It’s always a big step when new parents leave their child in the care of others.
Even if they leave the baby with a highly trustworthy friend or family member, being away from their child for even a moment is enough to cause horrific anxiety.
Most of the time, their worries are completely unfounded.
On some sadder occasions, it turns out these parents had more than a little cause for concern.
Redditor Wriggy-Ragoo and their husband needed to leave their baby in the care of family for the first time.
Owing to their child’s condition, the original poster (OP) was a little hesitant.
As it turned out, their concerns proved to be more than valid, as the aunt of the OP’s husband put their child in rather serious danger.
Leading the OP wanting to give this aunt a few choice words.
Wondering if it would be wrong to do so, the OP took to the subReddit “Would I Be The A**hole” (WIBTA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“WIBTA if I told off my husband’s Aunt for feeding my child without consent.”
The OP explained why they wanted to give their husband’s aunt a serious talking to:
“My baby (10mo M[ale]) has a severe non-IgE mediated allergy to corn and all corn derivatives.”
“Everyone in our family knows about his allergies.”
“I have spent hours and hours researching and refining the foods my son can consume without having an allergic reaction (full body eczema, painful gas, blood and mucous in the stool – absolute misery for about 72 hours after consumption).”
“My husband took our kids (4 F[emale] and 10mo M) to his family farm overnight while I had another commitment in town.”
“I had prepared and sent all the baby’s food to ensure he was eating safe foods and wouldn’t have a reaction (hello, postpartum anxiety).”
“For context, this is a large dairy farm operation with multiple homes on the property.”
“His aunt and uncle live in one house and his grandparents in another.”
“After breakfast at his Aunt’s house, our son was starting to get fussy for a bottle.”
“My husband had washed the bottles and left them to dry at his Grandma’s house.”
“He ran over between the houses (about 300m away) to grab a clean bottle for my son.”
“He was gone less than 3 minutes total.”
“When he returned, his aunt was bragging about how much our son LOVED her cinnamon buns.”
“My husband argued with her, saying how he has allergies, and he can’t be given food all Willy nilly without one of us present to check ingredients.”
“She claimed he would be totally fine because it was only a few bites.”
“So here I am 24 hours later with my distraught baby screaming in pain all day, covered in an eczema flare, and pooping blood.”
“I want to reach out to his aunt and tell her how reckless and neglectful and shady it was to feed our baby ANYTHING without our consent or presence.”
“It especially infuriates me that she did it so sneakily in the mere couple of minutes he ran out to grab a bottle.”
“I was in a blind rage when my husband told me what happened.”
“WIBTA if I sent a strongly worded message about how absolutely disgusting I think her actions were to my defenseless baby?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for wanting to give their husband’s aunt a talking to.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s aunt was reckless, pointing out that some allergies are so severe that even “only a few bites” could be a matter of life and death:
“She does need to be informed.”
“I think your husband should be the one to do it.”
“He should take photos and videos, and go and show her what her ‘totally fine’ looks like.”
“This is not a small thing.”
“Your baby is, in fact, defenseless.”
“I’m sorry this happened to him.”
“NTA.”- ImpossibleReason2204
“NTA.”
“Take pictures to show her.”
“Show everyone and make sure everyone really knows how serious his allergies are.”- MerlinBiggs
“Regardless of his allergies, who the f*ck is feeding a cinnamon bun to a 10-month-old?”
“NTA.”
“Don’t leave this person alone with your child again.”- Marzipan_civil
“NTA.”
“Send her a video of him screaming.”
“Make it long and loud.”
“Show her what she did to your baby.”
“Send it to the whole family so everyone understands WHY your baby’s food MUST BE SAFE for him.”- PrairieGrrl5263
“NTA.”
“Mamma and like others have said, take photos and then rip her a new one.”
“Crap like this always makes me think of the coconut oil child.”- SuspiciousAssist2
“NTA or Would not be.”
“But if I were you I would send a video of your son in pain, and some photos of the bloody diapers with ‘You did this’.”- Derailedatthestation
“NTA.”
“Send photos, in addition to the strongly worded email (heavy on the unnecessary pain she inflicted on your child), and cc the rest of the family as well.”
“It serves as both a shame and a reminder email.”- Reasonable-Bad-769
“NTA.”
“In fact, I would take a picture of his bloody diaper and eczema, flareup, and a video of his crying and send it to her.”
“I would tell her this is the consequence of her not listening.”- Fuzzy-Mushroom-1933
“NTA.”
“Send her a video too so she can see the consequences of her actions.”- ButItSaysOnline
“NTA, some people don’t learn unless it’s the hard way.”
“Send her the bill too.”
“I couldn’t have milk before going to school because, for some reason, it made me vomit after riding to school.”
“My grandma didn’t believe this and tried to pressure me into eating cereal and milk regardless of if we had to ride in the car, my mom told me to eat it anyway and throw up in her car to teach her a lesson when I was about 8.”
“One day, my mom had to have surgery and had to stay at the hospital overnight, so I slept over with my grandma for a few days.”
“Monday morning, I have to get to school, and school is an hour’s drive from Grandma’s.”
“Grandma, of course, offers me cereal, so I sat my happy a** down and ate three bowls of Reese’s puffs and drank every drop of milk after.”
“I throw up the moment we get to the town my school is in, wasting two hours of her time because the school won’t let me in if I get sick and making a mess of her backseat.”- certifiedtoothbench
“NTA.”
“But your husband should address this with his aunt and with his parents to ensure the safety of your child.”- According_Hat2751
“NTA.”
“If Aunt was told about the child’s allergies and did this anyway, she knew what she was doing, and this is not just an ‘oopsie’.”
“Basically, this aunt assaulted your child because she’s one of those dingdongs who don’t think food allergies are real.”
“Unfortunately, these people are pretty common and are an absolute menace.”
“I definitely wouldn’t allow her around the kid again.”- LilMushboom
“NTA.”
“Don’t just send a strongly worded message, take photos of the eczema, the bloody stool, and a video of the crying and screaming and say ‘this is what “just a couple of bites” does to my child’. You will never be left alone with him again.”- teuchterK
“NTA.”
“Send her a video of how miserable and awful he’s feeling.”
“Make sure to send a clip with the bloody stool.”
“She needs to see and hear exactly what misery and pain she caused that baby.”
“Hell send it in the family chat so she’s rightfully shamed for her reckless and uncaring actions.”-MoulanRougeFae
“NTA.”
“Of course, he liked the few bites.”
“I mean, just because I’m allergic to something doesn’t mean it won’t taste good to me.”
“The fact that she waited for his father to leave says to me that she knew you wouldn’t want her to do this.”
“It sounds like you’ve been very clear.”
“As for confronting her, setting boundaries is really important.”
“And it sounds like she needs some reminding of what those are in this case.”
“Many people have already suggested pics and vids.”
“Let his pain be heard.”
“I am SO sorry that he (and you/husband/daughter) is going through this.”
“I hope he feels better soon.”- Popular-Addition9819
“NTA.”
“But HE should be the one contacting her!”- daughteroficarus
“NTA.”
“Being flippant about food allergies is WILD to me; that could have been a death sentence for your baby.”
“Even if the reaction has never reached anaphylaxis before, it COULD.”
“This is extremely serious, and I would be livid, especially because you did all the work for her, all she had to do was not give him something you didn’t prepare.”- Low_Recognition_1557
It would be one thing if the OP’s aunt had fed their child a food he was allergic to without knowing it.
But as she was well aware of their concerns regarding his allergies, it’s hard to fathom why she thought this was ok?
One can only hope this aunt got the wake-up call she needed upon learning everything wasn’t “totally fine” with the baby…