get from doing things together.”
“The fact that you slid it into being all about your embarrassment is what puts you slightly over the line into YTA and controlling territory.”
“You can save this and apologise for your approach, and ask if you can work together to get the most out of the experience.”
“If she says no and insists on impractical footwear, then you will either need to accept that or stop going on walks with her.” ~ Necessary-Air-9509
“YTA. What she’s wearing sounds like my personal nightmare for taking a walk, and a recipe for a rolled ankle… but she’s a grown adult and can wear what she wants.”
“30 years old and you’re embarrassed about strangers looking at your girlfriend in a cute outfit?”
“Grow up and let her live.” ~ RobotDoodle
“You stating that you are embarrassed about her outfit is what makes YTA.”
“If you had said it’s because of the risk of injury from wearing heels on an unpaved path, you would have been in the right.” ~ Shot-Elk-6895
“YTA – she sounds like an absolutely whimsical baddie, and it sounds like you can’t handle it!”
“So what if she wants to wear a maxi skirt and heels?”
“Despite what you may think, she is an adult woman who is capable of making her own decisions.” ~ squidgebunny
“YTA. You’re not asking her to change clothing because, say, she keeps falling and could hurt herself.”
“You’re asking her to change clothing because you are worried about what Other People think of YOU walking with her.”
“Check yourself instead of checking her.”
“Maybe be proud that ur gf can hike in heels.”
“That’s dedication and talent.” ~ cowbutch3
“YTA… because you feel embarrassed by her appearance, rather than being concerned for her well-being.”
“Wearing high heels on a walk seems like a failure of common sense to me, but the skirt and makeup are completely irrelevant.” ~ Moose-Live
“YTA. If your girlfriend wants to be uncomfortable and impractical, that’s a HER problem.”
“Let her enjoy clamping around in a long skirt and heels for a hike.” ~ Anxious-Routine-5526
“YTA, but mainly because you care what a bunch of strangers think.”
“If there’s anything to feel embarrassed by, it’s that.”
“It is her choice of attire, even if a little odd?”
“Sure, but I find her level of commitment endearing.” ~ Twidollyn_Bowie
“It is not a hike.”
“You’re being misleading.”
“In one of your comments, you describe it as a paved, flat, leisurely walk with some gravelly bits.”
“Where I live, that is just a normal walk down the street, and people wear all kinds of clothes.”
“YTA. This isn’t like she’s going up a mountain dressed like that.”
“She’s walking down a paved path.”
“I actually don’t understand why everyone’s wearing athletic gear to start with -that is so odd given the context you’ve provided.” ~ lordmwahaha
“You can only change the things you do, so in that vein, don’t ask her out for walks/hikes anymore.”
“You don’t like the extra attention she’s attracting, so just do these kinds of things by yourself or with a friend.”
“YTA for trying to dictate what she wears; she already told what she was going to do, so you must be the one to change.” ~ bbydragn
“YTA. Get over yourself.”
“If this is what she feels comfortable in, then that’s what she feels comfortable in.”
“You should work on your fear of being the center of attention rather than what makes her comfortable.” ~ Mandiezie1
It sounds like Reddit is not with you, OP.
Let your GF be who she is.
Try not to worry about other people’s reactions.
If she is comfortable, then that is what matters.