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Dad Upset After Daughter Refuses To Collect Her Hair In A Drawer So Nobody Traces Their DNA

A woman blow dries and combs her long hair
Boy_Anupong/Getty Images

Every family has different eccentricities.

For instance, some people like collecting things.

And what they collect can raise great confusion for others.

It’s all part of the fun of family, right?

Case in point…

Redditor Formal-Ad-7094 to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for throwing away my hair in the trash?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My (23 F[emale]) dad (61 M[ale]) has this thing where he asks everyone in the family to collect their shed hair from their wash days or combing or brushing and place it in a drawer in his room.”

“It’s a massive drawer of dusty, dirty hair, and he plans to burn it all one day.”

“I wish I was making this up, but I swear I’m not.”

“The last time he burned his last batch had to be a few years ago.”

“Why, you ask?”

“He’s afraid of people finding our hair somehow and tracing our DNA.”

“Again, swear I was making this up–I’m not.”

“I’ve always found it cuckoo, and I’d rather just toss my hair in the trash instead of this weirdo drawer.”

“So I started doing that, except I put it in folded-up paper towels so he wouldn’t see it in the garbage and get upset.”

“However, I’m guessing one day I didn’t hide the hair good enough, and he found my balled-up napkins (he takes the trash out in our family) and told me to stop.”

“I slowed down, but didn’t stop, and ever since he found the first one he generally unballs paper towels from our bathroom trash to find hair because he knows I’ll hide them.”

“Last time he found one, he got really upset with me and told me to stop.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA – Sounds like your dad killed someone in the 80s and he’s scared that he’s going to get caught.”  ~ BeepBlipBlapBloop

“NTA. Do 23andMe and then tell him it’s already too late for your DNA to stay a secret whenever he complains… lol.”  ~ Mentathiel

“NTA. You need to go ahead and submit your DNA to one of those crime prevention sites.”

“Maybe he ‘just’ has a paranoid disorder of some sort but maybe he did something which could be revealed by DNA.”

“Companies like 23and me do not just tell you what ethnicities and illnesses are buried in your DNA.”

“They also work with the police or government, and if they get your DNA by extension, they get parts of your father’s and could solve a crime your father committed.”

“But long story short: I just think it is more likely your father is just paranoid.”

“Does he have other tendencies like this?”  ~ zwergenbrot

“OP, does your father have mental health issues?”

“My father had issues mentally as well as anxiety and paranoia.”

“My father was medicated for it eventually, but not before he destroyed our family.”

“He displayed similar behavior traits at the beginning.”

“My father’s became much, much worse when he used alcohol and drug-specifically stimulants.”

“I’m not saying OP’s father and mine have the same issue.”

“Especially since it’s described so causally. Just saying some anxiety or other mental health issues can cause paranoia.”

“If so, then maybe give him a break since it’s not hurting you or anyone. NTA.” ~ Agile_Salary_9280

“NTA. If this is legit, then your family needs to be staging a little intervention with your father.”

“This isn’t normal behavior by a long shot.”  ~ RB1327

“I agree. This screams mental illness to me.”

“Your family needs to get your dad on board with being assessed by mental health professionals.”

“Paranoid schizophrenia springs to mind, but I’m no expert. NTA.”  ~ manonaca

“Let the chips fall where they may.”  ~ mesutora

“Oh my God, my grandma did this.”

“But it was so no one could curse her.”

“She would collect it from the hairdresser.”

“I f**king forgot about this until right now.”

“Aww, I miss that sweet, weird old lady.”

“You’re not the a**hole, but I understand the situation going on.”

“It’s hard to argue with old-school crazy.”

“I’d wrap it better, don’t flush it.”

“Thanks for the memory.”  ~ drulaps

“NTA – What on earth is your dad hiding/hiding from that he’s so terrified of a potential DNA run?”

“I can’t decide if it’s unacknowledged children or something fit for a crime podcast.”  ~ Dipping_My_Toes

“NTA. And totally agree with the responses thus far.”

“Your dad totally has delusional disorder or some other psychiatric diagnosis OR…”

“He did something he shouldn’t have.”

“Call me a rebel, but the second I was allowed, I’d get my DNA tested just to see what I can learn, if anything, about my family history.”  ~ Gpeachy421

“NTA. Your dad clearly has some mental health issues that haven’t been addressed, but you’re a grown-up and can do what you like with your hair.”  ~ CrystalQueen3000

“Just burn your brown hair.”

“Honestly sounds like dad is afraid of getting caught up in a crime by DNA.”

“Personally I’d go do a DNA test just to see (keep it anonymous) rather than that.”

“NTA, just burn your own hair.”

“Cringy asf him going in the trash…. maybe put the hair in a used period pad and wrap it up?”

“He should NOT be going through your things, especially in the trash!”  ~ IvyKane1001

“NTA. He sounds like he’s suffering from mental illness.”

“This sort of thing can have a religious foundation, but the DNA concern is a paranoid issue.” ~LadyCass79

“Sweet baby Thor.”

“What did I just read?”

“Is your dad an 80s serial killer?”

“Because I am getting such Golden State Killer vibes here, I can’t even tell you.”

“Maybe set up an intervention here and demand that he see a mental health professional because this is a worrying sign of SOMETHING.”

“Oh, and NTA, obviously.”  ~ Elisa-Maza

“I work in manufacturing and have left hair, sweat, full hand prints, (and probably some blood) on rolls of material heading all over the world.”

“If he’s got something right here I’m screwed.”

“Jokes aside, NTA.”  ~ teflonshaun

“NTA. I usually clean out my shower with toilet paper and flush it down the toilet!”

“Same for hairbrushes!”

“That may help with this absolutely insane request by the way.”

“This is poop-knife levels of Reddit infamy.”

“Also, not to freak you out, but it’s like 99% probable your dad is involved/the perpetrator of an unsolved crime.” ~ iwantasecretgarden

“NTA. When my mother started doing weird paranoid stuff like this.”

“Not this exactly but she started booby-trapping the house to prove people were out to get her it turned out she had a brain tumor that was causing her to have these irrational thoughts and fears.”

“You are not an AH for not wanting to play into his behavior.”

‘But I do think you and the rest of your family should think about getting him looked at.”

“We were ready to commit my mother, but in her state, you have to have a C[omputerized] T[omography] scan before you can be committed against your will if you are an adult.”

“That was when they found the tumor.”  ~ AriaMoonriser

“NTA… he’s got some sort of weird compulsion.”  ~ Lycaeides13

“NTA, but your dad seems to be suffering some unhealthy paranoia.”

“His behavior is not normal.”  ~ Yetis-unicorn

OP came back with a few thoughts…

“Okay, wow, only a few people so far but I genuinely expected to get YTAs.”

“So I talked to my dad and asked him why he does his collecting hair thing.”

“It’s what I thought it was: he doesn’t want random people finding it in the trash (or maybe the trashmen), having his DNA, and using it for nefarious reasons, like framing him for crimes.”

“I asked him what about when he gets his hair cut in barbershops, and he says he hates when he has to leave it behind, and almost brought a broom and dustpan to clean it up one time.”

“But decided against it when he realized he’d have other people’s hair/DNA too.”

“Needless to say, the pandemic has been a huge relief for him because he’s been cutting his hair at home ever since.”

“He also told me–which I did not know–that he’s been rinsing out his used napkins/paper towels at home and recycling them, to rid them of their DNA.”

“I joked with him and said, ‘I think you’re a serial killer,’ and he said, ‘Yeah, I’m like BTK.’ (!!!)”

“Overall, my serial killer concerns are not real.”

“My dad has always had many eccentricities, and this is one of them, and it turns out my mom’s more into it than I thought because she seconded, ‘Yeah, I don’t want my DNA out like that…'”

“I’ll just keep putting my hair into the drawer until I move out.”

“I love my (sometimes crazy) parents.”

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

But it’s nice to hear that you found a way to have peace with this issue.