Sharing food can be a dealbreaker in the best of relationships.
Some people have no issue with it.
And others will chop off another person’s appendage.
This is a conflict for the ages.
Redditor Throwra–0003 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for refusing to share food I had ordered for myself?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“This week I had a minor examination at the hospital that required me to not eat for 24 hours prior to the test.”
“My appointment was also delayed by 4 hours so by the time it was done and by the time I got home it was over 32-34 hours since I had eaten anything.”
“Because of this I was very hungry and tired so I decided to order some food.”
“I asked my G[irl]F[riend] if she wanted anything but she said no.”
“My girlfriend said she’d rather cook than order out, but I said I’d prefer a takeaway so we can just have separate meals.”
“She said she’d rather we both just cooked but I again refused and told her I’m ordering myself food.”
“I ordered the food and she decided not to cook and just said she didn’t want anything.”
“Once my food came, I was sitting eating, and she came over and asked if she could have some.”
“I asked if she was serious.”
“I pointed out I asked her multiple times if she wanted anything and she’s waited for me to sit and enjoy my food to try and take it.”
“I mentioned that I’ve ordered exactly what I was because of how hungry I am but she just said she was hungry too since she hadn’t eaten.”
“I mentioned that the only reason she hadn’t eaten was because I didn’t want to cook for her and that doesn’t mean she can come and take my food instead.”
“I said if she wants something to eat she can either order herself something or cook it but I’m not sharing what I ordered.”
“She said I was being too selfish and that I have enough to share so I should be fine sharing with her.”
“She said she’s not asking for much and that I’m being unfair.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITAH for refusing to share the food I ordered?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“You are not the a-hole.”
“Your girlfriend, on the other hand, is a lazy a-hole.”
“You gave her several opportunities to decide between ordering food like you were or cooking something for herself.”
“She chose the latter and then changed her mind, expecting you to make up for her indecision and unwillingness (i.e., laziness) to cook as she had originally decided.”
“When you add to this that she knew you were recovering from a procedure in which you had not been able to eat beforehand and were very hungry that makes her look even worse.”
“The icing on the cake is when she accuses you of being the selfish one.”
“That is really a poor attempt at gaslighting.”
“If this is just one example of selfish, entitled behavior on her part… and there are many more and worse ones, please re-evaluate this relationship.” ~ anitarielleliphe
“Agree with NTA, but that’s not gaslighting.”
“Gaslighting isn’t just lying, it’s lying with the intent of making the person being lied to legitimately think they’re going crazy.”
“‘I never said I was gonna cook, I asked you to order me [food], and since you didn’t you owe me’ would be gaslighting.” ~ AllegraO
“It’s called being selfish.”
“A perfectly simple term that gets right to the point.”
“Selfish. OP, you are NTA.”
“This is also why you should schedule your colonoscopy first thing in the AM.”
“The younger you are, the more schedulers will try to put you toward the end of the day, thinking a 40-year-old can go without eating with less agony than a 70-year-old. Hell no.”
“You will starve all day and be ready to eat several bowls of Mac and cheese when you are finally done.” ~ ScaredSpace7064
“I’m not married or dating.”
“The last time I had a situation like this two different family members brought me food— the one who picked me up had something for me waiting in the car, the 2nd left food at my house.”
“It wasn’t even anything major, and I didn’t ask or expect it.”
“Am I incredibly lucky? Yes!!!! “
“However, 2 people who don’t depend on me for money, sex, or housekeeping cared enough about me to help me out even if there was nothing in it for them and actually was inconvenient because they don’t live nearby.”
“OP, that’s what a relationship is.”
“That’s the minimum.”
“A true relationship isn’t transactional or ‘all about me,’ it’s supposed to be ‘all about us.'”
“If this behavior is her default position, then you need to evaluate what you feel you need and deserve.” ~ Gullible_Concept_428
“That’s the biggest issue I have with OP’s GF – OP was getting medical procedures done, that’s so stressful, and they would clearly need food when they’re done.”
“Doesn’t matter the gender, if your S[ignificant] O[ther] is getting checked out by the doctor all day you should look out for them and make sure they have food when it is done!”
“If the GF was insisting on cooking, she should have done it!”
“If she didn’t feel like cooking, takeout is acceptable!”
“My spouse would do this for me, and I for them.” ~ gingerminja
“OP could have left out everything about not being able to eat for over 30 hours and just given the details from when he decided to order and after, and I would say that he is NTA.”
“It’s frustrating when you ask someone directly what they want to do and they tell you only for them to change their mind later and try to take from you what they said they didn’t want.”
“You having a reason for being extra hungry was, of course, just the icing on the cake. NTA.” ~ AnonymousTXMale
“NTA. You gave her a few chances to order something AND she still could have cooked something for herself.”
“I would have also played the ‘I haven’t eaten in over 24 hours card’ and explained you probably have low blood sugar and this isn’t the time to change your mind at the last minute.”
“She also could have just ordered food for herself at that point.”
“No rule you can’t order twice or order from a second place.” ~ QuietObserver75
“Honestly, OP handled this a lot better than I would’ve.”
“I get hangry when I go without food too long, and I would’ve been a lot more rude to her.”
“It’s also weird that GF knew OP was undergoing this test and didn’t think to order or prepare anything for them afterward.”
“Not that it’s obligatory, but when you’re in a relationship and care for each other, you do things to help each other.”
“When my fiancee had to go to the ER, I made sure she had food and water, and I ordered whatever food she wanted when we got home for dinner.”
“If my fiancee fasted for nearly 30 hours, you can bet I’d have at least something prepared when they got home, even if it was a simple pasta dish or muffins or something, y’know?” ~ Putrid_Performer2509
“When my niece was about a year old, she caught some type of stomach virus (I can’t remember what it was).”
“Before she was officially diagnosed and they were still trying to figure it out, she had to stop eating because she kept vomiting.”
“After several hours of crying and begging for food non-stop, I remember the way her tiny body was so depleted she just lay there immobile but dry, crying from dehydration, and she would jerk whenever she’d sniffle.”
“Hungry babies are the saddest thing to witness. 🙁 “
“That aside, NTA.” ~ CapShoTall612
“Exactly! I recently had to go almost 48 hours without food in the hospital (my operation was moved to the next day because of emergency operations), and afterward, I only got a very light diet of hospital food for another 48 hours.”
“You bet your @ss my husband had the food that I’d been craving for 4 days already in the back seat when he picked me up from the hospital!”
“OP is NTA, and I’m really wondering if his partner ever takes care of him when he’s sick or something.” ~ TurnipWorldly9437
“What gets me is she wanted him to cook for her.”
“She chose the cook-for-self option but thought even though he was ordering takeout, he’d cook for her?!”
“NTA. GF is very self-involved.” ~ Hot-Adhesiveness-438
“Don’t listen to these commenters telling you you should have gotten food for your girlfriend.”
“You’re 100% NTA.”
“I think it’s hilarious that they’re all saying you should always disregard what your adult girlfriend tells you and do what you think is best for her.”
“I guarantee that if you’d written this entire scenario except that you ordered her food and she didn’t want it, they’d all be coming after you for being a misogynist, thinking you know better than she does what she wants/needs.”
“Not to mention that you hadn’t eaten for a day and a half – you weren’t exactly in a state of mind to problem solve for someone who has told you repeatedly there isn’t a problem.”
“I know when I’m super hungry, I get loopy; I’m not out trying to decipher the hidden meaning behind what my partner is saying to me.”
“Your girlfriend was playing some kind of game with you and unfortunately, she lost.”
“Next time, she should either be honest or tell you the rules of her little game so the playing field is level.”
“Signed, a 55 F married for 27 years and with my husband for 37 years.”
“We’d never have gotten this far playing mind games with each other.” ~ geckotatgirl
“Obligatory ‘Joey doesn’t share food!’ comment.”
“Assuming this is real, NTA.”
“You hadn’t eaten for nearly 1 and a half days, and she told you multiple times that she didn’t want anything before you ordered. I’d be famished, temperamental, and Hangry.”
“Don’t touch my food.” ~ KronkLaSworda
Well, OP, you were hungry and recovering from a medical procedure.
You also generously offered to order food for your GF.
She should’ve taken your offer or started cooking for herself.
All is fair in love and food.