Even though we are taught by parents and teachers to treat others as we want to be treated ourselves, far too many people still go through life with a flagrant disregard for the feelings of others.
So much so, that not only do they not worry that what they say and do might hurt or offend those closest to them, but sometimes even go out of their way to make sure they are hurting or embarrassing others.
What these people tend to forget or ignore, however, is that bad behavior is seldom, if ever, forgotten.
Making these same people surprised to find themselves facing consequences for things they’ve said and done in the past.
Redditor Impressive-Yak6139 was growing increasingly frustrated by their sister’s “mean girl” behavior, specifically toward their girlfriend.
When the original poster (OP) announced their engagement, the first thing on their sister’s mind was what her dress and duties as a bridesmaid were going to be like.
The OP’s sister was not at all prepared for her sibling’s response to this inquiry and wasn’t afraid to show her displeasure.
After also being scolded by their parents, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my sister she’s not bridesmaid?”
The OP explained what led their sister to being persona-non-grata at their upcoming wedding:
“My older sister Sarah has always been a mean girl and has mean girlfriends and coworkers.”
“She has constantly made jabs at my girlfriend, Missy.”
“First it was over this spikey black purse that Missy had.”
“She teased her about it being from Hottopic.”
“Missy never really spoke to my sister because I pre-warned her about how two-faced Sarah was so she could gossip about people when they weren’t around.”
“Next Sarah snagged a photo of the purse and took it to work to show everyone how ugly it was.”
“One of her fellow nurses said oh, that purse is Valentino.”
“Then Sarah calls me calling my girlfriend a gold digger, and me stupid for buying her a Valentino purse.”
“I had no clue about the purse and I didn’t even buy it.”
“I told her maybe Missy or her parents got it for her.”
“The purse incident because of stupid family drama, and it has lived in my sister’s head for 6 years. It’s like her obsession with what Missy does, wears, and acts.”
“Fast forward to me announcing our engagement this weekend for our wedding.”
“Missy parents are paying but we haven’t really decided on a venue yet or anything.”
“I told my parents and Sarah chimes in over the speakerphone about her bridesmaid dress and her ideas for our upcoming wedding.”
“I told my sister ‘What the f*** makes think you are invited let alone a bridesmaid?’”
“Sarah started screaming at me, and my mom was upset, saying I have to include Sarah something.”
“I told her I wasn’t and I ended the conversation and I told my parents who kept harassing me over text about Sarah if they continue this they aren’t going to be involved and invited to the wedding either.”
“Sarah can’t contact me herself because I blocked her a long time ago, and I’m not planning on changing that.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for telling Sarah she wasn’t going to be a bridesmaid at their wedding.
Everyone agreed that not only did they and Sarah have the final say as to who was invited to their wedding and in their wedding party, but the fact that Sarah immediately made the OP’s engagement announcement about herself only further shows how thoughtless and selfish she is.
“NTA.”
“No one is entitled to be a bridesmaid it is entirely up to the engaged couple who they include.”
“If your sister can’t handle the consequences of being a cow, then maybe she needs to stop acting like one.”
“Awesome job standing up to your family.”
“Congratulations on the engagement.”- Pretend-Percentage45
“NTA.”
“Op, your sister doesn’t know respect.”
“She crossed lines with your partner and expected you to make her the bridesmaid?”
“100% NO!”
“Hope your wedding goes well though.”- Sure-Dust2251
“NTA.”
“it is your wedding and you can invite whoever you want.”
“Tell your mother and sister that if they are not happy with your decision and are not gonna respect it then they are free not to attend at all, no big loss.”- forgeris
“NTA.”
“Your sister hasn’t given you a single reason to include her.”
“If she’s upset, tough sh*t.”
“You aren’t required to include people who don’t treat you or your spouse well at your wedding.”-IdkmanImSad1
“Personally I think the level of entitlement that she would even in her wildest dreams expect to be included to be quite f*cking hilarious.”
“NTA.”- ChrisMartin_1978
“NTA.”
“Crazy she thinks her actions/attitude would never have consequences.”
“Congrats on the engagement sounds like you have the right attitude in dealing with your sister.”-Laines_Ecossaises
“NTA.”
“Are/where your parents aware of Sara’s behavior & the purse incident before they harassed you via text?”- brad35309
“NTA.”
“She has actively hated on your fiancé, and now she wants to have a position of honor among her closest friends?”
“Delusional.”- UnusuallyScented
“NTA.”
“She’s been blocked this whole time and thought she would be a bridesmaid?”
“The delusion is strong in this one.”- Good_Ad6336
“Sarah needs to get a life.”
“It’s one thing to think a purse is ugly.”
“It’s already AH territory to tell the owner of said purse that it’s ugly.”
“But it’s honestly kinda pathetic to be so obsessed with the purse you believe is ugly to take a picture just to show your coworkers.”
“NTA.”- Own_Purchase1388
“NTA.”
“Sarah showed her @ss to her coworkers by mocking a high end purse she thought was from Hot Topic.”
“She embarrassed herself.”
“Rather than reflect on her behavior and change like an adult, she blames Missy.”
“Now she feels entitled to make demands for your wedding?”
“No, it’s time for Sarah to grow up.”
“She has no say in anything.”
“Honestly, good for you for sticking up for not only yourself, but Missy.”
“Your parent’s created this monster, they can deal with her.”
“You owe them nothing.”- RogueInsanity90
“NTA.”
“And consider hiring security for your wedding.”
“Your sister seems like the type to throw a tantrum to ruin your big day.”- Wooden_Insurance1411
“Your sister sounds super jealous.”
“I lol’d about her mistaking a Valentino for a hot topic purse.”
“How embarrassing for her.”
“NTA.”
“No need to invite drama into your wedding.”- MissKrys2020
“NTA.”
“Stick to your guns.”- Necessary_Romance
“NTA.”
“Well done!”- Learning-evryday
“NTA.”
“But I wouldn’t put it past your sister to get up at the reception and insult your bride in her toast or spill wine on her dress or something.”- No_Confidence5235
“Don’t let your sister be a bridesmaid and good on you for standing up for Missy.”
“NTA.”- KimB-booksncats-11
“You are NTA at all.”
“In fact, you’re behaving like a loyal and protective partner to Missy.”
“She deserves better than to have a catty SIL at her wedding.”
“If she did include your sister as a bridesmaid, I have no doubt your sister would do everything in her power to upstage your fiancée and ruin her big day.”- bantling00
“NTA.”
“Your sister is a problem you can’t solve and your parents aren’t willing to.”
“Enjoy your wedding without her.”- Immediate-Horse-3254
“WTF is wrong with your parents?”
“Sarah has been harassing Missy for 6 years.”
“Missy should not have to deal with her any more than absolutely necessary.”
“Seat her in a corner somewhere, out of your line of vision (if she makes it to the reception).”
“Tell your parents that Sarah will have to be on her very best behavior if she expects an invitation to the wedding.”
“Remind them that even then, the invitation can be revoked at any time, and she can always be removed from the wedding should she not be able to control herself.”
“If she makes it, be sure to have someone ‘assigned’ to her.”
“Truthfully, I don’t think I would trust her not to make a scene.”
“Make sure that your parents understand that the subject is closed.”
“Sarah has no place in your wedding party.”
“Reiterate that they, too, can be left off the guest list should they not respect your decision.”
“Above all else, shield Missy from Sarah’s nastiness.”
“NTA!”- uTop-Artichoke5020
Considering Sarah almost never had anything nice to say about Missy, either behind her back or to her face, it’s hard to even begin to imagine how she ever expected to be a bridesmaid.
It just goes to show that she truly does only think of herself and no one else.
One can only hope that her exclusion from the wedding will at least plant the seed that she needs to start being a little more compassionate to others.
Only that would require her to think of someone other than herself, which is clearly her biggest challenge…