Figuring out who gets what after someone dies is never easy.
Well, it could be easy.
But more often than not, loved ones make it arduous.
A lot of the time, everything is not in legal order.
However, when it is in legal order, some people still make a fuss.
Death as a whole is just never easy.
A sibling found themselves in a personal dilemma after their brother passed away, so they turned to the “Am I The A**Hole” (AITAH) subreddit for feedback.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
He asked:
“AITAH for evicting my deceased brother’s fiancé?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My brother passed away recently, and he had a live-in partner/fiancée.”
“Both of my parents have passed, and so has my sister. “
“So that leaves me as his next of kin. “
“The house my brother lived in was my grandparents’ house.”
“He purchased it in 2021, after they passed away.”
“We grew up in that house, and I have a massive connection to that home.”
“It’s the only thing I have left of my family, I’m the only one left.”
“Since I’m the next of kin, I inherited the house. “
“I offered his partner, let’s say his name is Steve, that he could continue to live there if he paid the mortgage and the property taxes.”
“Similar to renting.”
“Steve said he couldn’t afford it and asked me to sell instead. “
“He requested information on the kind of profits he would be receiving/inheriting from the house.”
“I told him even if he wasn’t living there, I inherited the house, I won’t be selling, and he won’t be inheriting any money from it. “
“He demanded that I sell, and that he would take me to court over the inheritance.”
“I pleaded to his sensibilities; this was my family home, he was my only connection to my brother, left, and he refused.”
“So I offered to pay for an apartment for him for a year, since I’m also my brother’s named life insurance beneficiary. “
“Steve demanded everything, including the life insurance, despite my telling him I’m named.”
“I told him he wasn’t getting anything and needed to leave my family’s house after he threatened to take me to court a second time.”
“He refused, so I filed for eviction.”
“I was also told to add to my post: Steve and my brother were together for 6 years, engaged for 2 prior to his death.”
“My brother and I had talked a few months before his death about how sure, they were engaged, but he was probably never going to get married (not sure if this was due to the new administration and concerns around how the same-sex marriage law may change, or if their relationship was rocky).”
“1 year prior to my brother’s death, he got a new job and named me as his life insurance beneficiary.”
“After they were already engaged.”
“Common law doesn’t exist in my state, and Steve never paid into the house at all.”
“My brother paid all of their bills.’
“I paid the mortgage on my family home for the last year, and just recently talked to Steve after the estate went through probate.”
“I can’t afford to pay both mortgages regularly.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITAH for evicting my deceased brother’s fiancé?”
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. If your brother had wanted his partner to inherit his home or life insurance policy, he would have named him as the beneficiary.”
“Don’t give Steve anything.”
“Proceed with the eviction, but make sure you are running everything past a lawyer.”
“Let Steve take you to court if he wants.” ~ MrsSEM84
“NTA. You were generous in your offers to allow Steve to stay and to rent him an apartment.”
“He chose not to accept and to demand everything your brother owned.”
“If your brother had wanted his unmarried partner to be his beneficiary, he needed to write a will and change his life insurance.”
“Your brother didn’t do that.” ~ teresajs
“Perhaps it’s the cynic in me, but seeing the edit and how the brother set things up, I do wonder if he saw this relationship continuing.”
“While we all handle grief differently, the fiancée is experiencing grief.”
“The fact that they demanded the house sold because they couldn’t afford to rent it, then the moment they realised there was more to be had, they demanded that.”
“I get the impression this entitlement and expectation to have someone else care for them was something the brother had seen.” ~ Hoplite68
“It looks from some other posts that you had some health issues/cancer about a year ago.”
“That may explain why your brother chose to leave you his life insurance, in addition to the house.”
“Regardless, he made his decisions.”
“You have been more than kind, but it is time to implement his estate plan.”
“Steve will never change.”
“Finish this up and move on.” ~ Bluebelle100
“NTA, but this is exactly why I would never build a life with someone who wouldn’t legally marry me.”
“You have nooo rights once they’re gone.” ~ SnailandPepper
“This happened to my husband’s grandfather’s girlfriend at 95 years old.”
“It made me see my in-laws in a totally different light.”
“Gave her 1 month to pack up and leave.”
“They were together for over 20 years.”
“That woman was the kindest woman.”
“She was just told the date and time of the funeral.”
“She was treated horribly and was sequestered to the back row of the funeral service.” ~ Imaginary_Theory1539
“Time to go to your local court and initiate the eviction process.”
“Do NOT be extorted into paying a year’s rent.” ~ madskills60
“I think it sucks for the surviving spouse/significant other to be kicked out of a home they lived in together.”
“This happens so frequently to those.”
“Not married.”
“His whole life was destroyed.”
“Now he is being forced out of the home they shared.”
“But, brother should have made provisions.”
“My mom lost her partner of 30-plus years.”
“His kids thought they could swoop down and take everything from her.”
“Luckily, they made provisions.”
“They got their share of the house when it sold.”
“But they did not get anything else.”
“Unless it was offered to them.”
“My mom and her significant other built a life, but they were smart.” ~ speee2dy
“NTA, sorry you’re going through this.”
“I had to deal with something similar when my grandfather passed. “
“Peace and love to you.” ~ rational_humanity
“NTA. If the fiancé had been contributing, it would be different.”
“For me, the deciding factor was that the life insurance, which was after the engagement, listed you as the beneficiary and not his partner.”
“If he was concerned about his partner’s ability to manage the finances, he could have set up a trust and asked you to administer it.”
“The house being passed to you, regardless of whether they were married, makes sense given your family connection to the home.” ~ jennifer79t
“NTA. You have every right to evict Steve.”
“If your brother wanted Steve to get anything, your brother would have made arrangements.”
“He didn’t.”
“I’d suggest you consult with an attorney before offering to pay rent, etc.”
“I’m not an attorney, but you appear to be in a good place legally.”
“This situation is interesting.” ~ FlashyHabit3030
“NTA, but I have a feeling that this isn’t over.”
“I’d expect to find him contesting everything from the eviction to the will.”
“I understand he’s in pain, but he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.”
“He could have actually benefitted from your brother’s passing, but he wanted to be a di*k to his partner’s next of kin.”
“Look, if your brother wanted his partner to have a stake in the home, then your brother would have married him or put him on the deed.”
“Do not feel guilty. But please UpdateMe!” ~ Dewhickey76
“NTA. Although I’m sure he’s behaving this way out of grief.”
“People do crazy things when they’re grieving, so try to have a little Grace in that sense only.”
“It’s your family home, and you’re doing the right thing.”
“You tried to give him other options, which, in my opinion, was way more than generous enough.”
“I am very, very sorry for your loss.”
“I wish you the best of luck during this terrible time.” ~ Equal_Language403
“NTA. Married is married, and not married is not married.”
“He has zero claim to anything.”
“If your brother wanted his fiancé to get the house, he would have made those arrangements, probably by marrying him.”
“I’m sorry about your losses.”
“You were exceedingly generous by offering an apt for a season.”
“You’re not responsible for your brother’s partner.”
“He is very naive if he expects anything.” ~ FamiliarFamiliar
OP returned to chat…
“After everyone speculated on their relationship and the potential issues, it raised a red flag for me.”
“So I had a conversation last night with my brother’s best friend, ‘Anna.'”
“I told her what was going on, asked for some insight, and immediately she told me not to give him anything.”
“She said she would testify to this if necessary, but that Steve and my brother were having MAJOR problems.”
“My brother tried working it out for the last year of his life, trying to see the relationship through, but nothing was changing.”
“Steve was using my brother at every turn.”
“About a week before he passed away, he gave him a month to pack up and leave.”
“I hadn’t talked to my brother since Christmas, a couple of weeks prior, so I had no idea.”
“I will be discussing this with my attorney at this point.”
Reddit is with you, OP.
Your brother’s partner is out of line.
You have to protect what is yours and your brother’s.
Sorry for your loss.