Some people choose to follow a very structured or restrictive diet because of their personal beliefs.
Others are forced to limit exposure to certain foods because of allergies, food sensitivities, or certain diseases or disorders, like diabetes or celiac.
Does that mean everyone else in their household should follow the same diet?
A woman who’s on a restricted diet because of her health turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Bluebiird95 asked:
“AITA for forcing my diet on my boyfriend?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I’m from France originally, and I moved to the United States almost 2 years ago. Now, for some reason, the food here makes me sick. Not in an ‘Ew, that’s gross ‘kind of way. But actually physically sick.”
“My body seems to struggle to digest it. Whether it’s take-out or fancy restaurant food. Either I can’t go to the bathroom for days, or I’m violently vomiting.”
“I tried dealing with it for months and months, but I started losing weight very quickly because I couldn’t eat. I ended up developing a serious aversion to food, and my family recommended I go and speak to a specialist.”
“I had never had a problem back home, and I was terrified I was seriously ill. So I went to multiple doctors, where I was poked and prodded, and I had multiple tests done. They have all said nothing is wrong with me physically.”
“I spoke to a dietitian and he explained that my body is probably not used to the amount of salt and preservatives that are found in the food in the States. Please don’t think I’m bashing the US! I love it here and it’s a great country.”
“My dietician recommended fresh and organic produce to see how my body coped, and to my delight, I improved.”
“I stopped vomiting, and I was able to start slowly putting weight back on. I started making meals from scratch and meal prepping to save time throughout the week.”
“My dad is actually a chef back home, so he was more than happy to send me some recipes to keep my diet interesting. I made a delicious vegetarian lasagna from scratch and put it in the oven to cook.”
“My boyfriend (American) came home after work and asked what was for dinner. I said I was making a veggie lasagna. He rolled his eyes and said he was sick of ‘that organic crap’ and wanted a cheeseburger.”
“The comment hurt. I made a real effort at meal times to keep it varied so we’re not always eating the same thing. I said I couldn’t make one because I didn’t even have any burger buns.”
“He said it was unfair to ‘make’ him eat my diet. I had never realized he was opposed to it.”
“He benefited from home-cooked meals, and I had seen that his clothes were fitting him better. He had more energy, and he didn’t sleep so much on the weekends.”
“I apologized and said I didn’t mean to make him feel forced.”
“AITA for forcing my diet on him?”
The OP later added:
“Just to clear a few things up; when I started my diet, I explained to my boyfriend what the nutritionist/dietitian had told me.
“He said quote: ‘OK. We will give it a try and see how it goes’. Because he had said “’we’, I just figured he was, including himself.”
“I also work. My lunch break is shorter, so I get back home first.”
“The meals I made were not strictly vegetarian. I made things like chicken pot pie, casserole, tuna pasta, beef burritos, bolognese with homemade meatballs, and he had a meat lasagna last week.”
“That’s why I was making a veggie one. I thought it would make a nice change. I would also make homemade burgers at the weekend, even make the buns from scratch too.”
“I had also made my dad’s friand à la saucisse a couple of times. He ended up ordering a burger from Uber eats that night.”
“So I came to the conclusion he just wanted takeout.”
“I’m sorry if I gave the impression my diet was strictly vegetarian or vegan. I didn’t do a very good job of explaining it, so I apologize.”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I want to know if I’m in the wrong because I somehow forced my boyfriend to eat the same diet as me. My boyfriend said it was unfair of me to push my dietary needs onto him.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. You’re not forcing your diet on him. He can go out and buy himself a cheeseburger. Or make it himself.”
“He’s TA for expecting you to cook food for him that you can’t even eat.” ~ JanileeJ
“He’s apparently an adult human, and I may be presumptuous in thinking this, but surely he has hands and can make his own damn dinner.”
“My husband and I don’t always have the same taste in food, so when I make something he doesn’t want he uses the hands that are conveniently attached to his arms to make his own dinner or operate the car to pick up something.” ~ CaptainLollygag
“NTA. He is grown. He can make his own food. He can feed his own self. You are not responsible for feeding a grown man because he doesn’t want to put in the effort.” ~ ToldU2UrFace
“NTA. You aren’t forcing your diet on him. You’re simply cooking what you can eat, and you are kind enough to share with him. If he wants a cheeseburger, he can figure out his way around the kitchen. You’re his girlfriend, not his mom.” ~ Peep_Power_77
“NTA, if he wants to eat different food, he can cook it himself or order it. Your diet is for your health, don’t let his complaining get in the way of that.” ~ Friendly_Evening_949
The OP provided an update:
“My boyfriend came home from work, and so he didn’t feel like I was pushing him, I didn’t make anything for dinner. He asked what I was making, and I replied that I was going to let him choose what we ate.”
“He TUTTED!!!!”
“He said he was starving. He’d had a long day at work and was hoping dinner would be ready by the time he walked in the door.”
“I was mad at his reaction. My brain was telling me he was unhappy if dinner was ready and he was unhappy if it wasn’t.”
“But I calmed myself down. I realized we needed to have a serious talk about our relationship.”
“Long story short, we are no longer together.”
“I have taken some advice from many people on here and come to the conclusion that we are just no longer compatible. Posting on here has probably been the best thing I could’ve done when I think about it.”
“It’s helped me realize that I do most of the emotional labor in our relationship. And I want a partner that will appreciate the things I do, and do the occasional nice thing in return.”
“It’s not just the cooking that I do. I do the housework, shopping, laundry, and I also work.”
“The chore list is something we have discussed before. Quite a few times, actually. He always says he’ll pitch in more, and he never does.”
“He has, however, apologized for what he said about my cooking the night before. Apparently, another worker has chewed his ear off and said he was very lucky to have someone cook him dinner every night and didn’t just have a microwave meal and an empty apartment to go back to.”
“I apologized again for ever making him feel like I was forcing him to eat what I did. He asked if there was any way we could stay together.”
“I was honest and said it wasn’t going to happen. My lease is up in December. A fact he already knows. I was going to tell my landlord that I wasn’t going to renew it. I also told him that I’m going to hand in my notice at work and go home.”
“He asked me to think about it some more and to call him if I changed my mind before he left.”
“He’s back at the weekend for the rest of his stuff, and I honestly feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel so much lighter. I did and do still love him. And I hope he finds someone who makes him happy in the long run.”
“I’m looking forward to going home. My parents are ecstatic I’m coming back.”
“Thank you to everyone for your advice. Somehow this AITA post turned into some serious self reflection and relationship therapy.”
“My boss is sad to see me go and said to give him a call if I ever want to come back.”
“I have come to the conclusion that, no. I am NTA.”
Sometimes it takes something seemingly small or unrelated fof us to realize there are big problems in our relationships.
While the OP started wondering about their diet, in the end, food was the least of their problems.
Hopefully OP’s health improves once they return home.