When something goes wrong or doesn’t go our way, our first instinct is often to blame someone else.
Sometimes, this is more than justified, as it was truly the malicious actions of one individual that caused problems and chaos for everyone.
Other times, however, people find a reason to blame someone purely owing to the fact that deep down, they know they have no one to blame but themselves.
Redditor Academic-Bid-5491 and his roommate were both studying up late preparing for something that would greatly affect their future.
The original poster (OP)’s roommate eventually entrusted the OP with a task.
A task the OP soon realized he wouldn’t be able to accomplish, making an effort to get ahead of the game.
Sadly, his efforts went unnoticed by his roommate, who would go on to blame the OP for a very disappointing turn of events.
Feeling his roommate was being unfair, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not waking up my roommate on the day of his final med school exam?”
The OP explained why his roommate went on to blame him for a low test score:
“I (23 M[ale]) and my roommate Justin (23 M) are med students.”
“We’ve been living together as roommates for two years, and we live in a hostel.”
“Last week were our final year exams, and it was absolute hell.”
“We were surviving on 2-3 hours of sleep daily, fueled by coffee and energy drinks (I know it’s not healthy but there’s no other way to pass lol).”
“On the last day of exams, Justin was unusually exhausted.”
“Around 1 am, he decided to sleep and told me to wake him up at 3 am.”
“I agreed.”
“However, by 2:30 am, I was dead.”
“My brain was shutting down, my notes were getting blurry and I knew if I stayed up any longer, I’d pass out.”
“I decided to wake Justin up early.”
“I woke Justin up at 2:30 am and told him the time and suggested he set an alarm so he wouldn’t oversleep.”
“Justin sat upright, rubbed his eyes, and nodded and said ‘alright’.”
“I was like ‘don’t forget to set the alarm’ and then almost instantly fell asleep.”
“We both woke up at 8 AM.”
“I had set my alarm for 6 but I kept hitting snooze.”
“Justin freaked out, accusing me of not waking him up as promised.”
“I reminded him that I did wake him up at 2:30 AM and suggested he set an alarm.”
“Justin said that he was too sleepy to comprehend what’s happening and insisted that I should have stayed awake to wake him at 3 AM or at least made sure he was fully awake before sleeping.”
“Justin’s exam didn’t go well, and now he’s blaming me.”
“I understand his frustration, but I think he’s being unfair.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for not waking Justin up.
Everyone agreed that it was not the OP’s responsibility to wake Justin up, as he did tell him to set an alarm not once, but twice, and that Justin’s poor test results were owing to his poor studying and time management, having noting to do with the OP.
“NTA.”
“It sounds like you were both exhausted and burnt out from studying.”
“At the end of the day you are both adults and can do for yourselves.”
“It was nice of you to let him know at 2:30 that you were going to sleep and to set an alarm.”
“I understand the frustration of not being coherent to comprehend information though.”
“As someone is in the medical world, and has studied like you all, ultimately you are responsible for your exam grades.”
“I learned that studying at that level of exhaustion doesn’t help.”
“If I didn’t know the material by then, I wasn’t going to.”
“His blame appears misplaced due to not doing well exam.”- beefcurtainpercs
“NTA.”
“Plus the extra sleep was what his body needed more than studying.”
“He most likely did better than he would have if you would have woke him up at 3.”- LuneJean
“NTA.”
“It’s cool you and Justin are able to support each other to study but that doesn’t extend to being responsible for each other’s performance in exams.”
“Hope you can both rest once exams are all done.”- Inevitable_Bit_9257
“NTA.”
“You did wake him up.”
“What would’ve been different half an hour later?”
“Quite likely nothing, and now he’d still be saying you didn’t make completely sure he was awake.”
“If he’s giving himself a pass for being too drowsy to comprehend what was happening, you – similarly exhausted – should be getting one too.”- AncastaOfTheRiver
“If he didn’t know it by the time he went to sleep, he wasn’t going to learn it between 3 and 8 am. NTA.”- ex-farm-grrrl
“NTA.”
“You’re just a convenient scapegoat.”
“If he couldn’t understand to set an alarm, then he wouldn’t have taken in much of the material he was studying.”
“My policy has always been to get a good night’s sleep before an exam.”- feetflatontheground
“Actually the brain works better on sufficient sleep than it does on sleep deprivation.”
“Surely that was covered in a med class?”
“Anyway NTA for waking him up as asked and he forgot to set an alarm.”- cloistered_around
“NTA!”
“You did wake him up to set an alarm, & ultimately it is his responsibility, not yours.”-
mybadluver
“NTA.”
“I’m sorry but people have to take personal responsibility for their own life.”- Exotic-Background500
“NTA.”
“You both CLEARLY needed the sleep.”
“As med students you should both realize the dangers of sleep deprivation.”- SurrealSadi
“NTA.”
“He should responsible for getting up.”
“You both have terrible study hygiene.”
“There absolutely are better ways to pass than on 2-3 hrs of sleep.”
“It isn’t an effective use of time to attempt to study while fatigued as your tired brain doesn’t retain information.”
“How you don’t know this is a mystery, perhaps best explained by your terrible study habits.”- Plumbus-aficianado
“I’m a current neurosurgery resident and this dude is not going to be a good resident if he’s this quick to blame others for his own incompetence or unreliability.”
“Not to mention – you did wake him up.”
“He fell back asleep, presumably the same reason he doesn’t rely on an alarm because he will snooze it.”
“Definitely NTA.”
“Also stop staying up late cramming… a good nights sleep will be better for your performance than a couple exhausted hours of sh*tty studying that you don’t retain.”- Anothershad0w
“Gonna be honest, as someone who used to do the cramming thing: It’s better to get the sleep you need than continue cramming.”
“If you don’t sleep enough, you won’t remember what you need to, and then the whole point of cramming is lost.”
“I know it’s not the point of the post, but I really think it’s important to really consider whether this type of studying is ultimately going to help.”
“Because in my experience, no.”
“If I didn’t know something until the night before, chances are I’m not going to remember it while doing the exam even if I happened to go over it at 3am because my body didn’t get enough sleep.”
“That being said, NTA.”
“Him saying you should’ve stayed awake beyond what you could manage just to wake him up is incredibly entitled.”
“You needed the rest, and if he didn’t set an alarm that’s on him.”- Okay_physics_student
“NTA.”
“Not only you did what it was asked of you, he is not your responsibility.”
“You’re not his mother, and it’s not your job to take care of him.”
“By the title, I thought you let him sleep in, but it wasn’t that.”
“What you don’t know the day before the exam, you don’t know.”
“He is quite childish to blame you when probably were his nerves and lack of sleep the problem.”-Kyurengo
“Really easy to blame someone else.”
“NTA.”- sues-zzzz-que
“NTA.”
“You did your best; your solution (wake him up 1/2 hour early and strongly suggest he set his alarm) was sensible.”
“He acknowledged that he heard you and was okay with your solution (set his own alarm).”
“At the end of the day, you aren’t his Mother.”
“What’s he going to do at the end of a long shift in the ER?”
“Fall asleep and blame his patients for not waking him up?”- Waste_Worker6122
The fact that Justin asked the OP at 3 AM makes it pretty unsurprising that his test didn’t go well.
Making sure he had an adequate rest/study balance ultimately fell on him and no one else.
Blaming the OP for not waking him up is simply inaccurate, no matter what he could “comprehend” at the moment. Justin has every right to be disappointed with how things turned out but has no right to blame others for that.