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Parent Discourages Stepdaughter From Becoming A Doctor Because Her GPA Isn’t High Enough

A mom and daughter sit and have a heated discussion

It’s very noble to want to be a doctor.

But don’t be fooled, it isn’t as easy ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ makes it look.

And once people get into study and start talking tuition, a lot can change.

Case in point…

Redditor Material-Economy2823 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

“AITA for not paying for my stepdaughter’s tuition because she wants to be a doctor?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My wife and I have been married for a decade.”

“She’s a stay at home wife and we have no children of our own.”

“She has a daughter from a previous relationship (Sarah) and we’ve gotten along for the most part.”

“Sarah is a junior in college and pursuing a biology degree with additional courses required by medical schools.”

“She’s had dream of being a doctor and helping people since her mom and I met.”

“The problem is she’s not a very good student.”

“She’s failed her biology 1 class and had to retake it to get a B.”

“She really struggled in her next level biology class and finished with a C.”

“She also got a C in her chemistry class.”

“She got a B in calculus 1 and 2.”

“She’s making A’s in her non science and non math classes so they’re padding her GPA which is at a 3.2.”

“This semester I just learned she will make B’s and C’s in her science and math classes.”

“I’m not a doctor and I don’t know any doctors but I did online research.”

“I found out that medical schools require many things but at the top of the list they is a high GPA and top grades in science and math classes.”

“With Sarah’s grades, she’s not getting into any medical school.”

“I even looked into nursing school to see if I can talk her into going that route and all the ones I looked at require higher grades than what she has.”

“I talked with my wife about it and she said medical school looks at other things besides grades and that’s where Sarah excels.”

“She has a solid volunteer resume and she’s cares about people.”

“I argued none of that matters if her grades are not good enough.”

“She argues that Sarah will do great in the interviews.”

“Like I said, I have no experience with medical school so I can’t argue with her logic.”

“Instead, I talked with Sarah when she came home for Thanksgiving and told her to look into another major because she might not be cut out to be a doctor.”

“She ran to her mom and we all got into a huge argument.”

“I admit I lost my temper and yelled that I’m not wasting any more money on something she’ll fail at.”

“I told them both I’m not paying for next semester’s classes unless she changes her major to something more realistic.”

“I feel bad.”

“I really do but I’m not rich and I don’t have money to waste if she doesn’t have a chance to get into medical school.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. The ‘YTA’ people are ridiculous.”

“Medical schools are very competitive and everyone of them have a minimum GPA requirement.”

“If her GPA is below that, they’ll automatically reject her without the chance of an interview.”

“While she can make a decent living with a biology degree, she has to be good in science and math to excel in those fields.”

“If she’s making B’s and C’s, they’re not even going to interview her.”

“I understand the people saying you should give her a semester to improve but they don’t understand how science and math work.”

“The more advance science and math classes are built upon what should have been learned in the lower level classes.”

“If she’s making B’s and C’s in lower level classes, she’s going to really struggle in upper level classes.”

“If she got a C in basic chem, she’s not going to get an A in organic chem.”  ~ nonamenonumber4378

“This is accurate.”

“OP is NTA for being realistic.”

“Mom is being a ‘100% supportive no matter what’ parent, but that is not always the most helpful in the long run.”

“Someone needs to be objective since the family is not wealthy enough to fund multiple college degrees for Sarah.”  ~ Prestigious_Isopod72

“NTA. I am a physician and went through the rigors of applications back in the day.”

“OP is 100% correct in saying a biology degree is useless.”

“In fact, if she can’t get at least a 3.5 GPA in general biology, there is a next to 0% chance of her getting even 1 interview for medical school.”

“Almost all medical students have hundreds of hours of volunteer work and research in addition to having a high GPA and MCAT score.”

“Being a doctor, first and foremost, requires one to know how to study effectively and digest large quantities of material for memorization.”

“When she gets to medical school, she’ll have to retake each of her science classes with the materials condensed down from 2 semesters into 2 weeks.”

“Biochemistry is a 2-week class. Cell biology is 2 weeks.”

“Cardiology is completed in 2-3 weeks. etc.”

“It means 8 hrs of lecture a day for each topic, 8 hours of studying at home thereafter to digest, and a final exam every 2-3 weeks.”

“This continues on repeat for 2 years.”

“This sets the foundation for medicine which then officially starts in year 3, when you work on clinical rotation for 12 hrs a day then go home and study for 2-4 hrs for your upcoming examination for each field you work in.”

“Essentially, medical school is undoubtedly one of the worst experiences I’ve gone through in terms of quality of life.”

“If she can’t keep up with entry-level undergrad-level courses, medical school is next to impossible.”  ~ pimpostrous

“NTA. Hijacking because I’m a med school professor.”

“The likelihood of getting into medical school with those scores and G[rade] P[oint] A[verage] (and I’m not sure what her M[edical] C[ollege] A[dmission] T[est] would be but I’m not enthusiastic), would be incredibly low.”

“The students applying to medical school these days have become even more competitive as the years have passed, with the average student having high GPAs, excellent letters and literally hundreds of hours of volunteer work, shadowing, scribing etc.”

“There are medical science degrees out there that can prep someone for med school but these are post undergrad.”

“It’ll require significant time, effort, and money to get to that point.”

“If her GPA is 3.2, I think looking into another fulfilling career is the best option.”  ~ livingfire8357

“NTA – Her grades are not good enough so she needs to be realistic and look into something to switch direction to before she’s too deep into the wrong direction.”

“INFO – any reason why your wife is not working if the only child in the home is in college?”

“She could have been working the last 5 years at least if ‘childcare’ was an issue initially.”  ~ Ok-Educator850

“Totally realistic and NTA.”

“In my country competition is really high for medical entrance exam and I was always a good student( 80% and above in all subjects) so I was determined to get into the medical school.”

“I did not get chance on the first year and joined normal graduation school and prepared for the next year.”

“Again did not score enough for medical but thankfully my score was good in math, chemistry and physics and my rank was high for engineering.”

“But I was adamant and ready to waste one more year to get into the med school.”

“But then my father (now dead) gave me an ultimatum to get into engineering or continue with normal graduation course in mathematics(which I was already studying).”

“My not so rich father could not afford anymore and I joined the engineering (heartbroken).”

“But now after 18 years I am so successful.”

“I thank my father for putting the sense into me on the right time!”

“He is no more sad but he saw me getting into my first job and all happy.” ~ Cactus7979

“NTA. Sometimes being a good parent is putting a stop to madness and saying no even though it’s hard.”

“I would go and speak with some professors and guidance counsellors about this and see what they say then have her go with you before any decision is made about her future.”

“It’s her future so you can’t make the decision for her but you do control the money.”

“And she clearly hasn’t put in 100% or she would have got extra tutoring or studied more, done whatever she could have to learn what she needed for the best change at her chosen career.”

“Is she aware the work that goes into being a doctor?”

“What it would be like?”

“Is there some way she can go do some work at a hospital and see how hard it is, see if maybe nursing is best for her.”

“Perhaps look at others ways to help guide her instead of forcing what you think is best, help her see what you already see.”  ~ MilkyPsycow

OP came back with additional info…

“The reason why I want her to switch majors is that having a biology degree without any advanced degree is useless from my research.”

“While I don’t know any doctors, I have friends who have biology degrees without other advanced degrees and they couldn’t do anything with it.”

“One had to go back to school for another degree, one works as an assistant manager at Lowe’s, another has been a receptionist for 20 years.”

“They all advised against getting just a biology degree.”

“While these are all noble jobs, they didn’t need to pay for a biology degree to get those jobs.”

“I’m still willing to pay for her degree if she switches to something that will allow her to get a good job.”

Well OP, Reddit seems to understand your plight.

Education is expensive.

You’re trying make sure.

Hopefully everyone can come to a happy conclusion.