Everyone who has been married has done little things that were special to them to help them remember their big day.
Sometimes it’s as simple as preserving their wedding dress or bouquet, while others establish a whole plan for how to celebrate their anniversary each year.
These celebrations are inherently harmless, but it’s important that the celebration is meaningful to the married couple, not just to the bride, pointed out the members of the “Am I Overreacting?” (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor CleverUserName1961 had always loved her wedding dress and decided to put it on for the day every year on her anniversary, so that she could further enjoy the dress and relive her wedding day.
But when she wanted to wear it in public and go to a restaurant for their anniversary dinner, the Original Poster (OP) was surprised when her husband thought that was taking the wedding dress tradition too far.
She asked the sub:
“Am I overreacting? I’m disappointed my husband doesn’t want me to wear my wedding dress in public for our anniversary.”
The OP had a special tradition with her wedding dress every year since she got married.
“I was married in 1989, wearing a gorgeous, 100% 1980’s sequined, beaded wedding gown, complete with over-the-top giant shoulder pads!”
“I LOVE my wedding gown so much that I put it on every year on our anniversary and wear it all day long!”
“I’ve done laundry, dishes, and vacuumed in that dress, all while feeling like a princess!”
The OP shared a photo of the two of them during a recent anniversary.
The OP had a special plan for this year’s anniversary, but her husband had doubts.
“This year, I want to wear it out to our anniversary dinner, but my husband doesn’t want me to.”
“Yes, I know I may look a little crazy to people, but I don’t really care! And we live in Las Vegas, and there are crazy looking people everywhere you look!”
“Should I listen to my husband or wear my gorgeous wedding gown and look like a crazy person?”
“AIO?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You’re Overreacting
Some were supportive of the OP’s wishes, especially since the couple lived in Vegas.
“How fun! People are going to assume you’ve just gotten married, so maybe you’ll get a free dessert!” – MoonligtNightWalk
“My wife and I eloped and got married on a beach in Hawaii (it was planned but it was just the two of us), and after that, we went to a nice restaurant for dinner while she was still in her wedding dress.”
“A family in the restaurant picked up our entire bill, probably $250 all said and done. It was super nice of them, and we joked she should wear the dress out more often.” – paws5624
“When we got married, we just had a tiny reception dinner, ten of us round a single hotel restaurant table. I got up between the entree and dessert to go to the bathroom.”
“A little girl, with other hotel guests, and aged about ten, squealed, ‘Oooh! A BRIIIIIDE!’ like I was an enchanted fairy or something. She was awe-struck. I don’t think she’d ever seen a bride in real life before.”
“OP, please wear your dress out to dinner. I hope little girls squeal in delight at the sight.” – originalcinner
“I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ll gas up any bride I stumble across in public!”
“I’d be even more delighted to learn a backstory like OP’s while doing so.”
“You once chose the ‘perfect dress,’ so I think NOT wearing it again would be a shame!” – dannixxphantom
“Everything about your post made me smile. How awesome that you loved and enjoyed your wedding so much, had your dream dress, and after all these years still love the dress, the man, and getting to celebrate and remember it all every year!”
“Too many people are miserable and unhappy or just overly stressed so much of the time. I’m all for finding and making your own happy wherever you can. And screw anyone who has a problem with it.”
“I say get hubby to suit up and join you. Go to a fancy restaurant together and heck, hire a photographer and hit your favorite places and have gorgeous anniversary photos taken!”
“Why not? Life is hard so much of the time but what a blessing to have found the man you love and still be happily together after 36 years! And the man should be proud as heck to have a wife who still fits in her gown!” – Tzipity
But others were more critical, pointing out that the anniversary belonged just as much to the husband as it did to the OP, and both of their wishes mattered.
“NOR, but neither is he. This is definitely a ‘you’re both right’ situation.”
“It’s Vegas, so it won’t feel THAT strange to see, and if she enjoys it, sure thing, but at the same time, I can totally understand if he is uncomfortable having loads of people staring.” – Commisar_Kate
“I have a good story about this, and it used to make me feel s**tty. My girlfriend at the time, we were together for seven years, and I would go see an NFL game every year, usually just one, and kinda tapered off once the Lions started getting really good and tickets were expensive.”
“She would literally dress up for the game, like high-end NYC type fashion s**t. She looked good and rocked it. makeup and hair, the whole nine yards.”
“I loved her look and loved her fashion, and she was really attractive, but at the game, it made me uncomfortable. I could tell there were lots of eyes on us, on her and me. I didn’t like that feeling. And we stood out, like not in a bad way, but it just made me feel uncomfortable.”
“One time, I kinda brought it up lightly, and she rightfully corrected me that it was important to her that she dressed how she wanted. And I agree, but i couldn’t ever tell her that it kind of made me uncomfortable. I didn’t like the attention, at least not at the game.”
“I’ve realized since then, and this is the reason I brought this up for the OP’s sake, is that I think it’s completely okay to feel uncomfortable about getting attention like that, even if it’s ‘good’ attention.”
“Not everyone likes being the center of attention, especially when you’re not the one causing it. It doesn’t make you a terrible person at all.”
“The OP’s also correct that she should be able to dress how she wants because it’s something important to her. It’s just a matter of different priorities, and they can hopefully compromise somehow.” – Absolutely_Fibulous
“If you were having a private party, I’d say, ‘go for it,’ but I can see why he would be embarrassed at a small restaurant with you dressed so over-the-top. I think it’s great that you want to have fun and wear it, but you should consider his feelings about it, too.”
“OP, you clearly don’t mind being the center of attention, which you would be, but your hubby doesn’t seem to have your personality. Hopefully you can compromise.” – Prudent_Anxiety_3018
“I get it and think it would be fun since you live in Vegas, but I think it’s more important that your husband feels comfortable on your shared anniversary. It’s his day, too.” – AwkwardDuckling87
“You look fantastic in your dress! Absolutely, take pride in that. But also know that the dress is a symbol of your marriage. And your husband is not comfortable with the attention.”
“I’d respect his wishes. Perhaps there’s a happy medium that you can both agree on. A walk in the park in the dress before you change, and you both go out in complementary attire? Or you wear it at home and change for dinner? Or get a new dress that’s complimentary to your wedding dress but in the current styling?”
“I don’t know if that’s any better or whether it would work. But he is half of the equation.” – The_Burghanite
“I just wanted to add my two cents that you look great, and I don’t blame you for wanting to show yourself off. But yeah, I can’t say your husband’s overreacting.”
“Maybe one route would be to see if your friends (or anybody!) want to throw on their wedding dresses and meet you out somewhere. That would be a hoot to be a part of/see.” – Accurate-Force3054
The subReddit could see the OP’s passion about her marriage and her wedding dress, and they thought her tradition of putting her wedding dress back on every year was sweet and lovely.
But going from wearing the dress at home to wearing it out in public, and at a restaurant no less, was sure to draw a lot of attention that a married couple, celebrating their anniversary, would not normally get.
It was understandable that the OP and her husband might want different levels of attention, and it was also understandable that they needed to meet somewhere in the middle.