When it comes to office dress codes, Fridays are no longer the only casual dress days of the work week.
Days of showing up to work in a suit and tie are largely a thing of the past, with T-shirts and jeans becoming much more standard office attire with each passing day.
Which doesn’t mean that one’s choice of clothing still won’t rub a boss or colleague the wrong way.
Redditor Longjumping_Draw_864 could tell that a recent work outfit didn’t appear to meet the approval of their colleague.
And when this colleague confessed as much, the original poster (OP), had their response ready and waiting.
But worried they didn’t handle the situation as best they could have, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my coworker I will cover up my shoulders when he starts wearing shoes?”
The OP explained how they told a colleague who suggested their outfit was inappropriate for the workplace if they were really in any kind of position to do so.
“My workplace doesn’t have a dress code so everyone dresses very casually.”
“Today I was wearing a top with thin straps with long pants and my shoulders were showing.”
“One of my coworkers ‘Brian’ was giving me angry looks all day and when I finally asked him what’s wrong, he told me that he thought better off me than to dress in ‘barely any clothes’ to work.”
“At that moment, Brian was wearing pretty short shorts and was barefoot.”
“He dressed like this the whole summer, the office is carpeted, he only puts on his slippers if he is going to the bathroom or the kitchen.”
“I told Brian that I will start covering up my shoulders when he starts wearing shoes to the office.”
“If I have to watch his hairy toes at work, he can deal with the sight of my shoulders.”
“That of course didn’t help, he put on his headphones and didn’t even look in my direction the rest of the workday.”
“Now I’m wondering if I was wrong to say that.”
“He is a coworker and I should thrive for good work relationships, but I felt insulted so kicked back at him.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not at all the a**Hole for calling their colleague out on his hypocrisy.
Everyone agreed that the OP had the perfect response to Brian’s ignorant observation, with many agreeing that being barefoot in a workplace is in questionable taste, no matter how causal the workplace, and some finding Brian’s actions bordered on, if they weren’t explicitly, harassment.
“No, no, it did help.”
“His doing so and silence simply states ‘Brian’ needs to have a fresh cup of shut the f**k up before he turn on the proverbial neon ‘hypocrite’ sign pointing out his double standard views.”
“Hopefully he thinks twice the next time.”
“NTA.”
“Good on you!”-RabbitOfCaerbonnog
“NTA.”
“That was a funny response to his attempt at shaming you for gasp having shoulders.”
“Also, who goes barefoot at the office?”- CrystalQueen3000
“NTA.”
“Bare feet all summer in the office and he acts like a child about a tank top?”
“Grow up, Brian.”- Pink_RubberDucky
“NTA.”
“Going barefoot is way weirder and more unprofessional than bare shoulders.”- thewalkindude
“Your gasp SHOULDERS were visible!?”
“I’m clutching my pearls over here!”
“NTA.”- Special_Respond7372
“NTA.”
“Tell Brian to not wear booty shorts to work next time he comments.”- Logical-Wasabi7402
“NTA.”
“Your nasty-ass coworker was barefoot every day at work and he had the gall to complain about your shoulders?”
“Unreal.”- Goth-Sloth
“NTA.”
“But tell a safety person he’s wandering around without shoes, which is a liability.”
“If you have HR, get his bullshit ‘he told me that he thought better off me than to dress in “barely any clothes” to work;.”
“His slut shamey nonsense is not okay.”- Sea-Mud5386
“NTA, and I’d find a strapless top to wear tomorrow.”- No-Crew-1641
“NTA.”
“I will never understand this obsession with women’s shoulders.”
“If there is no dress code, Brian can go pound sand.”- twifferTheGnu
“NTA.”
“Hobbit Brian needs to chill his roll.”- Jazzlike_Crew_3956
“Very obviously NTA.”
“Does he have a kink for shoulders or what?”
“If he cannot keep his dong in check that is his problem.”
“He is an adult he should have enough self control to not let some shoulders bother him.”-RandomIntrovertHere
“NTA.”
“And you should go to HR.”
“That’s sexual harassment.”- Ippus_21
“NTA.”
“Brian needs to mind his own business.”- DragonflyMon83
“Absolutely NTA.”
“Barefoot at work?”
“Really?”
“I love being barefoot but not in the office, he sounds like a sexist AH.”- SarielvonLith
“NTA.”
“That’s hilarious.”
“Probably won’t help the co-working relationship, but he needs to hold his opinions to himself sometimes.”- roestzwiebelei
“NTA.”
“Yes you should thrive for good relationships but that does not mean you bow down to others and let them pass any comment or make any request they desire without reply, request of your own or compromise.”
“If he thinks he has the right to be passive aggressive all day with the ‘angry looks’ and not saying anything until you notice he is upset or get sick of his attitude and then request that you cover your SHOULDERS of all things without reply he is deluded!”
“If he thinks he is okay to walk around in short shorts with all that leg and bare feet on show and still pass comment and be openly disgusted and disturbed by the sight of your shoulders then he needs some gender quality education.”
“I think there are some religions that prefer modest fashion for women and areas like the shoulders are an area preferred to be covered.”
“But even if this is part of HIS religion then what right does he have to bring that expectation to someone outside of the religion and within the workplace!”
“He is a hypocrite and if you allow him to get away with these passive aggressive looks to continue in your direction all day what is that doing for a thriving coworker relationship.”
“You have the right to tell someone you are bothered by something but you have to be aware that you most probably have the right for them to just comply, a thriving relationship would be to come to a compromise.”
“But this takes both of you to be on the same page, a thriving relationship of any form is not one sided remember that.”- Fun-Attorney4071
“NTA.”
“He feels entitled to comment on your attire?”
“Then you have permission to do the same.”- akani25
“That is the most perfect response you could have possibly given to that.”
“NTA.”- eric987235
“What in tarnation?”
“He’s barefoot in the office?”- slimcargos
“lmfao he’s a jerk, you’re obviously NTA.”- clubmedschool
“NTA.”
“He sounds gross.”- FlyAwayJai
“NTA.”
“He needs to grow the f up.”
“Showing shoulders isn’t a big deal.”
“If there is no dress code, dress appropriately for you.”
“I just can’t believe he would be complaining of shoulders.”
“It’s not like your boobs are hanging out and your nipples are almost showing, or wearing a short skirt that shows off your woo-hoo.”
“He’s totally TA.”- mrsbluemoon
“NTA.”
“And I think that it actually had the desired effect of shutting him up.”- bellePunk
“NTA.”
“Though even if he does start wearing shoes, you shouldn’t have to cover your shoulders there is nothing inappropriate about them.”- Puma_Pounce
“No NTA.”
“Brian is a misogynistic jerk.”
“Who cares what he says.”
“He’s not deserving of respect anyways.”
“Next time, go in wearing capris and say ‘Oh I’m sorry Brian, my ankles are showing’.”
“‘My bad’.”
“‘They must be as hot as your feet’.”
“‘At least they don’t smell as bad’.”- Holmes221bBSt
“SHOULDERS?”
“Le scandal.”- Snarkybish03
“NTA.”
“Him ignoring you seems to be an improvement, what a rude man.”- Highclassbadass
“NTA.”
“I can’t believe this is smth I believe happened.”- auroracorpus
“NTA.”
“Misogynistic pigs deserve none of your attention.”
“He can mind his own business.”- Popular_Plate231
“NTA.”
“He sounds like he needs to put some shoes on and go touch grass.”- BeepleSteeple0330
“NTA.”
“His opinion of your personal style choices is his problem.”
“Not yours.”- BuffaloJackalope
“NTA ewwww he’s going to give y’all foot fungus.”- aaskhic
“Barefoot at work with carpet and I’m just thinking of all the times I’ve removed a staple from a document and it’s flown away to land invisibly in the carpet.”
“Would be worse than stepping on legos.”
“You NTA.”
“My petty ass brain is thinking you should start a summer filing project near his workstation and let those removed staples fly!”- gardener_zone_3
As the common saying goes, “no shirt, no shoes, no service.’
Considering that Brian couldn’t seem to meet even that minimum standard, which the OP most certainly did, one can’t help but feel like he was throwing a stone in a glass house.
Next time he feels the need to bemoan someone’s choice of clothing, one hope’s he’s at least wearing shoes.