People make mistakes every day.
Sometimes, those mistakes are no big deal.
And mistakes can be costly.
Costly, as in a loss of money.
Redditor pxsypaintsa1000words wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for refusing to immediately replace an item I broke?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“A guy I’ve been seeing invited me to have dinner with him and a married couple he’s friends with last week.”
“The dinner was mostly uneventful, they were polite, and we had good conversations.”
“Towards the end of the evening, I excused myself to go to the restroom and on my way there, accidentally knocked a trinket bowl off the edge of the counter, and it broke.”
“I let the hosts know, was greatly apologetic, and I offered to replace the bowl.”
“Originally, they had said it was fine, and that was sort of the end of it.”
“I was embarrassed by the situation but just did my best to put it in the back of my mind, and that was that.”
“Skip a few days ahead, and my date gets a text from the husband asking if I can replace the bowl.”
“Date let me know, obviously not a big deal but I was a bit worried since this couple is clearly in a different tax bracket than me.”
“The husband and I exchanged information, and Lo and behold, the bowl is nearly $1500.”
“Not going to lie I kind of s**t my pants on that one.”
“It also made me slightly upset because while it was my mistake…. Who precariously places a bowl that expensive on the edge of a counter???”
“I let him know that I didn’t have that much disposable money but asked if they would be willing to accept a payment plan or give me some time to save.”
“Up till then he’d been polite, but it quickly turned into ‘your lack of finances is not our concern’ and they suggested I open a credit card, in that case, to purchase the bowl immediately and pay it back later on my own time with interest.”
“I barely just paid off the veterinarian debt I had racked up on my credit card and shot down that option.”
“Date is on my side and is considering no longer speaking to them over this since the bowl didn’t have any significance to them.”
“Family is completely on my side.”
“I feel terrible about it all, but just don’t see opening another credit card as an actual option here.”
“Wondered what Reddit would think since I’ve never had a conflict worthy of a post.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Not only are you NTA but I’m calling bulls**t on that being a $1500 bowl.”
“Something similar happened to my parents, who were staying in an Airbnb.”
“I know damn well people don’t generally leave rare antiques lying around Airbnbs, so when my mother told me the host was trying to charge her, I did a quick Google search and found out the same ‘rare vase’ was about $29 at HomeGoods.”
“I think you are getting shaken down.”
“If they can afford a $1500 bowl, they can afford homeowner’s insurance.” ~ JurgusRudkus
“Yeah, you need a link to the BOWL. Not cash.”
“Also, hell no.”
“You are NOT the AH. NTA.”
“I had a dumb kid run over my mailbox.”
“He tried to drive off but my neighbor stopped him.”
“I called to see how much it would be to replace it and have my builder come put in the new one. $300.”
“So I told that to the kid and he was obviously a kid with no money.”
“He said he didn’t have that much but could do a hundred and payment plans.”
“So I was like, how about just give me the hundred and don’t speed and text anymore?”
“I didn’t hold him to money he didn’t have.”
“And arguably, that was a cheap mailbox and not a precarious place where people could break it.
“You offered to replace, and they said it was fine.”
“I bet they got it from some TJ Maxx or something.”
“I bet you could find one much cheaper if they care that much about the bowl.”
“Ask for a link and Google image search it.”
“Though honestly, I wouldn’t pay them at all.”
“Especially when they’re asking you to take out credit card debt.”
“You have guests over, accidents happen.”
“I had a friend lean too far back in a dining room chair and he fell back and broke it.”
“I never entertained the idea of him replacing it.”
“S**t happens.”
“I was more concerned that he was ok.” ~ KCarriere
“You want to see a link to the bowl so you can ensure that what you are paying to replace is, in fact, the item that was broken.”
“A $1500 bowl would only be left on the edge of the counter by someone who is affluent enough to afford said $1500 bowl to get broken.”
“Anyone else would have it in a china cabinet or treated as the treasure it is.”
“OP, I’d HIGHLY suggest you go online and type in the specs of the bowl you broke (the colors of the pattern—look on Replacements Unlimited) because you are bound to find the exact bowl.”
“Then order the replacement for them.”
“But absolutely do NOT just hand over cash.”
“That is insane.” ~ Organic-Willow2835
“NTA. If a bowl costs $1500, maybe don’t leave it on the edge of a counter.”
“Also they originally said it was fine.”
“Why are they back peddling?”
“This feels less about the bowl and more about reminding you who has the money and who doesn’t.” ~ 30_rocks
“You’re NTA here.”
“If they can afford to spend $1500 on a small trinket, they don’t need the money immediately.”
“They seem very pushy and telling you to open a credit card is unreasonable.”
“I would be asking for receipts before handing any money over.” ~ Suspicious_Drummer0
“This is the best comment so far.”
“If they can afford $1,500 for a trinket bowl, they are not hurting for the money.”
“I’d be asking for a link/proof of the price before even considering replacement.”
“If they are insistent that OP replace the bowl, they need to be open to a different, lower-priced item that fits her budget.”
“I’d also hope that if you are buying $1,500 trinket bowls, your home insurance covers items like this.”
“I know mine covers s**t like this, not that I’m buying trinkets worth thousands of dollars.”
“Their ask for OP to open a credit card to cover this is some entitled, AH behavior.”
“NTA.” ~ Discount_Mithral
“You offered to pay for it, but they declined.”
“That should have been the end of it, and the fact that they also refused to accept a payment plan, after going back on declining your initial offer, naw.”
“You’ve been perfectly reasonable, and they are not.”
“And don’t open a credit card just to pay for it; the fact that that was an option they presented shows they are out of touch, and you sound like you don’t need friends like that.” ~ eleseus41
“NTA. You offered a reasonable plan for repayment of the bowl’s cost.”
“Lots of people don’t have $1500. They can just cough up.”
“The only thing additional that you could have done, and you may have, was to include interest on your payment plan.”
“Honestly, given the husband’s behavior, I would want to see some kind of evidence that the value of the bowl is that much.”
“Normally, I would just accept someone’s word but his unwillingness to accept anything but immediate payment in full does make me wonder.” ~ felice60
“NTA that’s crazy!”
“If they truly expect you to replace it, they need to send you the retail link for you to purchase a replacement or agree to a payment plan, not just take their word for it.”
“I bet it doesn’t cost that much, especially since they waited a few days to tell you to replace it, after initially saying it was OK.”
“I feel like they talked about it and realized they could scam you.”
“And really, at worst they should be asking you to split the cost, as they recklessly left an expensive piece on the edge of a counter.”
“Expecting you to open a credit card to replace a trinket is INSANE.”
“A friend was using something at my house that broke a few weekends ago and was so upset and apologetic, and I would NEVER have dreamt of making them replace it, all I cared about was that they weren’t injured.” ~ Jerseygirl2468
“NTA: I sincerely doubt that bowl is that much money.”
“Try finding the bowl online yourself and seeing how much it is.”
“Not sure if this was said, but if it was on the edge of a counter, that’s a liability on them, so you really should only have to pay half of the cost.”
“Fake rich people like to do this all the time.”
“They threaten to take you to small claims court or upcharge for small things.”
“This was an accident, and even the court system does payment plans LOL 😂.”
“My advice, find an accurate listing of the price online and go from there.”
“Hope this helps!” ~ Rose_Frank_36
“NTA because are they putting a Ming dynasty bowl in a place where it can easily be broken?”
“And this is starting to sound like a scam – if it was really worth over 1k the couple would have said something immediately and had it insured.”
“If you feel that guilty, repeat that you’re willing to start a payment plan, but you’re not going to go into debt just because they’re being unreasonable.”
“And that’s that.” ~ Lisbei
“NTA, you already offered to pay for it and they declined.”
“End of Story.” ~ FangornWanders
Reddit is with you, OP.
You have offered to pay for your mistake.
They can’t get blood from a stone.
They can either accept your offer or move on.
Glad that your “date” is on your side.
Good Luck.