There are hundreds of videos on TikTok of people recording their partners waking up from surgeries as the anesthesia fades. Their reactions range from confusion and temporary memory loss to being incredibly giddy, and the videos are typically always humorous in nature.
But for every funny video about fading anesthesia, there are about five videos that could exist of people experiencing negative reactions to waking up from receiving anesthesia, pointed out members of the “Am I Overreacting?” (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Bog_Witch_Is_Calling’s husband had to go through a minor surgery for which anesthesia was required, and they decided it would be funny to record one of those reaction videos for TikTok.
But when her husband woke up and looked totally disgusted when he found out she was his wife, the Original Poster (OP) felt too hurt to even show him the video.
She asked the sub:
“Am I overreacting by being hurt when my husband looked at me in disgust when he was coming out of anesthesia?”
The OP and her husband thought it would be funny to record a TikTok video of him waking up from anesthesia.
“Yesterday, my husband had a minor, outpatient surgery. It wasn’t anything life-threatening or super serious.”
“Anyway, before his surgery, we joked about seeing videos of husbands coming out of surgery and being so doe-eyed and loving when they see their wives.”
“He wanted me to record him and his reaction when he woke up.”
But the OP’s husband did not have the reaction they were hoping for.
“As he woke up, I got my phone out and started recording.”
“He looked at me and couldn’t remember me at first. He asked who I was, and when I replied that I’m his wife.”
“At that, his lip curled, and he had a look of utter disgust on his face. He even said, ‘Ugh.'”
“I stopped recording and just sat in silence while he went in and out for a while.”
The OP was deeply hurt by the whole experience.
“I got him home and comfortable, and then locked myself in the bathroom and cried.”
“Is that what he really feels? Is he disgusted with me? Is he showing his true feelings?”
“Now I’m questioning our whole relationship. Did he settle for me? I am so hurt by this thought.”
“He asked to see the video today, and I lied and said I forgot to record it.”
“AIO?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You’re Overreacting
Some reassured the OP that she couldn’t depend on anesthesia for a true representation for her husband’s feelings for her.
“For every rainbows-and-unicorns video, there are 150 moments like this. Anesthesia is absolutely wild, and his wake-up response has nothing to do with how much he adores you.” – napneeder1111
“To add this, a lot of people have adverse reactions to waking from anesthesia.”
“I remember when I had my first surgery, they explained to me that the process of waking up from anesthesia can be difficult for some people, and they can even have a semi-violent reaction.”
“Generally, it’s just people being upset, but it runs the gamut from happy and silly to angry and upset.”
“What I am really getting at is the reaction is generally one outside of the patient’s control. OP, your husband coming out of anesthesia and looking at you like that almost certainly is just their brain reacting to the medication of sedation, not you.” – Valarouko
“I’m willing to bet he didn’t even have the cognitive skills to perceive OP as disgusting. I’ve only been under anaesthesia once, and the first, I thought I had when I woke up was about how much pain I was in.”
“My second thought was about whether I was actually a person or a computer program. I had felt like a computer program shutting down when I was put under. I also remember asking the doctor for pain meds and my mum. I remember zero things about the doctor, such as what he looked like, etc. He was just a blob.” – EllietteB
“I kept asking the nurses if I died and told them they were very pretty angels.”
“My husband woke up LOVING the Flintstones cartoon. Had to put it in when we got home, and he laughed and laughed.”
“Spoiler alert: he hates the Flintstones. And of course, the nurses weren’t angels, and I wasn’t dead.”
“I’m sure your husband loves you, OP. Anesthesia, on the other hand, is a very weird thing.” – bynwho
“OP, I understand that it hurts, and I don’t think you’re overreacting necessarily, but I don’t think you can hold it against him. When I woke up after having my gallbladder removed, I was tired and thirsty, but so grateful when they brought my partner in, and he helped me get dressed.”
“I was so happy to see him, and I felt fine physically, and I wanted to walk myself out to the car but they didn’t let me (understandable, but I think I probably could have done it if they had let me. Wasn’t gonna argue with the experts though so it was just ‘oh, I think I can walk,’ ‘it’s hospital policy,’ ‘oh, okay’).”
“When I woke up after having my wisdom teeth out a few years later, once they wheeled me out to my partner (same guy), I couldn’t stop crying. I don’t know why, cause I wasn’t in pain or anything, but I just felt this overwhelming sadness. It had nothing to do with him, I just wanted to go home and curl up in a ball for days. I was fine like, 20 minutes after we got home.”
“People have weird reactions, and even the same person can have different reactions to different amounts or types of anesthesia.”
“Try not to hold it against him, and, in a couple days, when he’s feeling better, explain to him what happened, and that you’re not mad at him but you are a bit hurt. Let him reassure you that you’re beautiful, and he loves you and he didn’t mean it, and, this is the hard part: believe him.” – possiblethrowaway369
Others agreed and shared the messy details of what they and their loved ones had gone through when they were coming out of anesthesia.
“I woke up from one procedure ‘in love’ with my doctor. I didn’t want to leave without seeing him because I thought he was so beautiful and amazing. This guy was 30 years my senior, had a bad ponytail, a dead tooth, and no discernible personality.”
“Long story short, don’t pay attention to TikTok trends. Anesthesia is nuts and cannot be used like a truth serum.” – Leading_Test_1462
“I had four surgeries between 12 and 19, and three of them, I woke up and SOBBED uncontrollably.”
“I just had my fifth at 32 and woke up and instantly asked for my glasses and asked the nurse what time it was about seven times in a row while perfectly calm, even though it was a major surgery and totally f**ked my s**t up.”
“I told them I had a hard time with my old surgeries, and my doctor told me it’s very common for young people to react super emotionally and would probably be fine. They were right.” – matyles
“NTA, OP. I was in my early 20s, and initially, the surgeon was unsure if I was going to need a pin permanently placed in my hand to fix the break. Well, he did without, and apparently, I was inconsolable that I didn’t wake up part cyborg.” – throwawayidga
“I just had my first surgery about a week ago at 30 years old, got my gallbladder removed, and holy cow. I woke up absolutely screaming in pain and crying. Everybody I looked at seemed like a threat, even my own family.”
“I absolutely don’t feel that way about them… and I’m sure your husband loves you, OP.” – lifelong-angstt
“I feel so seen. I cried like a freaking baby after a minor outpatient surgery because I was tired and couldn’t sleep, and every single person in the entire world had abandoned me.” – Effective_Fly_6884
“I was definitely on the violent side the first time I came out of anesthesia at 13 years old. I was flailing and trying to hit the medical staff around me, and I even bit my bottom lip so hard, it left a scar. That was certainly an experience.”
“The second time I came out of anesthesia, I was 16, and I just looked at the staff like, whatever, I’m going back to sleep, and promptly passed out again.”
“Anesthesia is truly wild and unpredictable.”
“Anyway, but I agree that the husband’s reaction is most likely nothing to do with how he feels about OP at all. I’m usually not a violent person at all, and when I woke up that first time, it felt like I was being ripped away from what honestly felt like the best sleep I ever had.” – Epicurious_Burrito
The subReddit understood that the OP was hurt by her husband’s surprising reaction, but they chalked it up to being one of the TikTok reaction videos gone wrong, not a sign of a failed marriage. Anesthesia can make fools out of any of us, and there’s no telling what truth or lie we might share.