Staying healthy can be a challenge in life.
Healthy foods, gyms, and supplements are all expensive.
But some people don’t need all of those things.
Sometimes the overweight person is healthy already.
And when an overweight person is showing up others who are super fit, that can cause a few issues.
Redditor HunterTop9579 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally, he came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
“AITA for ’embarrassing’ my more fit coworker?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I am a camp counselor (25 M[ale]) who works with elementary-aged boys.”
“To give some context, I am incredibly short and fat.”
“Like, I am under 5 feet tall and around 200 pounds.”
“This does not affect my ability to do my job.”
“I’m just as active as any other counselor.”
“I work with the kids just as much.”
“I have to get blood tests done regularly for unrelated reasons (related to why I’m so short), and there’s never really any concern when it comes to my cholesterol or insulin or anything weight-related.”
“I’m just saying this so you have some context for my general appearance and the fact that no, my weight doesn’t affect my health or my level of activity.”
“My co-counselor is a guy around my age who is (I think) a baseball player.”
“We could not look more different.”
“He’s got more than a foot of height on me and probably about the same weight, so he’s obviously more visibly fit.”
“He brags a lot about how even after we spend all day chasing kids in the sun, he still goes to the gym for a couple of hours.”
“The issue is when it comes to actually having to use strength practically, I outdo him every time.”
“I’m not trying to do it intentionally.”
“But when we have to carry 20 kids backpacks and he can only handle 8 while I have 12, or when he can’t open a jar, or when we have to lug heavy equipment and he’s huffing and puffing while I’m not having a problem, it becomes pretty evident that I am just stronger than him, at least for stuff like that.”
“I’m sure he could out-bench me or whatever proper fitness stuff is, and trust me, he crushes me when we play sports with the kids.”
“I’m just talking about that kind of work.”
“The issue is that the kids have started to pick up on the fact that I am the ‘strong counselor.'”
“If they want to be picked up or can’t open something in their lunch or want a break from carrying their bag on a hike, they come to me.”
“Apparently, my co-counselor complained to one of the other counselors that I am ’embarrassing’ him because a guy like me shouldn’t be able to be stronger than him.”
“That counselor then came to me and told me I should tone it done because it can be hard for someone who prides themself on being an athlete to be worse at something than a guy ‘like me.'”
“I said there was no way I was going to do my job worse just to protect hit ego, and the other counselor said I was being a jerk and as the summer goes on the boys might start bullying my co-counselor if they think he’s weaker than me, which I don’t think is going to happen but I’m not sure.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for not wanting to stop doing my job the way I’m doing it so that I don’t hurt this guy’s feelings?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA – Keep doing what you’re doing.’
“Your coworkers make judgments based on your appearance, and they hate being proven wrong.”
“Keep proving them wrong.” ~ Yernar125
“That bit at the end, trying to guilt-trip OP with the bullying potential.”
“None of that is OP’s fault.”
“Anyone who does tease this counselor chooses to do so of their own volition, and how he reacts is on him, whether he doesn’t deal with it, deals with it himself, or takes the issue to the camp director or anyone else in management.”
“OP shouldn’t compromise how he conducts himself with other campers for a hypothetical that doesn’t appear to be coming true (the kids seeing him as the strong one is only a reflection on OP, not the coworker with the bruised ego), and needs to address this with camp management himself before it escalates.” ~ lemon_charlie
“NTA. You’re just doing your job, and from the sounds of it, a pretty good one at that. If anyone’s the a-hole here, it’s your co-counselor.”
“Sure, lots of people feel insecure about their strength, or whatever superficial way in which they measure themselves, but he should in no way be disrespectful to you like that.”
“You are living a healthy life, and he should be happy for you for that, instead of complaining that he should be stronger just because he looks fitter.”
“Looks aren’t everything.”
“You aren’t embarrassing him, you’re just providing someone the kids know they can rely on, instead of a co-counselor who just complains about the other one.” ~ PowerDino1215
“Bahaha! So some random coworker who isn’t even your boss decided to be the mouthpiece for a dude who is intimidated by a ‘guy like you.'”
“If a grown man can be bullied by a bunch of boys that he’s responsible for, he needs another job.”
“NTA. You are not responsible for any adult’s feelings or insecurities.” ~ Ok_Tonight_3703
“NTA. It’s not your fault, he’s going to the gym to work out the show-off muscles.”
“If he wants to be stronger, then he should tailor his own workout to focus on strength rather than cosmetics.”
“Also, he has MUCH bigger problems if he’s getting bullied by elementary-aged boys.” ~ ASaini91
“I’m just trying to imagine being a ‘fit’ approximately 25 M baseball player who goes to another counselor to whine about being outdone by someone else.”
“If he were cooler, he’d give you a fist bump for carrying 12 backpacks at once and a high five.”
“But whining in your 20s over someone else happening to be more skilled is never a good look.”
“And who is the counselor he whined to?”
“They sound like a dolt.”
“You do you.”
“We all have different skills and abilities, greater and lesser strengths.”
“Embrace your strengths and support other people when they are able to show off their strengths.” ~ FinePossession1085
“NTA. Imagine if a coworker at a STEM job came and told a woman working there to perform worse at her job because it was expected that the men coworkers would be better at it, and it might hurt their ego if the woman performs well.” ~ EpicCyclops
“It happens in factories, too.”
“Men get intimidated by a newcomer doing really good, and all hell breaks loose.”
“On top of that, you say you’re busy and get asked why you’re eating then.”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I haven’t eaten since 6 last night and it’s 7 AM?” ~ MoonChild2792
“NTA! Proud of you for rocking your skills and loving yourself for exactly the way you are!”
“You’re clearly a boss, and the kids love you.” ~ Psychological-Work85
“NTA… if he wants to be the go-to guy for those skills, he should get them?”
“I don’t really know how you could tone it down, either.”
“I think it probably wouldn’t make him feel better if you started pretending to struggle.”
“It would be hilarious, but that would be the problem, and kids would absolutely smell blood in the water if you suddenly started acting like him.”
“That’s a red rag to some little bulls that it’s open season to mock him because that’s what it’ll look like.”
“Gym strong vs strong strong are two different things, he just thought his made him superior.”
“It isn’t your problem, he thinks he deserves to be considered better than you, and it’s unhinged someone at your job felt comfortable telling you that he’s so entitled to his superiority it’s now your responsibility to put yourself in your place about it.” ~ libbitha
“NTA… he needs to deal with his own insecurities and stop being such a child about it.”
“You keep doing you!” ~ kacebelle
“NTA. It’s honestly good for the kids to see that strength comes in all shapes and sizes, not just gym-bro style ripped.”
“You faking weakness would not only be ridiculously pandering to this insecure a**hole, but you would be reinforcing for the kids the idea pushed by society that fat/heavier people are weak and useless.”
“And if any of those kids are on the chunkier side?”
“I guarantee right now they love that you are strong, that they can see a real example of someone who isn’t a gym bro being active and able to outdo Mr. Bro.”
“Would you want to take that from them?” ~ totallyworkinghere
“Wait, a camp counselor is afraid of being bullied by the kids he’s responsible for?”
“Sounds like maybe he has bigger worries than his strength relative to yours, like being woefully unqualified for his job.”
“So very NTA.” ~ OsaWyld
“Tell your coworker to direct that to the kids.”
“It’s not your fault, the kids, not you, are choosing to ask you to do things because they think he can’t.”
“You’re not doing anything.”
“Or maybe tell him to stop being so insecure.” ~ Slugzz21
“NTA and I think you wouldn’t be the A-hole if you played up your strength juuuuust a tiny bit.”
“You’re absolutely right not to make yourself metaphorically smaller to protect his ego.” ~ saltycathbk
Reddit understands your frustration, OP.
You don’t need to tailor your life because of someone else’s feelings.
You keep doing your job.
Your co-worker is the one who is going to have to figure out his own issues.
And maybe learn how to open a jar or two.