Even when moving to countries with the same language, expatriates still often find some conversations getting lost in translation.
Even if the basics and fundamentals of their shared language remain the same, there might be some terms which aren't used in both countries, or might have a different meaning.
Americans might be surprised to find what's on their plate when they order "chips" for example.
Things took a somewhat more serious turn for Redditor Used-Pair-4465, who casually used a term word mingling with colleagues which he claimed to be a harmless moniker in his native Australia, but simply isn't accepted in polite conversation in the United States.
Worried about how this affected his relationship with his colleagues, the original poster (OP), took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for saying an inappropriate 'slur' around my friends from a different country?"
The OP explained how he became persona non grata at his office in a short, concise post:
"I (27 M[ale]) am an Australian who recently moved to America for work."
"Spending my whole life in Tasmania there is a lot of Australian slang that is just normal for us to say in conversation that would make no sense to an American."
"Specifically, in Australia we use the word 'c*nt' in an almost endearing way around our friends and family that in no way is an insult."
'However, it seems Americans don't see it like that."
"Last week at after work drinks, everything was going fine."
"We were chatting, drinking, the usual."
"I think one of my co-workers cracked a joke and I said something along the lines of 'haha- funny c*nt', which I totally thought would come across as a compliment or a joke or something and in no way did I mean to offend him."
"There was a little pause in conversation but no one said anything about it at the time."
"However, the next morning I woke up to find I had been removed from the work messenger drinks group and I had a dm from the coworker that read the following:"
"'Hi Gary'."
"'I really do not appreciate you calling me a c*nt yesterday'."
"'I don't know what I did to you'."
"'It's not exactly funny to throw around slurs at a work gathering - I have discussed this with the others and we think it's best you don't come out with us on Fridays anymore'."
"I did not know that Americans think c*nt is a slur'."
"AITA and how do I fix my relationship with my team?'"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You're the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community was somewhat divided on whether or not the OP was at fault in this unfortunate scenario, though everyone agreed an apology was necessary.
Many felt that the OP's mistake was genuine and this was clearly a cultural difference which he could rectify with his colleagues with a sincere and profuse apology.
"Oooof."
"NAH, just a huge cultural gap."
"That word is considered seriously offensive in the US."
"Because my mom moved to NZ for about 15 years and absorbed a lot of the slang, I learned to accept that it has totally different uses depending on context but most people in the States will be truly hurt and/or angry."
"I do not think you're an asshole in this but you must proceed as though you were."
"Apologize profusely, don't try to justify, acknowledge that you failed to consider that there would be words that are fine in Australia that are not ok here and ask for another chance, and do your level best to eradicate that word from your normal vocabulary."
"At least around coworkers while in the states."- rapt2right
"Just apologize, explain the context and NEVER say it again because now you know it's offensive."-LouisV25
"Sorry mate."
"I'm Aussie and live in the US and it's like the biggest faux pas."
"The first time I said it, literally everyone in the room breathed in."
"Just be completely honest, explain the cultural difference and that it will never happen again."
"Do not ever say it again around people."
"My American bf loves when I go full Aussie on FaceTime and say it but he was first shocked too."
"NAH."
"It's an honest mistake."- kezzwithak
"NAH."
"You didn't realize how offensive 'the C word' is in the US."
"However, just because you didn't have bad intentions doesn't excuse the very hurtful impact the word had."
"So, just profusely apologize, explain the cultural difference, and don't use the term going forward when you're not sure how it will be received."
"Hopefully, they'll be understanding."- bee456654
"I am an American that lived in Australia for a year."
"Cunt is definitely not a socially accepted word here in the states for the most part."
"Just explain and apologize."- StrayCatThulhu
"NTA."
"But yeah, that word's seen as VERY derogatory in America, though I wouldn't call it a slur."
"Just explain that it's a cultural difference and you didn't realize the connotation outside of Australia and move on."- stellforstar
"NTA."
"When I saw OP was Australian and living Stateside, I KNEW that the word in question would be 'c*nt'!"
"Maybe this link might help put the word into context."- Conscious_Air_2466
Others, however, including a number of fellow Australians, were less sympathetic, feeling that the OP used a word which should never be used in casual conversation, and claiming ignorance being Australian didn't cut it.
"YTA."
"As a fellow Aussie, I am so sick of people pretending that this term is so common that EVERYONE uses it, and there's no way to know it's not generally acceptable."
"Bullsh*t."
"There are plenty of people in Australia that you'd never use this term with."
"You know damn well that this term would not be used in a daytime TV show, and that it would be censored if referenced during news bulletins etc, and that it works be a firing offense if used in most workplaces."
"You are from Tassie, not Mars."
"And you're 27, not 12."
"Surely you've had enough exposure to fellow adults to know what acceptable behavior is."
"Plus, you're visiting another country, is basic courtesy to find out the cultural differences."
"Sounds like you're one of those people that wants to use cultural stereotypes as the basis for their personality."- tigestoo
"Aussie here, and would never dream of saying that to a work colleague."
"Ever."
"Or any colloquial term that could be seen as being offensive in any way."
"Context matters."
"I know some people use it amongst their mates, and that's OK, but it isn't as ubiquitous as you think it is."
"YTA."
"Apologize and never do it again."- Puskarella
"I'm from 28 New South Wales Australia."
"And you dead set know that cunt is offensive."
"You can say it to your really close friends, but you would never say it to people you're not close to, the older generation etc."
"And you would know its offensive to other countries especially unless you live under a rock."
"Your palming this off like you didn't know and you absolutely did."
"YTA."- findingorion123
"As a fellow Aussie I've gotta go with YTA."
"C'mon man, you know bloody well how that word goes outside of Australia."
"It would have been a bit of a cringe moment in Australia."
"Be honest with yourself, were you playing up your Aussie-ness for the setting?"
"We're Australian, not aliens."
"You can't really be that shocked that a woman was unhappy you called her a c*nt."
"Even in a casual Aussie setting it's a bit different for women."-YoyBoy123
"Dude."
"Even in Australia being an Australian even I wouldn't use it in a work group unless I knew them REAL well - and I have the mouth of a drunken sailor."
"Also even here there are absolutely demographics that would have a problem with it, even socially."
"But you should explain the cultural difference and move forward with apology."
"Soft YTA."-Straight-Section6109
"I'm Australian, too."
"C*nt isn't some harmless throwaway word and you know it."
"Apologize immediately and don't make excuses like 'bUt I'm AuStRaLiAn'."- jessie_monster
"YTA."
"As a fellow Australian, I can confirm this word is used way more often than it maybe should be."
"HOWEVER, it is still considered to be mainly an insult even here in Australia and everyone knows to be careful about who you say it to, because not everyone thinks it's funny."
"And every single basically educated Australian also knows it isn't appropriate in a work setting, unless you work maybe in a warehouse or construction site, and even then..."
"No excuse to use this in a work setting."
"The excuse of 'but I'm Australian' doesn't cut it."-Junglerumble19
Even if it is used more casually in his native Australia, one can't help but think the OP didn't know that the offending word doesn't exactly come with nice connotations, and could have thought twice before using it.
That being said, it also seems that he is indeed repentant about causing offense to anyone, and will hopefully be more careful and sensitive going forward.
Which will ideally begin with a profuse apology to his colleagues.















Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.